89 Year Old Grandma
@89yearoldgrandma.bsky.social
I’m being forced to do this by my grandchildren “for cloud.” I don’t like you shoving your godless lives in my face, I love red wine and I miss the good old days. Go Broncos!
Telling my 32 year old grandson that if he tries to take me back to the home I’ll tell everyone he’s got sugar in his tank.
January 11, 2025 at 9:35 AM
Telling my 32 year old grandson that if he tries to take me back to the home I’ll tell everyone he’s got sugar in his tank.
Telling my 32 year old grandson that if you want to rob a bank you should practice on churches, because they rarely have security and it’s a chance to get that first body out of the way.
January 11, 2025 at 9:27 AM
Telling my 32 year old grandson that if you want to rob a bank you should practice on churches, because they rarely have security and it’s a chance to get that first body out of the way.
Me to my 32 year old grandson: You know your mother’s a whore, right?
Grandson:I mean, I know you think that.
Me: You don’t know shit about dick, unlike your mother.
Grandson:I mean, I know you think that.
Me: You don’t know shit about dick, unlike your mother.
January 10, 2025 at 10:13 PM
Me to my 32 year old grandson: You know your mother’s a whore, right?
Grandson:I mean, I know you think that.
Me: You don’t know shit about dick, unlike your mother.
Grandson:I mean, I know you think that.
Me: You don’t know shit about dick, unlike your mother.
Me to my 32 year old grandson: Will you take me to the hotel? I have a date.
Grandson: No you don’t, you’re just going to buy meth again.
Me: How do you think I get the meth? You think I took my dentures out to go to dinner and a movie?
Grandson: No you don’t, you’re just going to buy meth again.
Me: How do you think I get the meth? You think I took my dentures out to go to dinner and a movie?
January 10, 2025 at 10:12 PM
Me to my 32 year old grandson: Will you take me to the hotel? I have a date.
Grandson: No you don’t, you’re just going to buy meth again.
Me: How do you think I get the meth? You think I took my dentures out to go to dinner and a movie?
Grandson: No you don’t, you’re just going to buy meth again.
Me: How do you think I get the meth? You think I took my dentures out to go to dinner and a movie?
Me on the phone with my 32 year old grandson: What do you want for Christmas?
Grandson: Oh, that’s sweet but you don’t have to get me anything.
Me: (having a heart attack) get me 911
Grandson: What? Like a plane?
Grandson: Oh, that’s sweet but you don’t have to get me anything.
Me: (having a heart attack) get me 911
Grandson: What? Like a plane?
January 10, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Me on the phone with my 32 year old grandson: What do you want for Christmas?
Grandson: Oh, that’s sweet but you don’t have to get me anything.
Me: (having a heart attack) get me 911
Grandson: What? Like a plane?
Grandson: Oh, that’s sweet but you don’t have to get me anything.
Me: (having a heart attack) get me 911
Grandson: What? Like a plane?
Telling my 32 year old grandson not to forget about me just because I can’t remember him. Then pretending to cry, then laughing loudly just to really fuck with him.
January 9, 2025 at 10:41 PM
Telling my 32 year old grandson not to forget about me just because I can’t remember him. Then pretending to cry, then laughing loudly just to really fuck with him.
I know I’m getting older when another one of my grandchildren’s friends die of old age.
January 8, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I know I’m getting older when another one of my grandchildren’s friends die of old age.
I know I’m getting older because the city-state where I was born doesn’t even sacrifice children to the gods for good crops and good sex anymore.
January 8, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I know I’m getting older because the city-state where I was born doesn’t even sacrifice children to the gods for good crops and good sex anymore.
I know I’m getting older when I call in to a radio station to request a song and while I’m on hold my heart stops for a few minutes to take a rest.
January 8, 2025 at 4:25 PM
I know I’m getting older when I call in to a radio station to request a song and while I’m on hold my heart stops for a few minutes to take a rest.
I know I’m getting older since I started living off of hard candies, things that fall off of my skin, and the occasional shot of fireball.
January 8, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I know I’m getting older since I started living off of hard candies, things that fall off of my skin, and the occasional shot of fireball.
I know I’m getting older now that they let me out after serving all those life sentences for my role in the so-called “Trail of Tears.”
