it's not fair my mom and i both got completely COOKED yesterday and my stepdad came out fine :/ i think i got the worst of it even tho it's just my face i'm in so much pain i can't sleep no matter how much aloe i slather myself in. this is what i get for never going outside

edddieeee you're overreacting over a god damn cord and yelling about your personal problems in public again!!! shut your ass up!!! Yea i know sorryyyy i don't know what the fuck else i'm supposed to do i am 🤏 this close to genuinely losing my god damn marbles. To put it lightly

i rly fucking need to go on a long angry rant about how years of literally being treated like i'm 10 has done irreversible numbers on me and my ability to do anything vaguely resembling responsibility but it's also ruined my social life so i can't even do that cuz i wreck every friendship i have LOL

i could afford to replace it myself but alas eddie isn't allowed to have any semblance of control over anything in his life including a fucking bank account at almost 20 years old apparently

got through the first 6 episodes/half of s1. thoughts so far. i am overall enjoying myself tbh i missed these guys so much

voltron, danganronpa, and hamatora are like the holy trinity of media i really need to experience again. just to feel something about them with my big boy noggin

like yeah i haven't watched it since i was literally 13/14 so maybe i shouldn't say that without rewatching it but from what i do remember storywise it really was not that bad and i really liked it as a kid

i've had an itch the past month or so to rewatch voltron, out of all things. just to feel something. i have not thought about voltron since 2018. i think it'd be funny to be the one guy watching it in the year of our lord and saviour 2025

but like regardless the s3 rumors have gotten so much worse since the manga ended people think that + a lot of people who worked on the anime commenting on how they want s3 means iT mUsT bE CoNFiRMeD like... no. bones KNOWS it's a big deal and if it were gonna happen it would be presented as such

i wwouldn't have as much of an issue as i do with people theorizing about it if articles about it weren't so god damn misleading and clickbaity.. it's very intentional y'all aren't slick

maybe i'm biased cuz i straight up don't want s3 (for a lot of reasons, i'm planning to write abt it eventually)

thank you robin :,) it means a lot srsly 🫂

anyways that's enough of that before i ramble myself into a deeper spiral than i already have. sorry for being too autistic and also sorry for posting this shit here i'm not abt to go dump this on anyone directly cuz i don't want it taken the wrong way. i'm just sick of doing this to myself

like i'm serious when i say i'm convinced that there is smth that everyone else, even other autistic people, understand between each other that eddie just does not and that's why ven's always been and always will be the outcast, online and irl. it's extremely isolating and i can do zilch abt it

in the end it doesn't boil down to anything except for me being pathetic and a coward and i really don't say that shit about myself lightly. the more time goes on i really do feel like something about me is just different and broken at a fundamental level even from other people with similar issues

i feel like i'm completely trapped in a situation that's nobody's fault but my own. i'm privileged that my mom loves me unconditionally and will accept me no matter what i do but i'm so deathly afraid of ruining expectations that i feel like i have to escape to accomplish that and it feels gross

i'm absolutely terrified of getting on anything that's take as needed because i am genetically and to an extent historically extremely prone to misusing substances but at the same time living constantly being ill over literally nothing and not having any sense of autonomy is getting unbearable