Alex is Angry
@alexisangry.bsky.social
Eldest Daughter & Villain in my Family-Origin Story.
Writing about what happened so it has somewhere to go. Looking back as a happy adult, lucky to have survived.
Being angry just means I deserved better. Family isn’t everything.
Writing about what happened so it has somewhere to go. Looking back as a happy adult, lucky to have survived.
Being angry just means I deserved better. Family isn’t everything.
I wish I could go back to who I was BEFORE i realized the age gap between my stepmom and me is only 13 years 😭
April 25, 2025 at 4:09 AM
I wish I could go back to who I was BEFORE i realized the age gap between my stepmom and me is only 13 years 😭
When my dad looked at me as a child, he only ever saw my mother. He spent his limited time with me complaining about the woman he spent only two years years. He couldn’t think beyond himself and so he never saw the signs of abuse on my face. He never asked. I was his child therapist.
April 21, 2025 at 10:05 PM
When my dad looked at me as a child, he only ever saw my mother. He spent his limited time with me complaining about the woman he spent only two years years. He couldn’t think beyond himself and so he never saw the signs of abuse on my face. He never asked. I was his child therapist.
My dad also made sure we saw movies he wanted to see. Even if we weren’t old enough to see them. He wanted to see Eurotrip, so he brought me (a kid) to Eurotrip. Nothing like a theatre full of men laughing and loving misogyny to understand your place in the world as a young girl.
April 17, 2025 at 8:04 PM
My dad also made sure we saw movies he wanted to see. Even if we weren’t old enough to see them. He wanted to see Eurotrip, so he brought me (a kid) to Eurotrip. Nothing like a theatre full of men laughing and loving misogyny to understand your place in the world as a young girl.
My mom had custody of us and we rarely saw our bio dad. But when we did, he’d make sure we didn’t interrupt his busy sched. He unloaded us to his girlfriends/sisters/mom. Some of my fave memories as a kid are at my dad’s office being left ALONE in the photocopy room, xeroxing my hands/face for hours
April 17, 2025 at 7:59 PM
My mom had custody of us and we rarely saw our bio dad. But when we did, he’d make sure we didn’t interrupt his busy sched. He unloaded us to his girlfriends/sisters/mom. Some of my fave memories as a kid are at my dad’s office being left ALONE in the photocopy room, xeroxing my hands/face for hours
I wish I had the confidence that my dad had in his thirties. He was divorced with two kids that he rarely saw, and yet he had the gall & gumption to find a new wife 17 yrs younger than him. You really can do anything if you just (have money) believe in yourself.
April 17, 2025 at 1:43 AM
I wish I had the confidence that my dad had in his thirties. He was divorced with two kids that he rarely saw, and yet he had the gall & gumption to find a new wife 17 yrs younger than him. You really can do anything if you just (have money) believe in yourself.
Years ago, my biological dad gave me a box full of my baby pictures. I found a picture of my sibling mixed in & he requested it back. As I continued going through the box, I found a letter from my mom to my dad, detailing her intent to end her life. Quite the gift to unwanted daughter. Thanks dad.
February 14, 2025 at 4:34 AM
Years ago, my biological dad gave me a box full of my baby pictures. I found a picture of my sibling mixed in & he requested it back. As I continued going through the box, I found a letter from my mom to my dad, detailing her intent to end her life. Quite the gift to unwanted daughter. Thanks dad.
Made it through December. The 24th was the 20 year anniversary of my mom kicking me out. She would kick me out often, but let me back in hours later because I would sit by the door. She’d always take my car keys. Subconsciously, I had been prepping for this moment. Pt1/2
January 5, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Made it through December. The 24th was the 20 year anniversary of my mom kicking me out. She would kick me out often, but let me back in hours later because I would sit by the door. She’d always take my car keys. Subconsciously, I had been prepping for this moment. Pt1/2
When people ask questions, I have to assess the situation to see if it is appropriate to actually answer or casually deflect and distract. It’s always the look on the person’s face when they hear me talk about my experience. It makes them so uncomfortable, and I’m like, ya, imagine how I feel.
December 23, 2024 at 4:26 AM
When people ask questions, I have to assess the situation to see if it is appropriate to actually answer or casually deflect and distract. It’s always the look on the person’s face when they hear me talk about my experience. It makes them so uncomfortable, and I’m like, ya, imagine how I feel.
