Thank you for the whiskey stones, I’ll put them in the pile with all the other clutter I am socially obligated to keep

Harrowing stuff

Been thinking about the family curse a lot lately

(I am an excellent boyfriend)

“Can we give you a Hep C screening today?” “Sure.” They did not do a Hep C screening

I ask for a copy of my recent bloodwork. “We can do that.” They give me a copy of one from over a year ago. There is a puppy running around in the hallway.

There’s an implication here that Trump is picking up his own order at the drive-thru, and there is simply no way that has happened in decades

Societal tolerance for bizarre mouth sound effects has increased so much. Howard Dean permanently nuked his career for much less