@albedinous.bsky.social
It's wild how different it is. I can't express how much it matters that there are trans kids coming up now with supportive families and friends, kids who don't have scarred up wrists and aching ribs.
But there's still a lot to do.
But there's still a lot to do.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
It's wild how different it is. I can't express how much it matters that there are trans kids coming up now with supportive families and friends, kids who don't have scarred up wrists and aching ribs.
But there's still a lot to do.
But there's still a lot to do.
It was absolutely a whisper network, back in the day. Orange is the New Black is the first time I remember any cis person knowing the word "trans" - the first time people outside the community started talking about us, as anything but a joke.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
It was absolutely a whisper network, back in the day. Orange is the New Black is the first time I remember any cis person knowing the word "trans" - the first time people outside the community started talking about us, as anything but a joke.
And while I thought my parents had gotten the picture long before, apparently they didn't figure out I was trans until I actually said the words. Go figure. I thought I was being pretty obvious.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
And while I thought my parents had gotten the picture long before, apparently they didn't figure out I was trans until I actually said the words. Go figure. I thought I was being pretty obvious.
I guess I "came out" around 2015-2016 as well - my friends had known for years, but I worked in state government, so transitioning at work was a little bit delicate; I literally had to share a bathroom with the legislators advocating for bathroom bills.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
I guess I "came out" around 2015-2016 as well - my friends had known for years, but I worked in state government, so transitioning at work was a little bit delicate; I literally had to share a bathroom with the legislators advocating for bathroom bills.
Right after the 2016 election was... pretty dire; I spent a lot of time keeping an eye on people, making sure they didn't hurt themselves.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
Right after the 2016 election was... pretty dire; I spent a lot of time keeping an eye on people, making sure they didn't hurt themselves.
There was a whole whisper-network of crowdfunding and couchsurfing - if someone was in crisis, we tried to hook each other up, but there were never enough resources to go around.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
There was a whole whisper-network of crowdfunding and couchsurfing - if someone was in crisis, we tried to hook each other up, but there were never enough resources to go around.
I personally took in a trans guy for close to a year - his parents had him declared *legally incompetent* largely because he was trans. Luckily, he fled the state at 4am on his eighteenth birthday, before they could lock him up. Literally lock him up. This was 2017, in a blue state.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
I personally took in a trans guy for close to a year - his parents had him declared *legally incompetent* largely because he was trans. Luckily, he fled the state at 4am on his eighteenth birthday, before they could lock him up. Literally lock him up. This was 2017, in a blue state.
It wasn't uncommon for people to be kicked out by their parents - I think most of us knew at least one person who had become homeless for a while due to being trans. Almost no one had changed their name or gender marker.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
It wasn't uncommon for people to be kicked out by their parents - I think most of us knew at least one person who had become homeless for a while due to being trans. Almost no one had changed their name or gender marker.
Most of us had no access to transition - insurance didn't cover any of it, parents were usually unsupportive or completely unaware of what being trans WAS, and it was common for folks who needed top surgery to crowdsource it, saving up for years.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
Most of us had no access to transition - insurance didn't cover any of it, parents were usually unsupportive or completely unaware of what being trans WAS, and it was common for folks who needed top surgery to crowdsource it, saving up for years.
It was probably 2019 before I met a visibly trans person who hadn't attempted suicide, or very seriously considered it. We were a bunch of kids trying to parent each other, and we were drowning.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
It was probably 2019 before I met a visibly trans person who hadn't attempted suicide, or very seriously considered it. We were a bunch of kids trying to parent each other, and we were drowning.
(Not because there were a lot of predators - but because a 22-year-old does NOT have their shit together yet, and acting as the suicide hotline for half a dozen scared trans kids is more pressure than anyone should have to deal with, nevermind someone still finding their own footing.)
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
(Not because there were a lot of predators - but because a 22-year-old does NOT have their shit together yet, and acting as the suicide hotline for half a dozen scared trans kids is more pressure than anyone should have to deal with, nevermind someone still finding their own footing.)