January 8, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I know I’m getting older now that they let me out after serving all those life sentences for my role in the so-called “Trail of Tears.”
I know I’m getting older when I fart and dust comes out of my b-hole and a little pee comes out my v-hole.
January 8, 2025 at 4:24 PM
I know I’m getting older when I fart and dust comes out of my b-hole and a little pee comes out my v-hole.
I know I’m getting older since I keep getting kicked out of retirement homes for referring to the other residents as moppet-ass fuck-boys & jail bait bantling-ass thots.
January 8, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I know I’m getting older since I keep getting kicked out of retirement homes for referring to the other residents as moppet-ass fuck-boys & jail bait bantling-ass thots.
I know I’m getting older because those vultures from Guinness won’t stop checking for breath every time I sleep face down on my lawn.
January 8, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I know I’m getting older because those vultures from Guinness won’t stop checking for breath every time I sleep face down on my lawn.
I know I’m getting older when I have to enter my age on a website as “other” since the list they make you scroll through doesn’t go back far enough.
January 8, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I know I’m getting older when I have to enter my age on a website as “other” since the list they make you scroll through doesn’t go back far enough.
I know I’m getting older now that I’ve been ordered by the court to replace the “lil” in my rap name with “ol.” Now I have to be “ol boner milk.” It’s embarrassing.
January 8, 2025 at 4:23 PM
I know I’m getting older now that I’ve been ordered by the court to replace the “lil” in my rap name with “ol.” Now I have to be “ol boner milk.” It’s embarrassing.
I know I’m getting older because my arthritis has arthritis.
January 8, 2025 at 4:22 PM
I know I’m getting older because my arthritis has arthritis.
Telling my son’s whore wife “you look tired. Actually that’s just how you look, you have not aged well. I suppose that’s the life of a whore”
January 4, 2025 at 3:07 PM
Telling my son’s whore wife “you look tired. Actually that’s just how you look, you have not aged well. I suppose that’s the life of a whore”
Telling my son’s whore wife “you look fatter every time I see you, even if it’s on the same day, I hope that doesn’t affect your whoring”
January 4, 2025 at 3:05 PM
Telling my son’s whore wife “you look fatter every time I see you, even if it’s on the same day, I hope that doesn’t affect your whoring”
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “I need my helmet so I can ride the ol hog to the Hinky Dinky n get green jello for my beef mold. I don’t like what the helmet does to my curls but that sommbitch pig been squealin and actin up all morning and I don’t need another crack in my skull when he bucks.
January 4, 2025 at 3:03 PM
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “I need my helmet so I can ride the ol hog to the Hinky Dinky n get green jello for my beef mold. I don’t like what the helmet does to my curls but that sommbitch pig been squealin and actin up all morning and I don’t need another crack in my skull when he bucks.
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “go get my walking stick for me so I can hit you upside the head with it for stopping that nice man on the phone from helping me with my social security card problem he told me about.”
January 3, 2025 at 9:33 AM
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “go get my walking stick for me so I can hit you upside the head with it for stopping that nice man on the phone from helping me with my social security card problem he told me about.”
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “literally nobody has read that folosofer in this town except the idiots at the college that want to poison our water with fluoride and kill the jobs frackin brings”
January 3, 2025 at 9:31 AM
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “literally nobody has read that folosofer in this town except the idiots at the college that want to poison our water with fluoride and kill the jobs frackin brings”
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “don’t say guts, it’s a bad word and it makes people look ugly when they say it. You wrecked my tum tum”
January 3, 2025 at 9:28 AM
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “don’t say guts, it’s a bad word and it makes people look ugly when they say it. You wrecked my tum tum”
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “don’t let Jesus hear you say anything about any boodilism or you’ll get to find out what being one with the devil’s b-hole is like.”
January 3, 2025 at 9:25 AM
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “don’t let Jesus hear you say anything about any boodilism or you’ll get to find out what being one with the devil’s b-hole is like.”
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “you best be careful round these parts, big ol boy like you might get wrangled up and run through the chute to the knacker’s yard. Don’t want to end up jerky and steaks and whatnot.”
January 3, 2025 at 9:22 AM
Telling my grandsons’ hippie friend “you best be careful round these parts, big ol boy like you might get wrangled up and run through the chute to the knacker’s yard. Don’t want to end up jerky and steaks and whatnot.”