I really did give being a cis the old college try, really wanted it to work. Got real bent out of shape by how often my peers would argue that I wasn't my assigned gender

If I'd only known that the fast track to being seen as a woman was going on testosterone and changing my pronouns to he/him. lol

HELL YEAH My watermelon enrichment

The strange vibe of both hoping some person you once knew is getting all that health conscious fad product money while also the visceral horror of seeing a person you've met in real life puppeted by the ghost of a tiktok ad read

Anyway I'll still be streaming when it feels right and to my twitch buds I'll probably be more active in your streams so we can keep in touch. I'm not like, graduating, I'm just remembering this is a hobby and hobbies are meant to be fun 💃

I also struggle with twitches precarity- I feel like I'm gonna sneeze funny and lose my account and a buddy recently had their account robo-blocked for no discernible reason. If I'm on several websites and my work all fits on a cheap backup drive it's a little less scary when you hear word of bans

I'm about to submit to grad school and I'm prepping accordingly, plus streaming has been more stress than joy which I think leads to more mid streams. I don't want streaming to be an obligation and I am not pushing for partner. I like my edited content more and my to-do list for that is piling up.

I am making buddies all over the world man, this shit slaps. I have never found myself with "too many friends" prior to this and honestly what an obnoxiously privileged problem to have

*sees a sound sensitive monster* wAAhG

Ignore the fact that I'm out here talking like "The dark threat threatens our crew threateningly" it's a Monday

If your wondering what brought this up like three of the people I follow (not any of the buddies) are crashing out Big and I am on the sidelines wishing them a very Stop Doing That Your Gonna Hate That You Did That In Like Two Months

This isn't saying you can't ask your online *friends* for that, but I think there's a difference between dm-ing a person you've had ample normal two-way conversations with and broadcasting a personal life event's emotional turmoil. Phone a friend before you consider holding a mini press conference

I desperately want to research into the effects of functionally not having a private life online because I wager not having a separation between public/private life is deleterious to your mental health but if nothing else it's unprofessional and ethically weird to ask an audience for emotional aid