sucks that i had to waste mental energy on something i could never succeed in

also starting to feel this way about high school maths. i could've gone without feeling suicidal cause i couldn't do anything beyond basic algebra

posting on bluesky feels writing in a secret diary no one will ever see

if this was twitter i'd likely get dunked on for saying any of this. but on bsky i'm practically invisible so it doesn't really matter

wearing a headscarf feels like such a statement. i look so white that wearing anything that could theoretically belong to another culture looks innately offensive on me(?) idk it's hard to explain

thanks to this journey, i've noticed i've become one of those ppl who's maybe too concerned with "cultural appropriation." not sure how to feel about that. i think it stems from past behaviour that i regret, so i might be overcompensating a bit these days

am i experiencing cultural cringe or is it just bad? idk

so i've given up on headscarves. i still need something to wear under a hat because wearing hats with really short hair feels super uncomfortable. maybe i could get a skull cap, but knowing my luck that'll look bad on me too 😔

this video's a good start :3

my bachelor of music in composition was so useless. i don't feel like i learnt much at all

that same employee seemed so fake and corporate it was genuinely uncomfortable interacting with them

when i used to see a job provider, one of the employees changed the dates on my resume so there weren't any gaps. so it changed 1 month long work experience i had to at least a year. it felt so bizarre and dishonest. how am i supposed to keep track of the lies in the middle of an interview?