Aimi ☃️ ON TUMBLR!
@altaiiriss.bsky.social
• 26 🇮🇹 – MINORS & ANTIS DNI!
• that 'aroacespec skk' ficwriter
• currently active on TUMBLR! (altaiiriss)
• that 'aroacespec skk' ficwriter
• currently active on TUMBLR! (altaiiriss)
thank you! 🙂↕️
March 11, 2025 at 1:04 PM
thank you! 🙂↕️
"you make me want to die." chuuya mumbles, and suddenly his skin is coated in black, and dazai isn't in his grip anymore.
he's been swallowed, hasn't he? at least that implies he's not alone.
how relieving.
he's been swallowed, hasn't he? at least that implies he's not alone.
how relieving.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"you make me want to die." chuuya mumbles, and suddenly his skin is coated in black, and dazai isn't in his grip anymore.
he's been swallowed, hasn't he? at least that implies he's not alone.
how relieving.
he's been swallowed, hasn't he? at least that implies he's not alone.
how relieving.
"i have to go," dazai mutters firmly, removing chuuya's hand from his crumpled shirt, "let me go, chuuya.”
“i—”
the words die in his throat, stabbing his insides like a thousand tiny needles.
his eyes fall to the floor, and in the blink of an eye he's surrounded by darkness.
“i—”
the words die in his throat, stabbing his insides like a thousand tiny needles.
his eyes fall to the floor, and in the blink of an eye he's surrounded by darkness.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"i have to go," dazai mutters firmly, removing chuuya's hand from his crumpled shirt, "let me go, chuuya.”
“i—”
the words die in his throat, stabbing his insides like a thousand tiny needles.
his eyes fall to the floor, and in the blink of an eye he's surrounded by darkness.
“i—”
the words die in his throat, stabbing his insides like a thousand tiny needles.
his eyes fall to the floor, and in the blink of an eye he's surrounded by darkness.
there's something interesting about the way chuuya remarks the word 'me' rather than 'leave', dazai thinks.
"don't you dare leave me." chuuya says through gritted teeth. he cannot pinpoint the exact moment desperation turned into anger.
"don't you dare leave me." chuuya says through gritted teeth. he cannot pinpoint the exact moment desperation turned into anger.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
there's something interesting about the way chuuya remarks the word 'me' rather than 'leave', dazai thinks.
"don't you dare leave me." chuuya says through gritted teeth. he cannot pinpoint the exact moment desperation turned into anger.
"don't you dare leave me." chuuya says through gritted teeth. he cannot pinpoint the exact moment desperation turned into anger.
"i'm not letting go until you change your mind. stay." he says.
"you can't change my mind on this, chuuya.”
"stay," he pleads, "stay, stay, stay! don't—" his voice breaks, and dazai knows they've hit the point of no return, "don't leave /me/."
"you can't change my mind on this, chuuya.”
"stay," he pleads, "stay, stay, stay! don't—" his voice breaks, and dazai knows they've hit the point of no return, "don't leave /me/."
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"i'm not letting go until you change your mind. stay." he says.
"you can't change my mind on this, chuuya.”
"stay," he pleads, "stay, stay, stay! don't—" his voice breaks, and dazai knows they've hit the point of no return, "don't leave /me/."
"you can't change my mind on this, chuuya.”
"stay," he pleads, "stay, stay, stay! don't—" his voice breaks, and dazai knows they've hit the point of no return, "don't leave /me/."
"stay," chuuya says again, as if the world alone could make dazai truly stay, "stay. fucking stay."
"i ca—”
“stay.”
ah, it's been a long time since chuuya felt the animalistic urge to claim someone as his.
"i ca—”
“stay.”
ah, it's been a long time since chuuya felt the animalistic urge to claim someone as his.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"stay," chuuya says again, as if the world alone could make dazai truly stay, "stay. fucking stay."
"i ca—”
“stay.”
ah, it's been a long time since chuuya felt the animalistic urge to claim someone as his.
