I wish I could do something but I don’t know how

And I can’t say anything to anybody because then I’m just complaining about having a steady job.. as if it’s not slowly suffocating me. As if I don’t feel myself fading away because it’s so soul crushing

But no… I’m teaching. Something I was super adamant about not wanting to be stuck in and here I am 4 years later stuck in it. I hate it I hate it I hate it

It’s almost like the universe is telling me I fucked up and I am stuck in this never ending downward spiral… I just want to create and be in a field that lets me do that