I'm trying to buy a house and folks, it's bad out there. The monthly price of an average-house, average-rate mortgage where I live has gone from $1500 to $3600 in the past 3.5 years.

🚨 YEATS: TURNING AND TURNING OF THE WIDENING GYRE EXPECTED TO COINCIDE WITH THE FALCON NOT BEING ABLE TO HEAR THE FALCONER, CENTRE NOT EXPECTED TO HOLD

So proud of this incredible woman for reaching the light at the end of the tunnel and doubling the number of doctors in the household. Linearly extrapolating the current rate of increase in doctor density, our dog will have her PhD by day’s end

I recommend setting up a federal Battery Regulatory Commission (BRC) somewhere near Rockville, MD to regulate peaceful uses of batteries.

It’s hard to be an arthritic old lady with a nose that’s always chilly

Love a good multi-sport day in a place with multiple distinct climate zones 20 minutes from home

"Keep, ancient Twitter, your storied reign!" cries she
With silent lips. "Give me your tweets, your lore,
Your huddled masses yearning to tweet free,
The lost content from your crashing server's core.

Send these, the homeless, rate-limited to me,
I lift my lamp beside the invite-code door!"