i don't know where to park these thoughts so they're just here until i came back to it 17 days later

idk.. this past year just made me more on edge. i do want to be taken more seriously when i share things but considering how reserved i am then maybe some things are just not worth sharing to protect my ego

but when i do share, i just feel a heightened sense of disrespect or lack of reciprocity of not being listened to. maybe it's because it's not something of an interest to them or i'm just not able to express my thoughts in an engaging manner???

i enjoy listening, to just take a backseat and being fully present in someone expressing themselves in their vulnerable state. this obviously can't be me because i feel like i always have a guard up when it comes to sharing things.