Trying to keep it together this holiday season, since this was the absolute worst time of the year growing up. Even tho I am safe & happy now, my memories flood in and everything xmas reminds me of those times. I just wana crawl into my safe little place and eat, cry and cuddle. Feeling everything.
December 23, 2024 at 4:16 AM
Trying to keep it together this holiday season, since this was the absolute worst time of the year growing up. Even tho I am safe & happy now, my memories flood in and everything xmas reminds me of those times. I just wana crawl into my safe little place and eat, cry and cuddle. Feeling everything.
Part 3/3 … a preemie. My mom said she was mugged in a parking lot which turned into an emergency c-section. As an adult, I wanted to look into the details of my birth, so I asked my dad 1. Which hospital it was 2. What time-ish I was born? He had no idea. It was just lie to make himself feel better.
December 17, 2024 at 3:04 AM
Part 3/3 … a preemie. My mom said she was mugged in a parking lot which turned into an emergency c-section. As an adult, I wanted to look into the details of my birth, so I asked my dad 1. Which hospital it was 2. What time-ish I was born? He had no idea. It was just lie to make himself feel better.
Part 2/3- I used to love this story! And since I rarely saw my dad, it was something that I could hold onto as a young kid. Probably my fondest memory of my dad, even though I didn’t remember it. Just him telling the story was enough. There were only two hospitals in the place I was born, and I was…
December 17, 2024 at 2:57 AM
Part 2/3- I used to love this story! And since I rarely saw my dad, it was something that I could hold onto as a young kid. Probably my fondest memory of my dad, even though I didn’t remember it. Just him telling the story was enough. There were only two hospitals in the place I was born, and I was…
Part 1/3- My parents hated each other and were in legal battles while my mom was pregnant with me, so my dad wasn’t welcome in the hospital on the day I was born. He would tell me this story that he snuck into the hospital that day, put on doctor scrubs and went to the viewing area just to see me.
December 17, 2024 at 2:50 AM
Part 1/3- My parents hated each other and were in legal battles while my mom was pregnant with me, so my dad wasn’t welcome in the hospital on the day I was born. He would tell me this story that he snuck into the hospital that day, put on doctor scrubs and went to the viewing area just to see me.
Where did this begin? My parents met, had one kid, and filed for divorce. Unfortunately, my mom was pregnant with me during the divorce process. This led to a lot of problems. They were not emotionally mature and were definitely out to hurt each other. I was born and resented by both of them.
December 12, 2024 at 2:44 AM
Where did this begin? My parents met, had one kid, and filed for divorce. Unfortunately, my mom was pregnant with me during the divorce process. This led to a lot of problems. They were not emotionally mature and were definitely out to hurt each other. I was born and resented by both of them.
My dad was born on the 1st and my mom on the 2nd of the same month. It’s forever ingrained in my mind because my dad would also say, “Remember my birthday is first because I’m number 1.” Neither of them remember my birthday. #eldestdaughter
December 11, 2024 at 3:39 AM
My dad was born on the 1st and my mom on the 2nd of the same month. It’s forever ingrained in my mind because my dad would also say, “Remember my birthday is first because I’m number 1.” Neither of them remember my birthday. #eldestdaughter
Ppl don’t realize how bad the holidays can be for kids living in abusive homes. No school, less work, high stress. Winter break was the scariest time for me. My mom would get so violent. I would sometimes lock myself in the bathroom and hide in the bathtub all night while she banged on the door.
December 8, 2024 at 7:25 PM
Ppl don’t realize how bad the holidays can be for kids living in abusive homes. No school, less work, high stress. Winter break was the scariest time for me. My mom would get so violent. I would sometimes lock myself in the bathroom and hide in the bathtub all night while she banged on the door.
Pt 2/2 I would take the loaf of bread to where I lived… and I would hide it somewhere my mom wouldn’t find it. Usually in a suitcase tucked away in a closet. That was I could go in there when I was hungry, sit in the closet, close the door and eat. I did this until I was kicked out at 17.
December 6, 2024 at 5:40 PM
Pt 2/2 I would take the loaf of bread to where I lived… and I would hide it somewhere my mom wouldn’t find it. Usually in a suitcase tucked away in a closet. That was I could go in there when I was hungry, sit in the closet, close the door and eat. I did this until I was kicked out at 17.
