If you’re worried that protecting your peace from a narcissistic parent might “cost you your family,” take a step back. For something to cost you, it has to hold value. Enablers? Flying monkeys? People who watched the abuse and said nothing? Be honest: what are they truly worth?

It’s always “how can you talk about your mother like that?”

And never “how could your mother have thought it was ok to do that to you?”

Grey rock sold separately

When dealing with a narcissist, if you cry, you’re “too sensitive.” If you speak up, you’re “attacking.” If you walk away, you’re “abandoning.” Funny how it’s always your fault.

Join me on Substack! letsgetyourshifttogether.substack.com

If you have to explain basic respect to a grown adult over and over again… it’s not a communication issue. It’s a control issue.

If explaining things to narcissists fixed anything, you wouldn’t even be reading this now.

🔥 Hot take: Not everyone deserves your empathy.

What other phrases would you like the MatriNARC to translate next? Tell me in the comments!

#matrinarc #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #sorry #gaslightingawareness #adultchildrenofnarcissists #acon #daughtersofnarcissisticmothers #donm #narcissisticfather #narcissisticfamily #narcissist

Before you do whatever you think you need to do so the narcissist can’t say you didn’t do it... STOP. It’s a trap. They’re gonna find something else to accuse you of not doing within the next 5 minutes to 48 hours.

When you stop expecting the narcissist to behave normally, rationally, or with any genuine empathy, your confusion will dissolve.

Narcissists will confidently lie about how awful you are so you get triggered into giving them an emotional reaction, which is their goal. This is also done to put the focus on your "shortcomings" to distract you from their abuse. Don't confuse their confidence with reality.

Most things narcissists do will not make sense. You can save yourself some overthinking by shifting from WHY to WOW:

❌ WHY did the narc do what they did?
✅ WOW, the narc went out of their way to get an emotional reaction from me.

Want more examples? Comment your why's & I'll reply with the wow's!

You might see the narcissist in your life "change" when they suspect you're catching onto them or pulling away. It’s not a REAL change, it's a subtle form of love bombing. They don’t want to lose your supply, so they behave like a decent person for as long as it takes to re-gain your trust.

Narcissistic parents: “Stop blaming your parents for how your life turned out, you’re an adult, GROW UP! Happiness is a CHOICE!”

Also narcissistic parents: *takes full credit and expects to be praised and worshipped for any of their adult child’s accomplishments*

Easy ways to get a narcissist to hate you:
Don’t give them an emotional reaction
Question them
Catch on to their lies
Stop telling them things
Stick to your boundaries
Think for yourself
Don’t view them as an authority
Stop paying attention to them
Realize you don’t need them
Start healing

#Narcissists use love bombing to manipulate you into trusting them. You have to understand this is a fake persona they use as needed to keep the abuse going. Any vulnerabilities you shared during those really nice heart to heart convos will be exploited against you during the devalue&discard stages

Reminder: #narcissists aren’t abusing their targets in some kind of blacked out trance state they have no control or awareness of. I know you’ve seen them switch from rage to charisma depending on their audience. Only someone with real-time awareness & control over their behaviour can do this.

10 things I hope you leave behind in 2025:

The narcissist in your life
Their enablers & flying monkeys
Guilt, shame and fear
The belief that you’re not enough
False hope that the narc will change
People pleasing
The expectation of any validation or acknowledgment from the narcissist
(part 1/2)