Why hasn't an airline safety video ever won an Oscar short film? All those actors really work to appear happy.
December 27, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Why hasn't an airline safety video ever won an Oscar short film? All those actors really work to appear happy.
After months of training, my visit to the UK for Boxing Day wasn't at all what I was expecting.
December 26, 2025 at 9:00 PM
After months of training, my visit to the UK for Boxing Day wasn't at all what I was expecting.
Another year with no gold, just myrrh.
December 25, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Another year with no gold, just myrrh.
It could be worse. Odysseus kept his wife on read for ten years.
December 24, 2025 at 9:00 PM
It could be worse. Odysseus kept his wife on read for ten years.
Your superpower is the ability to resist all attempts to sleep.
December 23, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Your superpower is the ability to resist all attempts to sleep.
Remember when we all laughed at Office Space because stable employment was boring.
December 22, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Remember when we all laughed at Office Space because stable employment was boring.
Your strongly worded letter had no impact on Santa's naughty list.
December 21, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Your strongly worded letter had no impact on Santa's naughty list.
How long until we see karma? Is it next life, or can I request a premium karma package for an additional fee for next Tuesday?
December 20, 2025 at 9:00 PM
How long until we see karma? Is it next life, or can I request a premium karma package for an additional fee for next Tuesday?
Can we get an "I have a dream" remix? Who is taking on a dream of a better tomorrow?
December 19, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Can we get an "I have a dream" remix? Who is taking on a dream of a better tomorrow?
Breaking News: Proposed bill actually mad lib of supervillain
December 18, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Breaking News: Proposed bill actually mad lib of supervillain
Olympic sports are so political. Can you imagine the deals made to box out falconry?
December 17, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Olympic sports are so political. Can you imagine the deals made to box out falconry?
Today's Horoscope: The stars want to know if you felt this way before they met your parents.
December 16, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Today's Horoscope: The stars want to know if you felt this way before they met your parents.
Don't you hate how incarcerated couples always have matching outfits on their holiday cards?
December 15, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Don't you hate how incarcerated couples always have matching outfits on their holiday cards?
Your childhood heroes want an explanation of what you accomplished with them as an example.
December 14, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Your childhood heroes want an explanation of what you accomplished with them as an example.
Can weddings have gender reveal type moments where they unveil the reason for the marriage: green card, pregnancy, or maybe even love?
December 13, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Can weddings have gender reveal type moments where they unveil the reason for the marriage: green card, pregnancy, or maybe even love?
Perhaps you're single because your love language is being left alone.
December 12, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Perhaps you're single because your love language is being left alone.
Monopoly teaches kids the best way to rob a bank is to run it.
December 11, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Monopoly teaches kids the best way to rob a bank is to run it.
They aren't free weights if I can't take them home.
December 10, 2025 at 9:00 PM
They aren't free weights if I can't take them home.
Watch autocorrect, or you too might send "Harpy Bitch, Stacy" to the Jumbotron.
December 9, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Watch autocorrect, or you too might send "Harpy Bitch, Stacy" to the Jumbotron.
You always hear what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but no one shatters bones in the offseason. Real missed opportunity.
December 8, 2025 at 9:00 PM
You always hear what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but no one shatters bones in the offseason. Real missed opportunity.
Why is there no innovation in horseshoes? What if they want high heels? Or wedges since they are in a field all day?
December 7, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Why is there no innovation in horseshoes? What if they want high heels? Or wedges since they are in a field all day?
Workaholism is only for the rich. Otherwise, you are just doing what's needed to get by.
December 6, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Workaholism is only for the rich. Otherwise, you are just doing what's needed to get by.
I think car culture killed the dinosaurs. You could drive everywhere in Pangea.
December 5, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I think car culture killed the dinosaurs. You could drive everywhere in Pangea.
I have a pyramid scheme of selling pyramid schemes. If you sell ten schemes, then those people will be paying you for schemes. Want in?
December 4, 2025 at 9:00 PM
I have a pyramid scheme of selling pyramid schemes. If you sell ten schemes, then those people will be paying you for schemes. Want in?
Does the person who graduates last from beauty school get the job at a funeral home? Is it punishment for not studying?
December 3, 2025 at 9:00 PM
Does the person who graduates last from beauty school get the job at a funeral home? Is it punishment for not studying?