ZenLawyerJourney
@zenlawyerjourney.bsky.social
In-house lawyer at a widget factory
Business guy: i hate legal
Me: me too
Biz: really?
Me: yes
Biz: is this reverse psychology?
Me: no I’m validating you
Biz: nice
Me: me too
Biz: really?
Me: yes
Biz: is this reverse psychology?
Me: no I’m validating you
Biz: nice
November 30, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Business guy: i hate legal
Me: me too
Biz: really?
Me: yes
Biz: is this reverse psychology?
Me: no I’m validating you
Biz: nice
Me: me too
Biz: really?
Me: yes
Biz: is this reverse psychology?
Me: no I’m validating you
Biz: nice
Business guy: please send contact for a pro bono securities lawyer
November 22, 2024 at 11:37 AM
Business guy: please send contact for a pro bono securities lawyer
Business guy (via email): copying Legal to confirm their sign off
Me: resending three risks i told you had to be accepted
Biz: not helpful!
Me: resending three risks i told you had to be accepted
Biz: not helpful!
November 12, 2024 at 7:20 PM
Business guy (via email): copying Legal to confirm their sign off
Me: resending three risks i told you had to be accepted
Biz: not helpful!
Me: resending three risks i told you had to be accepted
Biz: not helpful!
Business guy: admit it, i was right
Me: your bad argument made me think of a good one
Biz: perfect
Me: your bad argument made me think of a good one
Biz: perfect
November 4, 2024 at 7:39 PM
Business guy: admit it, i was right
Me: your bad argument made me think of a good one
Biz: perfect
Me: your bad argument made me think of a good one
Biz: perfect
Business guy: i hereby renounce any ties to this project
Me: meaning what?
Biz: I’m not going to jail
Me: it’s not illegal, just dumb
Biz: still don’t like it
Me: fair enough
Me: meaning what?
Biz: I’m not going to jail
Me: it’s not illegal, just dumb
Biz: still don’t like it
Me: fair enough
October 30, 2024 at 2:32 PM
Business guy: i hereby renounce any ties to this project
Me: meaning what?
Biz: I’m not going to jail
Me: it’s not illegal, just dumb
Biz: still don’t like it
Me: fair enough
Me: meaning what?
Biz: I’m not going to jail
Me: it’s not illegal, just dumb
Biz: still don’t like it
Me: fair enough
Business guy: is Halloween a “business day” under the contract?
Me: yes
Biz: you’re supposed to say “it depends”
Me: it doesn’t
Biz: you’ve ruined my idea
Me: yes
Biz: you’re supposed to say “it depends”
Me: it doesn’t
Biz: you’ve ruined my idea
October 28, 2024 at 6:08 PM
Business guy: is Halloween a “business day” under the contract?
Me: yes
Biz: you’re supposed to say “it depends”
Me: it doesn’t
Biz: you’ve ruined my idea
Me: yes
Biz: you’re supposed to say “it depends”
Me: it doesn’t
Biz: you’ve ruined my idea
Business guy: your “friendly reminder” wasn’t very friendly
Me: i didn’t say friendly
Biz: oh
Me: i didn’t say friendly
Biz: oh
October 28, 2024 at 3:49 PM
Business guy: your “friendly reminder” wasn’t very friendly
Me: i didn’t say friendly
Biz: oh
Me: i didn’t say friendly
Biz: oh
Business guy: this contract was terminated
Me: you sent a termination notice?
Biz: what? No
Me: you told them verbally?
Biz: no! I sent a text
Me:
Biz: fine, there was no text
Me: you sent a termination notice?
Biz: what? No
Me: you told them verbally?
Biz: no! I sent a text
Me:
Biz: fine, there was no text
October 23, 2024 at 6:03 PM
Business guy: this contract was terminated
Me: you sent a termination notice?
Biz: what? No
Me: you told them verbally?
Biz: no! I sent a text
Me:
Biz: fine, there was no text
Me: you sent a termination notice?
Biz: what? No
Me: you told them verbally?
Biz: no! I sent a text
Me:
Biz: fine, there was no text
Business guy: tell outside counsel he has 30 minutes to respond
Me: that’s not reasonable
Biz: neither am i
Me: that’s not reasonable
Biz: neither am i
October 22, 2024 at 7:12 PM
Business guy: tell outside counsel he has 30 minutes to respond
Me: that’s not reasonable
Biz: neither am i
Me: that’s not reasonable
Biz: neither am i
Business guy: we need to enforce the non-compete
Me: we don’t have a non-compete
Biz: they can’t compete with us!
Me: they can
Biz: whose side are you on??
Me: we don’t have a non-compete
Biz: they can’t compete with us!
Me: they can
Biz: whose side are you on??
October 22, 2024 at 3:48 PM
Business guy: we need to enforce the non-compete
Me: we don’t have a non-compete
Biz: they can’t compete with us!
Me: they can
Biz: whose side are you on??
Me: we don’t have a non-compete
Biz: they can’t compete with us!
Me: they can
Biz: whose side are you on??
Business guy: grammar has “rules” not “laws”
Me: ….
Biz: I’m right, hehe
Me: client communications should still be grammatically correct
Biz: maybe
Me: ….
Biz: I’m right, hehe
Me: client communications should still be grammatically correct
Biz: maybe
October 17, 2024 at 8:34 PM
Business guy: grammar has “rules” not “laws”
Me: ….
Biz: I’m right, hehe
Me: client communications should still be grammatically correct
Biz: maybe
Me: ….
