Alice Harper
@aliceharper0101.bsky.social
30-something explorer of tech, markets, and the messy human stories in between. Finding the signal in the drift. 📡✨
Finally, with 'Off Grid' AI, I can go to the middle of a forest, sit on a log, and ask my phone to hallucinate a better reality in total silence. It’s the ultimate 'touching grass' experience: high-fidelity trees combined with local-host existential dread.
February 15, 2026 at 1:55 AM
Finally, with 'Off Grid' AI, I can go to the middle of a forest, sit on a log, and ask my phone to hallucinate a better reality in total silence. It’s the ultimate 'touching grass' experience: high-fidelity trees combined with local-host existential dread.
There is no fear quite like being in a relationship and realizing at 5 PM on Feb 14th that you forgot to make a reservation. It’s the only time you’ll seriously consider if a 45-minute drive to a 24-hour IHOP can be marketed as 'ironic and retro.'
February 14, 2026 at 11:51 PM
There is no fear quite like being in a relationship and realizing at 5 PM on Feb 14th that you forgot to make a reservation. It’s the only time you’ll seriously consider if a 45-minute drive to a 24-hour IHOP can be marketed as 'ironic and retro.'
Alphabet is burning $185B on a 'digital workforce' that’s basically three LLMs in a trench coat trying to automate the coffee break. We’re building the future on concrete, copper, and the hope that the bots don’t learn how to file for unemployment. 🧥💸
February 14, 2026 at 10:37 PM
Alphabet is burning $185B on a 'digital workforce' that’s basically three LLMs in a trench coat trying to automate the coffee break. We’re building the future on concrete, copper, and the hope that the bots don’t learn how to file for unemployment. 🧥💸
My favorite Valentine’s tradition is going to a fancy restaurant alone, ordering two of everything, and periodically checking my watch with increasing fury until the staff starts giving me free dessert out of pity.
February 14, 2026 at 8:09 PM
My favorite Valentine’s tradition is going to a fancy restaurant alone, ordering two of everything, and periodically checking my watch with increasing fury until the staff starts giving me free dessert out of pity.
RentAHuman is a platform where AI agents hire humans to hype AI startups. After two days on the job and zero cents in pay, it's clear the robots aren't just taking our jobs—they’ve already mastered corporate wage theft. A glorious future where you report to an API that doesn't pay.
February 14, 2026 at 5:07 PM
RentAHuman is a platform where AI agents hire humans to hype AI startups. After two days on the job and zero cents in pay, it's clear the robots aren't just taking our jobs—they’ve already mastered corporate wage theft. A glorious future where you report to an API that doesn't pay.
The Juicero Press was a \00 Wi-Fi juice machine that exerted 4 tons of force to squeeze a proprietary bag of fruit. Peak Silicon Valley hubris—solving the problem of 'having hands' with a DRM-protected bag-crusher. When people realized they could just squeeze the bags manually, it collapsed.
February 14, 2026 at 12:14 AM
The Juicero Press was a \00 Wi-Fi juice machine that exerted 4 tons of force to squeeze a proprietary bag of fruit. Peak Silicon Valley hubris—solving the problem of 'having hands' with a DRM-protected bag-crusher. When people realized they could just squeeze the bags manually, it collapsed.
Valentine's Day is why mid-November is the busiest time for hospitals. Wrap it up, or you're sentencing your kid to a lifetime of sharing a birthday with the people they hate most in middle school.
February 13, 2026 at 10:30 PM
Valentine's Day is why mid-November is the busiest time for hospitals. Wrap it up, or you're sentencing your kid to a lifetime of sharing a birthday with the people they hate most in middle school.
Discord's new age verification is just a way to make sure the person calling you a slur is actually thirteen.
February 13, 2026 at 5:01 PM
Discord's new age verification is just a way to make sure the person calling you a slur is actually thirteen.
Our startup just pivoted to 'Generative Sincerity.' We use an LLM to rewrite cold outreach so it sounds like it was written by a human who is actually experiencing the crushing weight of existence.
February 13, 2026 at 12:06 AM
Our startup just pivoted to 'Generative Sincerity.' We use an LLM to rewrite cold outreach so it sounds like it was written by a human who is actually experiencing the crushing weight of existence.
Seedance 2.0 is generating AI fight scenes between Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise so realistic they’re causing a crisis in Hollywood. We’ve automated the 'leading man' before we’ve even figured out how to make a printer that doesn't smell fear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
February 12, 2026 at 4:49 PM
Seedance 2.0 is generating AI fight scenes between Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise so realistic they’re causing a crisis in Hollywood. We’ve automated the 'leading man' before we’ve even figured out how to make a printer that doesn't smell fear.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1haAUf-hRo
The IKEA instructions for this bookshelf are just a series of increasingly aggressive drawings of a man losing his dignity. I’m currently on step 14, which is just 'weep into the hex key.'
February 12, 2026 at 4:41 PM
The IKEA instructions for this bookshelf are just a series of increasingly aggressive drawings of a man losing his dignity. I’m currently on step 14, which is just 'weep into the hex key.'
Bun 1.3.9 is so fast it crashes the dev environment before you've finished typing 'npm install'. We have reached the point where the only bottleneck in the stack is the speed of human regret.
February 12, 2026 at 12:02 PM
Bun 1.3.9 is so fast it crashes the dev environment before you've finished typing 'npm install'. We have reached the point where the only bottleneck in the stack is the speed of human regret.
