Will most likely delete later due to anxiety and low self esteem. Everything is weird and a struggle.

Feeling a little empty and lost. Not connecting with others. Haven’t played video games with my friends in over a month. I don’t have the slightest idea why. No one really checks on me. I’m not feeling fulfilled either. Life can be great, but it can and is rough on the weirdest shit.

Labels came in this morning. I’m happy with how it turned out.

Bottled 20 bottles of blueberry mead. Labels coming in the mail in a few days. Can’t wait to see them labeled.

Old watercolor yet again.. I really need to get back into it. It’s been a while.

Homemade Mead. Bought wine bottles a corker and some heat shrink sleeves to give it a legitimate look. Much nicer than swing top bottles. Now all I need is to design a label.

I can count on 1 hand the number of “friends” I have. None are in real life. None check in on me, and none are real close. It’s painful and confusing why I can’t make a real connection.

Come to the realization that I turn everything into a joke to mask not having any friends. I don’t make any real connections with others and on top of it I can’t even engage in flirtatious ways with anyone I find attractive. I’m often not seen and certainly not heard. ADHD and autism is a curse.

No space of my own in my own house.. constantly nagged, judged and lectured on insignificant things. No real life friendships, nothing social, no human connection… I’m depressed and empty inside.. sorry to bother you internet void.

Connecting with people is a struggle. Being social is a struggle. Being kind isn’t enough. Charisma isn’t something that I have. Being fat doesn’t help any of it either. Failing to be social fuels depression.. thanks for listening empty void.

Depression has sunk in again.. feeling extra low. Extra down. I have nowhere to express it except the empty void of the internet.

Feeling pretty low right now. As an introvert I struggle with human connection.

Just some old watercolor..