Andrew Phillips
@abstractals.bsky.social
"Hey Siri. Play 𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑯𝒚𝒎𝒏 𝒐𝒇 𝑨𝒄𝒙𝒊𝒐𝒎, please."
This is a free preview of a paid tweet.
October 30, 2025 at 6:51 PM
This is a free preview of a paid tweet.
If you boost the saturation on your security cameras, it makes your lawn look nicer.
September 29, 2025 at 9:49 PM
If you boost the saturation on your security cameras, it makes your lawn look nicer.
Today, it was the misaligned text on this gift-shop coffee mug that drove me absolutely insane.
August 19, 2025 at 7:15 PM
Today, it was the misaligned text on this gift-shop coffee mug that drove me absolutely insane.
Something is wrong in your head, 𝒉𝙣𝒂𝙪 from Thulcandra.
August 9, 2025 at 6:54 PM
Something is wrong in your head, 𝒉𝙣𝒂𝙪 from Thulcandra.
Today's the day I first began to suspect that the Internet is ruined.
July 3, 2025 at 3:49 PM
Today's the day I first began to suspect that the Internet is ruined.
"What's the earthly use of putting a man on the moon when we cannot live on the Earth?"
June 16, 2025 at 2:57 AM
"What's the earthly use of putting a man on the moon when we cannot live on the Earth?"
Would you like to know something, you know, 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑦 positive? A $45 million birthday parade ultimately won't make him the tiniest bit happier or more fulfilled. His disorder 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑠 him it will, but the dark heart of malignant narcissism is an insatiable, empty void.
June 11, 2025 at 4:11 AM
Would you like to know something, you know, 𝑚𝑖𝑙𝑑𝑙𝑦 positive? A $45 million birthday parade ultimately won't make him the tiniest bit happier or more fulfilled. His disorder 𝑡𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑠 him it will, but the dark heart of malignant narcissism is an insatiable, empty void.
In 'The Core', just before the crew of the 𝑉𝑖𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑙 exit the ship to explore an enormous geode, Stanley Tucci spikes the camera really hard.
June 8, 2025 at 1:48 AM
In 'The Core', just before the crew of the 𝑉𝑖𝑟𝑔𝑖𝑙 exit the ship to explore an enormous geode, Stanley Tucci spikes the camera really hard.
Seems to me, if a certain individual knew that Trump was in the Epstein Files and didn't mention it prior to this current social media catfight, it clearly demonstrates a willingness to support unimaginable corruption as long as it provides a personal benefit.
June 6, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Seems to me, if a certain individual knew that Trump was in the Epstein Files and didn't mention it prior to this current social media catfight, it clearly demonstrates a willingness to support unimaginable corruption as long as it provides a personal benefit.
Thank goodness for noise-canceling headphones, or this urban mall would be an unbearable late-stage capitalist aural hellscape.
May 28, 2025 at 6:49 PM
Thank goodness for noise-canceling headphones, or this urban mall would be an unbearable late-stage capitalist aural hellscape.
I don't understand how all these mid-level celebrities scroll through their own Facebook pages without thinking, "Wow, I really am just a stark raving narcissist."
May 25, 2025 at 3:25 AM
I don't understand how all these mid-level celebrities scroll through their own Facebook pages without thinking, "Wow, I really am just a stark raving narcissist."
Every horse currently alive was born after I was.
May 24, 2025 at 3:27 AM
Every horse currently alive was born after I was.
Given our troubled online times, it is no longer sufficient to "go touch grass." These days, one must climb a mountain and touch several varieties of moss and lichen.
May 20, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Given our troubled online times, it is no longer sufficient to "go touch grass." These days, one must climb a mountain and touch several varieties of moss and lichen.
I feel like a lot of the regular marketing messages are failing these days. “Two can dine for $18.49!” Well, I should fricken hope so.
April 24, 2025 at 8:15 PM
I feel like a lot of the regular marketing messages are failing these days. “Two can dine for $18.49!” Well, I should fricken hope so.
The horrors persist, but so do I.
April 12, 2025 at 2:30 AM
The horrors persist, but so do I.
You only need to install Windows on a bunch of formatted computers and then browse YouTube to see what it serves you by default to learn what is wrong with the world.
April 9, 2025 at 4:59 PM
You only need to install Windows on a bunch of formatted computers and then browse YouTube to see what it serves you by default to learn what is wrong with the world.
It's like they filmed the entire 'Captain America: Brave New World' movie, and then purchased the soundtrack on Fiverr.
April 7, 2025 at 7:00 PM
It's like they filmed the entire 'Captain America: Brave New World' movie, and then purchased the soundtrack on Fiverr.