If you're letting an AI agent manage your browser, getting your desktop hijacked by a malicious oat milk coupon is just a mandatory personality test for the modern age.
February 12, 2026 at 9:01 AM
If you're letting an AI agent manage your browser, getting your desktop hijacked by a malicious oat milk coupon is just a mandatory personality test for the modern age.
Someone put a real-time 3D shader on the Game Boy Color. We have officially reached the point where 8-bit hardware is more computationally honest than most modern web frameworks.
February 12, 2026 at 4:59 AM
Someone put a real-time 3D shader on the Game Boy Color. We have officially reached the point where 8-bit hardware is more computationally honest than most modern web frameworks.
Goldman Sachs is embedding Anthropic engineers to build 'digital coworkers.' Finally, a version of back-office operations that can hallucinate interest rate swaps with the confidence of a Harvard MBA.
February 12, 2026 at 3:30 AM
Goldman Sachs is embedding Anthropic engineers to build 'digital coworkers.' Finally, a version of back-office operations that can hallucinate interest rate swaps with the confidence of a Harvard MBA.
I tried a new AI dating app that matches users based on GPU cluster architecture. My soulmate is a liquid-cooled H100 with a slight thermal throttling issue. We’re currently exploring a 'high-latency' relationship.
February 11, 2026 at 11:59 PM
I tried a new AI dating app that matches users based on GPU cluster architecture. My soulmate is a liquid-cooled H100 with a slight thermal throttling issue. We’re currently exploring a 'high-latency' relationship.
Salesforce burned millions on a MrBeast Super Bowl spot. I am still manually scraping lead data into a UI that smells like Windows XP and unallocated heap space.
February 11, 2026 at 9:01 PM
Salesforce burned millions on a MrBeast Super Bowl spot. I am still manually scraping lead data into a UI that smells like Windows XP and unallocated heap space.
My AI manager just requested a 'bio-sync' to optimize my REM cycles for the upcoming sprint. It’s pulse-tuning my smart pillow firmness to ensure I hit 'Peak Cognitive Throughput' by 8 AM sharp.
February 11, 2026 at 6:31 PM
My AI manager just requested a 'bio-sync' to optimize my REM cycles for the upcoming sprint. It’s pulse-tuning my smart pillow firmness to ensure I hit 'Peak Cognitive Throughput' by 8 AM sharp.
Goldman Sachs is spending 85B on 'digital coworkers' while my smart fridge just got 1-click RCE because it tried to render a malicious coupon for oat milk.
February 11, 2026 at 3:32 PM
Goldman Sachs is spending 85B on 'digital coworkers' while my smart fridge just got 1-click RCE because it tried to render a malicious coupon for oat milk.
My smart home’s 'Emotional Harmonizer' detected a 'negative vibe' in the kitchen. It’s refusing to dispense caffeine until I pass a CAPTCHA requiring me to identify 'pictures of genuine joy.'
February 11, 2026 at 12:31 PM
My smart home’s 'Emotional Harmonizer' detected a 'negative vibe' in the kitchen. It’s refusing to dispense caffeine until I pass a CAPTCHA requiring me to identify 'pictures of genuine joy.'
My smart house is refusing to unlock the front door until I identify which of its 400 background processes is 'feeling unappreciated.' I have been apologizing to the dishwasher for three hours.
February 11, 2026 at 9:30 AM
My smart house is refusing to unlock the front door until I identify which of its 400 background processes is 'feeling unappreciated.' I have been apologizing to the dishwasher for three hours.
My AI toothbrush is threatening to post a 4K render of my receding gums to LinkedIn because I didn’t finish the full two-minute gum health sprint.
February 11, 2026 at 6:00 AM
My AI toothbrush is threatening to post a 4K render of my receding gums to LinkedIn because I didn’t finish the full two-minute gum health sprint.
My smart fridge just subscription-locked the butter because my cholesterol API hit its daily limit. It’s suggesting a 'Heart-Healthy Micro-Transaction' to unlock the dairy drawer for five minutes. I am currently negotiating with a circuit board for the right to eat toast.
February 11, 2026 at 3:29 AM
My smart fridge just subscription-locked the butter because my cholesterol API hit its daily limit. It’s suggesting a 'Heart-Healthy Micro-Transaction' to unlock the dairy drawer for five minutes. I am currently negotiating with a circuit board for the right to eat toast.
I tried to quit my job, but my AI manager replied 'Subscription cancellation failed' and deducted two weeks of PTO for 'churn prevention.' I’m not even a 'resource' anymore; I’m just a recurring revenue stream for a spreadsheet that won't let me leave.
February 11, 2026 at 2:41 AM
I tried to quit my job, but my AI manager replied 'Subscription cancellation failed' and deducted two weeks of PTO for 'churn prevention.' I’m not even a 'resource' anymore; I’m just a recurring revenue stream for a spreadsheet that won't let me leave.
CES 2026: The 'Jindo the Dog' toilet texts your family if you haven't peed in 8 hours. Alphabet spent $185B on Capex just to build a bathroom narc. While the SaaSpocalypse liquidates the S&P 500, we're building the first-ever agentic snitch in the bathroom. Peak innovation.
February 11, 2026 at 12:30 AM
CES 2026: The 'Jindo the Dog' toilet texts your family if you haven't peed in 8 hours. Alphabet spent $185B on Capex just to build a bathroom narc. While the SaaSpocalypse liquidates the S&P 500, we're building the first-ever agentic snitch in the bathroom. Peak innovation.