What are my wishes for 2025?
Financial stability
Not feeling alone daily
Not feeling like my body is trying to sabotage me
Contentment

After a bath with me barely able to stand, Keeva decides this is the night she’ll sleep on my bed. Cue me falling asleep with the smell of a wet dog (honeysuckle flavour rather than rotting liver flavour). But the important thing is that my puppy is ok & thats all that matters 💚

I get back into bed, only to realise where the smell actually came from. The rotting liver juice had fallen on Keeva when she knocked the trap. So at 11pm my mom and I were giving Keeva a bath, which isn’t so easy considering I’d taken my strong sleeping tablet earlier..

Panic ensued thinking she’d eaten poison, so we woke my dad who informed us that the trap only contained chicken livers left to rot and attract flies 🤢🤢
We feed Keeva some biscuits hoping it fixes her bad breath (it didn’t)

My mom comes to my room asking about the smell which has permeated the whole house. We go outside & discover the source of the smell. My wonderful dog had jumped up & dislodged the fly catcher the was hanging (quite high up) from the shed.

One of my favourites! The scent of jasmine is just intoxicating ☺️

For the first time in atleast 5 years I’m staying up past 8pm because I’m simply not tired… the best part is that I’m still not feeling the full impact yet, that comes in another 2 weeks or so

And here’s my top 5s just incase 😂😂

Looking forward to seeing my therapist tomorrow and discussing the fact that I might not be crazy after all 🙃🫠😂

Getting booked in on Wednesday (that’s the earliest I could get off work) for scopes to find the source of the bleed and then an iron infusion. Doctors are insisting that I take it easy until then (but still have to work 🙄) they seem to think anything activity will push my system over the edge

Highly recommend! Some of the episodes are super long (I listened to them when I had to drive 7 hours recently!). Format is that Simon doesn’t read the scripts beforehand, so you get his off the cuff reactions and predictions along the way

Have you listened to the Casual Criminalist? They cover a wide scope of murder stories from various countries, but Simon (the host) normally doesn't go into too much depth with describing the crimes themselves

Ive had periods in my life where Im in the dark & twisty place, but I always got myself out of it.
This time feels different, this feels like it doesnt get better, that there's no way out of this & this is just where I remain.
Please excuse me while I go cry in the bathroom for the 3rd time today

This permanent state of exhausting has had such a toll on my mental health. It's so difficult to find joy in anything when I feel like my brain is foggy 99% of the time. Yes, there are moments when I can still laugh, but those are few and far between

Im so over being exhausted permanently. It doesnt matter if I get the "perfect" amount of sleep, eat right, exercise, do the things I'm told to do, Im tired no matter what. I'm not talking about "I could do with a nap tired" I mean being on the verge of passing out at my desk or while I'm teaching.