Thanks for joining the Thirteenth Annual Toney Sibling Live-Tweet of the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Sponsored the by Sheinhardt Wig Company.

For the three of you who actually read all of these . . . please stop, so I can abandon this awful tradition.

A: I love that J-Hud is making one of the dancers hold her umbrella.
C: She doesn't have enough hands! She needs a mic!
A: And why is her mike purple? It clashes! Who makes these decisions?
C: Likely, Jennifer Hudson.

A: If I never hear Jimmy Fallon sing again it will be too soon.
C: What does that phrase even mean? It's nonsensical.
A: It means I never want to hear Jimmy Fallon sing again.
C: Look on the bright side—at least it isn't James Corden.

A: Riverdancer down.
C: Her worst nightmare.
A: In her defense it's fully raining out there.
C: There's no excuse. Not in Riverdancing.

C: Cynthia has broken the news of Hoda’s retirement!
A: This parade will never be the same. It’s already unwatchable.
C: I don’t know if I can go on without her.
A: Let’s hold space for that.
C: What?

A: The yellow and black polka dots were certainly a choice.
C: Why would somebody do that to these kids? They're already in band . . .

A: Idina belting this soulful ballad next to these sensual animals is breaking my brain.
C: The ones on stilts are particularly provocative.
A: This doesn’t make me want to go to the Bronx Zoo. I am not sure the Bronx Zoo made the right call here.
C: I am not sure the Bronx Zoo gets much of a choice

Hoda: “For so many, marching bands are the highlight of the parade.”
A: Is she kidding????

A: Why is The Outsiders guy singing in a crowd of children?
C: Are they part of the musical?
A: I don’t know, but they have *clearly* been instructed not to look into the camera.
C: That’s what I do when random guys burst into song around me—stare gently into space.

A: How did I not know Megan Hilty was in Death Becomes Her?
C: Is she? Or is she just introducing it?
A: She’s in it. And is Michelle Williams supposed to be the purple bottle? Like, brought to life? Or is she supposed to be Isabella Rossellini?

A: “America, go bowling?”
C: Is that some kind of coded political statement?
A: I genuinely do not know. Maybe I shouldn’t tweet it.
C: And Maybe this lady just really loves bowling

C: Do you think Hoda will keep doing the parade now that she’s retiring?
A: Gosh I hope so. I wouldn’t *Kotb* dead watching the parade without her.
C: Please don’t claim to have actually said that aloud. It makes no sense.
A: I am. I am going to claim just that.

A: I was unaware Billy Porter could sing. Should I have known that? 
C: Who is Billy Porter?
A: The guy from the motorized curtain hat meme?
C: That is not helpful
A: He is known mostly for his gowns