"i ca—”
“stay.”
ah, it's been a long time since chuuya felt the animalistic urge to claim someone as his.
'and i wish it weren't me', dazai thinks.
'and i wish it didn't always have to be me', chuuya thinks.
'and i wish it didn't always have to be me', chuuya thinks.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
'and i wish it weren't me', dazai thinks.
'and i wish it didn't always have to be me', chuuya thinks.
'and i wish it didn't always have to be me', chuuya thinks.
"stay," chuuya pleads, hands shaking as he grips dazai's shirt as if that could prevent him from disappearing, "stop hiding—stay with me.”
"to stay is to be hurt," he tries to offer a defeated smile, "i think one of us is destined to hurt.”
"to stay is to be hurt," he tries to offer a defeated smile, "i think one of us is destined to hurt.”
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"stay," chuuya pleads, hands shaking as he grips dazai's shirt as if that could prevent him from disappearing, "stop hiding—stay with me.”
"to stay is to be hurt," he tries to offer a defeated smile, "i think one of us is destined to hurt.”
"to stay is to be hurt," he tries to offer a defeated smile, "i think one of us is destined to hurt.”
dazai's breath gets stuck in his throat. "what can i do to make it stop?" he asks, and he hasn't heard that hopeless tone coming from himself since he held odasaku's dying body close to his chest. "i really want to go, chuuya.”
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
dazai's breath gets stuck in his throat. "what can i do to make it stop?" he asks, and he hasn't heard that hopeless tone coming from himself since he held odasaku's dying body close to his chest. "i really want to go, chuuya.”
they can't dance around the truth anymore.
"i'm already hurting," chuuya whispers, and he makes sure that the resentment in his words is heard loud and clear, "you're hurting me so much.”
"i'm already hurting," chuuya whispers, and he makes sure that the resentment in his words is heard loud and clear, "you're hurting me so much.”
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
they can't dance around the truth anymore.
"i'm already hurting," chuuya whispers, and he makes sure that the resentment in his words is heard loud and clear, "you're hurting me so much.”
"i'm already hurting," chuuya whispers, and he makes sure that the resentment in his words is heard loud and clear, "you're hurting me so much.”
"i can't die knowing that'll hurt you. i need you to want me dead.”
which is ironic, isn't it? they've been bragging about hating and killing each other since they were fifteen, and yet now that they can feel the weight of their words on their hands, it feels inexplicably wrong.
which is ironic, isn't it? they've been bragging about hating and killing each other since they were fifteen, and yet now that they can feel the weight of their words on their hands, it feels inexplicably wrong.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"i can't die knowing that'll hurt you. i need you to want me dead.”
which is ironic, isn't it? they've been bragging about hating and killing each other since they were fifteen, and yet now that they can feel the weight of their words on their hands, it feels inexplicably wrong.
which is ironic, isn't it? they've been bragging about hating and killing each other since they were fifteen, and yet now that they can feel the weight of their words on their hands, it feels inexplicably wrong.
because that's dazai osamu—when he finally stumbles upon something he likes, he holds on to it tightly with bruising force because violence is the only form of love he's ever known, until he swallows the object of his desire whole, until it becomes black, until he turns to nothing, just like him.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
because that's dazai osamu—when he finally stumbles upon something he likes, he holds on to it tightly with bruising force because violence is the only form of love he's ever known, until he swallows the object of his desire whole, until it becomes black, until he turns to nothing, just like him.
he frames chuuya's freckled face with his bare hands, holding him so tightly that the redhead's bones might shatter at any time.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
he frames chuuya's freckled face with his bare hands, holding him so tightly that the redhead's bones might shatter at any time.
"i never meant anything to you, did i?" he mutters, and dazai feels something in his throat snap.
"chuuya," he breathes, and his name tastes like a curse on his tongue, "i want to die. i want to /die/."
"chuuya," he breathes, and his name tastes like a curse on his tongue, "i want to die. i want to /die/."
