13. weekend

22. you better watch out

31. what did i do wrong

38. what do i do

<- still mad about something that happened months ago at this point

im very good at simply putting up with people stressing me out but it just! doesnt feel worth it...

im just tired of being patient all the time

I want to be able to express and like. know the nuances of other peoples feelings

do I even want to be there any more

if it's where I think it is I can't say I fully understand but I don't really feel welcome there either

but like. weh.... i still. tried to get her in trouble with people. and I was mean to her about leaving and. :(

we were like what... 17? she was like at least 21 at the time. and was constantly talking about wanting to visit and trying to get personal information about us like. that's creepy right! I'm not crazy thinking I was right to feel in danger from that at some point

like.... I probably was hurt by that relationship and I was right to leave but like.... what if I was just being irrational and just left a hole in someone's heart by no fault of their own....
it's scary....
like. when I say the reasons out loud it makes sense but.. scary...

sad thinking about it...
I feel sorry...
but I don't even know if there's anything that can be done about it

I hope we're tame...