We didn't have many queer elders. This was fifteen years or so after the worst of the AIDS crisis, and not too many people were online. Mostly, we had people in their early twenties trying to "parent" teenagers, which wasn't always healthy or safe.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
We didn't have many queer elders. This was fifteen years or so after the worst of the AIDS crisis, and not too many people were online. Mostly, we had people in their early twenties trying to "parent" teenagers, which wasn't always healthy or safe.
This was also a time when gender norms were more heavily enforced, from what I remember. "Metrosexual" was a big term - which just meant "a guy who cares even a little about his appearance, as if he were gay, but he's not gay!" There wasn't a ton of room for gender nonconformity in pop culture.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
This was also a time when gender norms were more heavily enforced, from what I remember. "Metrosexual" was a big term - which just meant "a guy who cares even a little about his appearance, as if he were gay, but he's not gay!" There wasn't a ton of room for gender nonconformity in pop culture.
There were about three binder companies back then, from what I remember - all of them a little sketchy, and none great if you were on the larger side. We didn't have to use ace bandages, but a lot of people still did, at least some of the time.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
There were about three binder companies back then, from what I remember - all of them a little sketchy, and none great if you were on the larger side. We didn't have to use ace bandages, but a lot of people still did, at least some of the time.
It took a couple more years - about 2009 - before I figured out that that label applied to me; I'd been thinking about it a lot, but back then, there weren't a lot of good explanations of "what being trans felt like", so even someone like me who fits stereotypical narratives had a lot of self-doubt.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
It took a couple more years - about 2009 - before I figured out that that label applied to me; I'd been thinking about it a lot, but back then, there weren't a lot of good explanations of "what being trans felt like", so even someone like me who fits stereotypical narratives had a lot of self-doubt.
We didn't talk about being trans in public spaces - it was all locked communities, or better, AIM chats which didn't save their histories and which you had to be "in the know" to get into. Pretty much everyone I knew was stealth, at least online.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
We didn't talk about being trans in public spaces - it was all locked communities, or better, AIM chats which didn't save their histories and which you had to be "in the know" to get into. Pretty much everyone I knew was stealth, at least online.
But I didn't find out about "being trans" until I got online in high school, doing play-by-post RP on livejournal in about 2007. There were other trans folks there - hobbies about exploring identity and sexuality have always been trans nexuses.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
But I didn't find out about "being trans" until I got online in high school, doing play-by-post RP on livejournal in about 2007. There were other trans folks there - hobbies about exploring identity and sexuality have always been trans nexuses.
I mean, I was wearing only boys' clothing, demanding to be seen as a boy, trying to play on the "boys' team" in gym class, and trying out new, secret names in middle school. I had no chill.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
I mean, I was wearing only boys' clothing, demanding to be seen as a boy, trying to play on the "boys' team" in gym class, and trying out new, secret names in middle school. I had no chill.
I was never exactly "in the closet" - if I'd been born today, people almost definitely would have clocked me as transmasc.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
I was never exactly "in the closet" - if I'd been born today, people almost definitely would have clocked me as transmasc.
I was born in 1991, before "being trans" was well-known. I remember being outraged when my little brother was taught to pee standing up (and I wasn't), and when Mom started making me wear shirts outdoors (but not my brother).
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
I was born in 1991, before "being trans" was well-known. I remember being outraged when my little brother was taught to pee standing up (and I wasn't), and when Mom started making me wear shirts outdoors (but not my brother).
So, so, so much this. I was "semi-out" in about 2010, and the change since then has been absolutely wild.
November 21, 2024 at 7:28 AM
So, so, so much this. I was "semi-out" in about 2010, and the change since then has been absolutely wild.
If you're talking to your friends, you're helping more than you know. And take care of yourself, too. This is going to be a long slog, but we've done this before; we will make it through.
November 21, 2024 at 6:24 AM
If you're talking to your friends, you're helping more than you know. And take care of yourself, too. This is going to be a long slog, but we've done this before; we will make it through.