golshi 🤪 redemption

i definitely do!!

thank u! i dont love doing makeup esp not for daily, but definitely enjoy its versatility and impact when it comes to visual effects! there r definitely times im criticized or face random allegations for "looking different" but i mean, makeup + editing is the closest to shapeshifting nowadays hahaha

i dont need to feel different or superior, thats why i dont wanna "brag" about these in any posts. i just do what i wan!/ do and achieve what i aim for myself. i hope some can see it, and thats enough. im proud of some of my recent works, but the comments dont resonate, so i just wanna rant a bit..

not everyone has to see what i see either, i appreciate ppl who choose to support me regardlessly of what they see in me. but just dont assume nor project, on anyone involved in the making of a photo. and im always extra happy when ppl come to me or my team members and acknowledge our efforts in it.

and it still earns with minimal costs, but does it hold up to the standards im trying to reach? we are together bc of mutual understanding and respect and value, which i hope ppl can start to see and stop
projecting on them. i dislike ppl disrespect me, but i hate it more if its onto ppl i respect.

than to prioritize working with me. but likewise, they also know if they wanna create works with value, i can see and execute my ends. if i wanna profit, before i have staffs, i was doing everything on my own, setting tripods for photos from shitty cameras and lightings. it gets the jobs done,

back to comments on my team. ive searched for years to find ppl that align with my ideal, i really appreciate they choose to team up with me too. they are highly sought after for their talents and work ethics, and can always choose to just be on their own and earn way more-

3. and just talk as if they're doing me a "favor" just bc its "free" is also dumb. quality is costly and im happily paying for it, all my team are paid deservingly with >40% of my income going back to production alone.

enough rant on the "collab invitation" that's just objectification in disguise.

but. ppl who have nothing of equivalence on their portfolio, not even a few highlights where its actually executed well, to argue that u can, yet u just choose not to. but saying oh i 100% can do exactly what u r doing is just a mere disrespect and disregard to me and my team's efforts.

ive been disappointed before when i force myself to do whats expected of a fulltime creator, and had to compromise my own values. to the point of giving up and taking hiatus. so now im trying to find balance. some are more high effort, some are what ppl wanna see just to keep the work flow.

2. not all works have to be 100% peak art. i cant swear to pump out contents consistently w all of them being how i would want them to be either, cuz ive accepted thats just part of the job. as i said, the more artistic the more demanding for all parties. and creative flows cant be forced either.

1. sure anyone can probably argue they think theirs are more "artistic" in their pov, but if it doesnt align with mine then what does it benefit for my ends then? i can choose to say no if it doesnt.

im not stupid enough not to realize the real intention bruh. i can look at your portfolio and decide whether u actually have the artistic focus or do u have the skill set to execute to my demands. or if u cant differentiate between my works' values and just-a-nude-photo, then we are not the same.

since working in this professionally, i have definitely (and unfortunately) experienced ppl who wanna work/collab but just to benefit from having explicit photos of me, and i 100% can tell and will never allow that. even when they say its for "artistic nudes" or their "concepts" or whatnot,

no one on the set would be thinking about sexualizing and objectifying me, we are fixtated on getting the lightings and compositions correct, esp on highly artistic settings, its crazy demanding for both sides to focus and get it done right and precisely.

if someone only wanna see me naked or consider it "lucky" if they get to, i will 100% NEVER work with them. im the lucky one to finally found ppl who seek and see the same values in my works, that can take the ideas, concepts i envision and execute them well, technically and professionally.

but tbh bluesky ppl have been so nice to me so far thats why i feel
more true to self and safer to express here recently. im so blessed to have found u guys here tysm ily 🥹

lock replies bc i just decided its still a very sensitive topic for me so i would still rather do damage control in case i accidentally read smth mean on a low mental day ❤️‍🩹 im not nonchalant by any means but i just wanna feel ok and accept myself and love myself, hence the rant 🙏