This is positive btw but still hurts to think abt

So should I rlly be the one puttin in the effort? Do I just suck at findin good friends? Is it my fault still?

Maybe I don’t want to keep feelin like a fool cuz “no duh the other person doesn’t feel the same way”. Maybe I don’t want to be seen as pushy over just askin for bare minimum effort. Maybe just maybe I want to feel vulnerable around someone without bein taken advantage of

I’m told I need to put in the effort to form meaningful relationships, but I’m also the one who’s always reachin out and plannin shit when the other person rarely puts in that same effort. Maybe I’m just sick of puttin work in smth that means nothin at the end of it

I just got sired on the phone today

I feel bad that young artist look up to me and then I don’t deliver. Havin me as your inspiration must be disappointing

And sure it’s my acct I can do whatever, but not really cuz if I had to rely on it for income I can’t just do whatever cuz it could affects sales. Even as a hobby if I draw the wrong thing or I switch interest then not as many ppl are interested

Havin a traditional art account with ppl expectin me to post content feels nice in theory but then I get bored or overwhelmed havin to meet expectations

I just ate like two dinners tonight and I’m still snackin. Umm welcome back appetite??

Btw I don’t think it’s clinical deficiency it looks like I just lack some nutrients lol. I’m gonna go to a doctor relax

I asked if takin iron supplements would help and it looked like a big ass yes. So I’ll try over the counter and when I get my physical this year I’ll bring it up

Before anyone say anything I’ve suspected I’ve had low iron but when I did my blood work it came back normal and I’m like ok? But also I felt like I had symptoms of low iron idk

My pits have been more sweaty ahh! I do think I’m startin to “smell” more too