It was clear to everyone except my family that I wasn’t being fed as a kid. Kids at school would give me lunch money & buy me cookies. My friends mom’s would buy extra food when I would go to their houses for the lunch hour. My fave was when they’d give me loaves of bread to take home. Pt 1/2
December 6, 2024 at 5:36 PM
It was clear to everyone except my family that I wasn’t being fed as a kid. Kids at school would give me lunch money & buy me cookies. My friends mom’s would buy extra food when I would go to their houses for the lunch hour. My fave was when they’d give me loaves of bread to take home. Pt 1/2
When my Aunt (who lives v far away) came into the city, looked me in the eyes and asked me if I’ve spoken to my mother… I realized that even my own family members don’t know what happened to me. Everyone really just swept it under a rug and never checked in.
December 4, 2024 at 2:28 AM
When my Aunt (who lives v far away) came into the city, looked me in the eyes and asked me if I’ve spoken to my mother… I realized that even my own family members don’t know what happened to me. Everyone really just swept it under a rug and never checked in.
Why am I telling my story now? I’ve realized that my family has been benefiting from my silence. As an adult, I know that their shame has stayed with me. I’ve had these conversations face to face, and it has only been met with hostility. I am exhausted from carrying their shit. Time to put it down.
December 3, 2024 at 7:18 PM
Why am I telling my story now? I’ve realized that my family has been benefiting from my silence. As an adult, I know that their shame has stayed with me. I’ve had these conversations face to face, and it has only been met with hostility. I am exhausted from carrying their shit. Time to put it down.
It was so bizarre how the motto in ny family was “don’t play the victim.” Meanwhile my mother was using me as a punching bag and any other family would use me as a therapist. I can name ALL of their traumas, but they never once checked in on me. Fuck them, I was a victim. I was a child.
December 3, 2024 at 12:57 AM
It was so bizarre how the motto in ny family was “don’t play the victim.” Meanwhile my mother was using me as a punching bag and any other family would use me as a therapist. I can name ALL of their traumas, but they never once checked in on me. Fuck them, I was a victim. I was a child.
Around 11 yrs old I was doing a full face of makeup every morning. One summer I visited my dad & stepmom and they made fun of me consistently for it. Looking back, I am so angry at how they treated me and how no one thought to ask WHY. I was hiding bruises on my face from my mother hitting me.
December 3, 2024 at 12:52 AM
Around 11 yrs old I was doing a full face of makeup every morning. One summer I visited my dad & stepmom and they made fun of me consistently for it. Looking back, I am so angry at how they treated me and how no one thought to ask WHY. I was hiding bruises on my face from my mother hitting me.
I was only ever invited to the ‘friends & family’ holiday gatherings at my biological father’s house- Never on the actual holiday dates because that was reserved only for his second, more important family. I was not welcome and they made it known. “You’re lucky to be here,” my Dad.
November 30, 2024 at 6:06 PM
I was only ever invited to the ‘friends & family’ holiday gatherings at my biological father’s house- Never on the actual holiday dates because that was reserved only for his second, more important family. I was not welcome and they made it known. “You’re lucky to be here,” my Dad.
My biological dad used tell me that he couldn’t say that he loved me because it would make his kids (my half-siblings) think that he didn’t love them. It was important for him to give them the safety and security that my older brother and I never had. We were his first failure.
November 29, 2024 at 1:00 AM
My biological dad used tell me that he couldn’t say that he loved me because it would make his kids (my half-siblings) think that he didn’t love them. It was important for him to give them the safety and security that my older brother and I never had. We were his first failure.
“If you don’t survive this, I’ll come back from the dead and knock you in the ass!!!” -Nai Nai (trying to prepare me for when she is gone.)
November 27, 2024 at 3:47 AM
“If you don’t survive this, I’ll come back from the dead and knock you in the ass!!!” -Nai Nai (trying to prepare me for when she is gone.)
Any other eldest daughters who became their family’s villain by simply existing and are the constant reminder of their regrets out here? Bonus points if you also became a creative/performer/artist 🥹 #eldestdaughter
November 24, 2024 at 9:40 PM
Any other eldest daughters who became their family’s villain by simply existing and are the constant reminder of their regrets out here? Bonus points if you also became a creative/performer/artist 🥹 #eldestdaughter