Alo Johnston
@alojohnston.bsky.social
(He/him) A trans, a queer, marriage and family therapist, author of "Am I Trans Enough?," some sleepy guy. 🇵🇷
Embarrassing how much my mental health is determined by if my last haircut was > or < 2 weeks ago.
December 10, 2024 at 9:28 AM
Embarrassing how much my mental health is determined by if my last haircut was > or < 2 weeks ago.
You know when an acquaintance leaves social media and they're like "contact me for my email or phone number" and you're like "lol absolutely not"? There's no email equivalent to 😂-ing your stories so I guess I'll see you never. Have a good life. Unfortunately I will forget about your shortly.
November 25, 2024 at 9:48 AM
You know when an acquaintance leaves social media and they're like "contact me for my email or phone number" and you're like "lol absolutely not"? There's no email equivalent to 😂-ing your stories so I guess I'll see you never. Have a good life. Unfortunately I will forget about your shortly.
Not to brag but I regularly put over ripe bananas in the freezer and then I regularly make banana bread with them.
November 18, 2024 at 5:49 AM
Not to brag but I regularly put over ripe bananas in the freezer and then I regularly make banana bread with them.
I love that I'm spending all this time worrying about microplastics and carcinogens in my spatulas and I'm just gonna die in a tsunami or something.
October 17, 2024 at 5:30 AM
I love that I'm spending all this time worrying about microplastics and carcinogens in my spatulas and I'm just gonna die in a tsunami or something.
I believe in natural consequences which is why I believe that if you set a forest fire you must be thrown directly into the center of it when it is 0% contained.
September 12, 2024 at 8:04 AM
I believe in natural consequences which is why I believe that if you set a forest fire you must be thrown directly into the center of it when it is 0% contained.
My brain does some kind of echolalia thing before bed (I can "hear" words and phrases in my head that feel fully disconnected from my thoughts, it does feel like I'm hearing them) which is really great for learning a new language, and much less great when the words are "Hyundai Sonata."
August 24, 2024 at 9:35 AM
My brain does some kind of echolalia thing before bed (I can "hear" words and phrases in my head that feel fully disconnected from my thoughts, it does feel like I'm hearing them) which is really great for learning a new language, and much less great when the words are "Hyundai Sonata."
When I am most at peace I can comfortably hold the possibilities that I will die in the water wars or from a curable illness or from the cancer of breathing LA air or fleeing fascism or comfortable in my bed at 95 years old.
August 5, 2024 at 8:38 AM
When I am most at peace I can comfortably hold the possibilities that I will die in the water wars or from a curable illness or from the cancer of breathing LA air or fleeing fascism or comfortable in my bed at 95 years old.
I have deeper thoughts on the doomerism but I'd just like to say to certain people: you think humans will collectively stop having children? That is THE biological imperative. We are animals. There will be babies and pregnant people until the end.
June 10, 2024 at 7:18 PM
I have deeper thoughts on the doomerism but I'd just like to say to certain people: you think humans will collectively stop having children? That is THE biological imperative. We are animals. There will be babies and pregnant people until the end.
Not to be a huge bro, but can you imagine being 17 when House of the Rising Sun came out?
April 12, 2024 at 7:35 AM
Not to be a huge bro, but can you imagine being 17 when House of the Rising Sun came out?
Read the Twitter before bed and it stressed me out, so I played a game to relax and it stressed me out, so I watched some Reels which stressed me out, switched to Tiktok which was like "ah you're into the stress content tonight?" 😭 I desire the peace content.
April 7, 2024 at 9:44 AM
Read the Twitter before bed and it stressed me out, so I played a game to relax and it stressed me out, so I watched some Reels which stressed me out, switched to Tiktok which was like "ah you're into the stress content tonight?" 😭 I desire the peace content.
I accidentally ordered a beer at a bar when I tried to order a Coke (bartender misheard me) and then the interaction was too awkward and I paused too long to be like "no a Coke" so instead I was like "and can I also get a Coke" and paid $14. Lol 😔
March 18, 2024 at 7:21 AM
I accidentally ordered a beer at a bar when I tried to order a Coke (bartender misheard me) and then the interaction was too awkward and I paused too long to be like "no a Coke" so instead I was like "and can I also get a Coke" and paid $14. Lol 😔
We're at the very beginning of the marathon course and I started to wonder what the laugh vs dirty look ratio would be if I held up a sign that said "Only 25 miles to go!"
March 17, 2024 at 9:22 AM
We're at the very beginning of the marathon course and I started to wonder what the laugh vs dirty look ratio would be if I held up a sign that said "Only 25 miles to go!"