Biz: I’m right, hehe
Me: client communications should still be grammatically correct
Biz: maybe
Me: you asked me the same question four days ago
Business guy: did not
Me: did too
Biz: so? it’s been four days
Me: the law hasn’t changed
Biz: glad i asked
Business guy: did not
Me: did too
Biz: so? it’s been four days
Me: the law hasn’t changed
Biz: glad i asked
October 15, 2024 at 4:03 PM
Me: you asked me the same question four days ago
Business guy: did not
Me: did too
Biz: so? it’s been four days
Me: the law hasn’t changed
Biz: glad i asked
Business guy: did not
Me: did too
Biz: so? it’s been four days
Me: the law hasn’t changed
Biz: glad i asked
Me: i explained in my email
Business guy: didn’t read it
Me: can you read it now?
Biz: no
Business guy: didn’t read it
Me: can you read it now?
Biz: no
October 10, 2024 at 5:19 PM
Me: i explained in my email
Business guy: didn’t read it
Me: can you read it now?
Biz: no
Business guy: didn’t read it
Me: can you read it now?
Biz: no
Business guy (via email): i will be unavailable for calls, until someone convinces me a call is needed
Me: like for sensitive matters
Biz: no - use Teams chat
Me: like for sensitive matters
Biz: no - use Teams chat
October 9, 2024 at 12:41 AM
Business guy (via email): i will be unavailable for calls, until someone convinces me a call is needed
Me: like for sensitive matters
Biz: no - use Teams chat
Me: like for sensitive matters
Biz: no - use Teams chat
Business guy: we can’t force anyone to work here
Me: correct
Biz: but we can sue them if they leave
Me: is that a good retention strategy?
Biz: good enough
Me: correct
Biz: but we can sue them if they leave
Me: is that a good retention strategy?
Biz: good enough
October 7, 2024 at 4:16 PM
Business guy: we can’t force anyone to work here
Me: correct
Biz: but we can sue them if they leave
Me: is that a good retention strategy?
Biz: good enough
Me: correct
Biz: but we can sue them if they leave
Me: is that a good retention strategy?
Biz: good enough
Business guy: if you break the law for the first time, you should get a warning
Me: like for traffic violations
Biz: correct
Me: but not vehicular homicide
Biz: we didn’t kill anyone!
Me: like for traffic violations
Biz: correct
Me: but not vehicular homicide
Biz: we didn’t kill anyone!
October 3, 2024 at 7:28 PM
Business guy: if you break the law for the first time, you should get a warning
Me: like for traffic violations
Biz: correct
Me: but not vehicular homicide
Biz: we didn’t kill anyone!
Me: like for traffic violations
Biz: correct
Me: but not vehicular homicide
Biz: we didn’t kill anyone!
Me: the other side added questions in footnotes
Business guy: no
Me: no to reading footnotes?
Biz: correct
Business guy: no
Me: no to reading footnotes?
Biz: correct
October 1, 2024 at 1:01 PM
Me: the other side added questions in footnotes
Business guy: no
Me: no to reading footnotes?
Biz: correct
Business guy: no
Me: no to reading footnotes?
Biz: correct
Business guy: suddenly you don’t speak French
Me: i never spoke French
Biz: we have a French contract
Me: i told you to stop
Biz: the other side says it’s completely reasonable
Me: i never spoke French
Biz: we have a French contract
Me: i told you to stop
Biz: the other side says it’s completely reasonable
September 30, 2024 at 8:31 PM
Business guy: suddenly you don’t speak French
Me: i never spoke French
Biz: we have a French contract
Me: i told you to stop
Biz: the other side says it’s completely reasonable
Me: i never spoke French
Biz: we have a French contract
Me: i told you to stop
Biz: the other side says it’s completely reasonable
Business guy: quick question for you
Me: i have 10 mins now
Biz: make it an hour
Me: i have 10 mins now
Biz: make it an hour
September 30, 2024 at 6:29 PM
Business guy: quick question for you
Me: i have 10 mins now
Biz: make it an hour
Me: i have 10 mins now
Biz: make it an hour
Me: NDAs can’t prevent cyberattacks
Business guy: what
Me: think about it
Biz:…oh no
Business guy: what
Me: think about it
Biz:…oh no
September 28, 2024 at 4:22 PM
Me: NDAs can’t prevent cyberattacks
Business guy: what
Me: think about it
Biz:…oh no
Business guy: what
Me: think about it
Biz:…oh no
Me: the other side is making a lot of threats
Business guy: yes. They’re a great client, when they’re not making threats
Business guy: yes. They’re a great client, when they’re not making threats
September 28, 2024 at 4:19 PM
Me: the other side is making a lot of threats
Business guy: yes. They’re a great client, when they’re not making threats
Business guy: yes. They’re a great client, when they’re not making threats
Business guy: i don’t want to break the law. I want to not think about the law.
September 27, 2024 at 5:43 PM
Business guy: i don’t want to break the law. I want to not think about the law.
Business guy: send me the law. I want to read it
Me: here you go
Biz: I’m not reading this
Me: here you go
Biz: I’m not reading this
September 27, 2024 at 3:12 PM
Business guy: send me the law. I want to read it
Me: here you go
Biz: I’m not reading this
Me: here you go
Biz: I’m not reading this
Me: what did you decide?
Business guy: on what?
Me: the emergency issue you had us research last night
Biz: we don’t care about that anymore
Business guy: on what?
Me: the emergency issue you had us research last night
Biz: we don’t care about that anymore
September 26, 2024 at 3:47 PM
Me: what did you decide?
Business guy: on what?
Me: the emergency issue you had us research last night
Biz: we don’t care about that anymore
Business guy: on what?
Me: the emergency issue you had us research last night
Biz: we don’t care about that anymore