I lost my friend group in my breakup in 2022 and I still haven't recovered

I've floated from city to city and have mostly been alone and felt bad

I really don't know what to do

Now I've been suspended from twitter & I've stopped listening to podcasts I have learned that I AM LONELY AS HELL

WE'RE SPIRALLING-TWEETING BOYZ

( 1. I thought the spiralling was over, I think I just need to get some shit out of my system 2. what do you call it here if not tweeting)

Nothing like your friend starting dating someone 9 years older than you to make you go "oh shit I'm a 27 year old baby look at the 36 year old man oh man this sucks"

Last 24 hours = what the fuck am i doing with my life what the fuck am i doing with my life what the fuck am i doing with my life what the fuck am i doing with my life what the fuck am i doing with my life what the fuck am i doing with my life what the fuck am i doing with my life AHHH

Was holding a problem very very tightly and then I remembered that holding it more lightly is an option and WEEEWWWW what a fuckin relief

As a single and a nomad and a dumbo I spend an insane amount of my time alone

I'm always wondering like "what are other people's lives like??"

I've cut out podcasts to do a "be fully with what's here" thing and it's like "oh yeah I'm fuckin alone all the time what the hell"

SPIRALLING OVER, WE ARE NO LONGER SPIRALLING

Man I've had the worst 24 hours in living memory lol, but did a good job of feeling the feelings, just like sitting in a chair feeling shitty and journaling and etc, not distracting myself at all

Feel alive with SOMETHING - death of a kegan stage?

I was suspended from twitter innit
(I think because I've been working from a tonne of libraries and cafes and my IP address activity looked sketch)
Honestly I've enjoyed being forced to go ghost mode for a week