Seriously though. When an AI supporter starts going into the whole spiel of “pple have been copying art for ages”, and you just give up trying to talk any more sense into them. You’re not anywhere qualified to be a friend.

Maybe at that very first Bali trip that stressed me out, I should have already called it quits and not started this whole thing.

How do you actually expect me to react when you say you're sad you couldn't do xyz for her, which is effectively you saying you wish you could put her wants before me.

"first port of call"
Those words. Gives me a deep icy feeling. First port of call when her ex wants someone to fill in for *the ex's wife*. No, sorry. I can't take it. It's not the first time. If it's going to keep continuing, Idk how long I can stay.

When she said that a chill did run through me. A cold kind of simmering anger. All those moments when I felt ignored, taken for granted and brushed aside for that ex of hers. I've toned down my wants for her time. But it means I've also toned down my expectations and love.

Looking back on my Bluesky and it's all just sadness. It reminds me I've been sad a lot. And also why I've been sad a lot.

I am still having doubts about this relationship. I am still feeling conflicted about wanting to (eventually) move back/away. I don’t like to feel like I’m being kept like a pet. I kinda want a space I can totally relax in.

Threads doesn’t work as well as Twitter used to for my inner doubts and problems. Because it’s linked to Meta and Instagram and that makes it unsafe. I can’t vent anonymously or set filters.

Should I continue the app subscription after all? I really have no support to fall on. At all. Hiding my sorrows, my grievances... this feels like deja vu.

The boy kitten comes to me when I cry

Why do I feel like I'm forever just settling for crumbs

I'm here crying over people again. Why am I always crying over people? Or am I crying for me? How can I stop being so sad.

So the day I checked in with the financial advisor, she does not even handle any home loans below 300k. My home loan wouldn't even have reached that amount on day 1. (part 1)

So I talked to her about it and the worst is over. But I feel fairly gloomy still. Like the cloud doesn't lift so easily.

I’m. So. Tired.

Bestie knows I have issues but she gets tired of me talking about her too

I canceled Thoughtful. My therapist was nice and helped for a while but I don’t want to talk for a while either

I’m still kinda upset over her reaction over the cushion. Idk if she realises I deleted the post. This morning I was annoyed cos she took so long with the mesh open and the cats stressed me out

This guy I interact with online... Sometimes he gets misogynistic-ish comments from his guy friends/acquaintances, and I kind of ignore them, because the guy himself is pretty open to my liberal views when I comment. Suddenly I wonder, perhaps it's important I keep interacting with him.