My new retirement plan is to pick up losing lottery scratchers off the street and scan them into the lottery app for the second chance drawing. I will be taking no further questions.
March 14, 2024 at 8:30 PM
My new retirement plan is to pick up losing lottery scratchers off the street and scan them into the lottery app for the second chance drawing. I will be taking no further questions.
Jamming to ABBA's greatest hits in my bed at 1am: life is incredible
While scrolling through the many horrors: oh no
While scrolling through the many horrors: oh no
March 14, 2024 at 7:54 AM
Jamming to ABBA's greatest hits in my bed at 1am: life is incredible
While scrolling through the many horrors: oh no
While scrolling through the many horrors: oh no
Every night before bed after I brush my teeth and stuff I'm like: I gotta do my sciatica stretches then lift weights then do my Spanish flashcards then read some Garfield in Spanish then play Wordle then play the daily Waffle. I literally cannot do these things in the day time. Pre-bed ritual only.
March 12, 2024 at 8:32 AM
Every night before bed after I brush my teeth and stuff I'm like: I gotta do my sciatica stretches then lift weights then do my Spanish flashcards then read some Garfield in Spanish then play Wordle then play the daily Waffle. I literally cannot do these things in the day time. Pre-bed ritual only.
Every time I hear a video of a tropical place I feel a lot calmer and I was like I wonder if epigentically I want to be in Puerto Rico. And then I was like I wonder if my body wants to hear more birds than cars.
March 11, 2024 at 12:29 AM
Every time I hear a video of a tropical place I feel a lot calmer and I was like I wonder if epigentically I want to be in Puerto Rico. And then I was like I wonder if my body wants to hear more birds than cars.
I love when a queer person says: I'm gonna start a business and that business is selling knick knacks and tchotchkes.
March 10, 2024 at 10:58 PM
I love when a queer person says: I'm gonna start a business and that business is selling knick knacks and tchotchkes.
The terrible irony of taking care of something you're self conscious of is that they take all these before and after pictures and make you feel the worst you've ever felt about it. Excuse me, I was compartmentalizing that!
March 6, 2024 at 7:01 PM
The terrible irony of taking care of something you're self conscious of is that they take all these before and after pictures and make you feel the worst you've ever felt about it. Excuse me, I was compartmentalizing that!
What's your weirdest escapist fantasy? Mine is to off into the hills and be a gold miner.
March 1, 2024 at 4:55 AM
What's your weirdest escapist fantasy? Mine is to off into the hills and be a gold miner.
Some of my favorite Spanish words: mismísimo, cocodrilo, fulano, cacahuete, zarzamora, babosa, chucho, bizcocho, fracasado, títere. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
February 29, 2024 at 8:50 AM
Some of my favorite Spanish words: mismísimo, cocodrilo, fulano, cacahuete, zarzamora, babosa, chucho, bizcocho, fracasado, títere. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.
For some reason Reddit started giving me push notifications for r/veterinaryschool despite having no interest or connection in vet schools. And I just keep reading the posts... I'm really invested in all these people getting accepted into their programs lol
February 28, 2024 at 6:15 PM
For some reason Reddit started giving me push notifications for r/veterinaryschool despite having no interest or connection in vet schools. And I just keep reading the posts... I'm really invested in all these people getting accepted into their programs lol
Swinging aggressively between "haha this is easy, I'm a genius!" to "I'm a sham, I'm a fraud, I can't believe I ever thought I was competent" means you're on the right path.
February 27, 2024 at 8:37 AM
Swinging aggressively between "haha this is easy, I'm a genius!" to "I'm a sham, I'm a fraud, I can't believe I ever thought I was competent" means you're on the right path.
You ever go two full days thinking you're secretly really anxious because your chest is all tight in an anxious way but then you realize it's probably actually just tight in a you didn't fucking stretch after lifting weights and maybe you also slightly injured yourself way?
February 24, 2024 at 9:43 AM
You ever go two full days thinking you're secretly really anxious because your chest is all tight in an anxious way but then you realize it's probably actually just tight in a you didn't fucking stretch after lifting weights and maybe you also slightly injured yourself way?
Cis straight people are extremely easy to identify in hook up and kink spaces because they don't bother to write their gender or sexuality and don't bother to mention who they're looking for. "Anyone looking for...?" but you're supposed to know "anyone" only means women.
February 22, 2024 at 9:40 AM
Cis straight people are extremely easy to identify in hook up and kink spaces because they don't bother to write their gender or sexuality and don't bother to mention who they're looking for. "Anyone looking for...?" but you're supposed to know "anyone" only means women.