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"i never meant anything to you, did i?" he mutters, and dazai feels something in his throat snap.
"chuuya," he breathes, and his name tastes like a curse on his tongue, "i want to die. i want to /die/."
"chuuya," he breathes, and his name tastes like a curse on his tongue, "i want to die. i want to /die/."
no, no. this—this isn't part of the plan. why is chuuya hurting this much? why is he cradling dazai's cold cheeks with trembling hands? why is he holding on to him instead of letting him go?
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
no, no. this—this isn't part of the plan. why is chuuya hurting this much? why is he cradling dazai's cold cheeks with trembling hands? why is he holding on to him instead of letting him go?
"i don't know what to do with you," he says, and the desperation in his voice hits dazai all at once. "you're killing me, dazai.”
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"i don't know what to do with you," he says, and the desperation in his voice hits dazai all at once. "you're killing me, dazai.”
chuuya's voice reaches the most sensitive parts of dazai where not even the alcohol is allowed to go.
but it's all going according to plan. chuuya is angry—no, he's furious at him, and dazai can tell he's about to be kicked out of his apartment.
until chuuya breaks down.
but it's all going according to plan. chuuya is angry—no, he's furious at him, and dazai can tell he's about to be kicked out of his apartment.
until chuuya breaks down.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
chuuya's voice reaches the most sensitive parts of dazai where not even the alcohol is allowed to go.
but it's all going according to plan. chuuya is angry—no, he's furious at him, and dazai can tell he's about to be kicked out of his apartment.
until chuuya breaks down.
but it's all going according to plan. chuuya is angry—no, he's furious at him, and dazai can tell he's about to be kicked out of his apartment.
until chuuya breaks down.
except the alcohol makes him say stuff he doesn't mean, and it doesn't protect him from the harshness of chuuya's words.
they're scarring dazai's flesh, cutting through that thick black layer that became his second skin and his first home.
they're scarring dazai's flesh, cutting through that thick black layer that became his second skin and his first home.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
except the alcohol makes him say stuff he doesn't mean, and it doesn't protect him from the harshness of chuuya's words.
they're scarring dazai's flesh, cutting through that thick black layer that became his second skin and his first home.
they're scarring dazai's flesh, cutting through that thick black layer that became his second skin and his first home.
"i'm not leaving for work until you tell me why the fuck you've been avoiding me for weeks." the redhead says, voice rough.
dazai chuckles. thank god there's plenty of alcohol in his system right now. he wouldn't be able to deal with this while completely sober.
dazai chuckles. thank god there's plenty of alcohol in his system right now. he wouldn't be able to deal with this while completely sober.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
"i'm not leaving for work until you tell me why the fuck you've been avoiding me for weeks." the redhead says, voice rough.
dazai chuckles. thank god there's plenty of alcohol in his system right now. he wouldn't be able to deal with this while completely sober.
dazai chuckles. thank god there's plenty of alcohol in his system right now. he wouldn't be able to deal with this while completely sober.
until one night he's coming home half drunk—whisky is way more alluring when it tastes like self-destruction—and he finds chuuya standing in the middle of the living room, arms crossed over his chest.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
until one night he's coming home half drunk—whisky is way more alluring when it tastes like self-destruction—and he finds chuuya standing in the middle of the living room, arms crossed over his chest.
he starts turning down his coworkers' offers to eat lunch at the restaurant together, preferring to sit alone in the darkness of his dorm room and ignore the way his body is begging for food.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
he starts turning down his coworkers' offers to eat lunch at the restaurant together, preferring to sit alone in the darkness of his dorm room and ignore the way his body is begging for food.
he goes to bar lupin, sharing drinks with the ghost of odasaku until he's coming home so late that chuuya has already left for his night shift.
March 7, 2025 at 4:36 PM
he goes to bar lupin, sharing drinks with the ghost of odasaku until he's coming home so late that chuuya has already left for his night shift.