In an effort to confront the man who broke into my home and began destroying my belongings and violently abusing my family, I quickly grabbed and adorned my most purple shirt that I own.

Currently patiently waiting for them to notice. I’ve got this under control.

Remember when circle-jerks were fun?

“I couldn’t even understand what words he was saying,” said Steven Johnson, a 68 year old white man from Ohio who has been singing the same wrong lyrics to all their favorite (now)classic rock songs since their young adulthood.

It makes sense that ye isn’t attracted to “fat bitches.”

His mom did lose A LOT of weight after her last operation.

HO LEE FUCK..

They’re sincerely trying to abolish OSHA

Apparently it’s super woke, leftist, and Marxist of Americans to not want their employer to be able to make them die at their job

If you’re wondering why Beyoncé got zero nominations at this years CMA’s but won Best Country Album at the Grammy’s, you’re probably confused about what the C in CMA stands for..

Caucasian

The woke liberal agenda has financially bankrupt this country! To Make America Great Again, I’ve asked the worlds goofiest Nazi cosplayer to assemble a team of the date-rapiest looking teenagers he could scrounge from the Wall Street Bets reddit forum to steal all of your social security information

How were we supposed to know that if he got re-elected he was going to do all of the terrible things he wrote about in his “This is Exactly What I Will Do If I Get Re-Elected” political thriller fiction book?

Do as I say, and not as I do.

Oh, shit.. You did what I said? Why the fuck would you do that, you idiot?

I’m getting really tired of having to explain to you all every day why the things that I did are not my fault.

I blame DEI for this completely avoidable disaster.

And by that I mean if I didn’t hate women and minorities so much I wouldn’t have had them all fired. If they would just stop existing this would have never happened.

Who do you think has more worms in their brain?

Robert F Kennedy Jr

~ or ~

Robert F Kennedy

Went for a walk tonight after eating dinner.

Call that Boot’n & Toot’n.

The RFKjr confirmation hearing is a great example of why we need ASL interpreters.

Cause I’d rather shove knitting needles into both my ear drums and have to sign for the rest of my life than be forced to listen to that gravel throated worm puppet utter more than three syllables.

Everyone I know says I’m a procrastinator. I appreciate their compliments, but I’ve never felt like I was that good at it.

I could be so much better if I tried, but I never seem to get around to it.