Could really use some wide open spaces. A little room to make a big steak 🥩

Riddle me this Batman… if water makes me pee… it doesn’t pee because I did… no i didn’t…

*BREAKING NEWS* 11th commandment just revealed! Thou shalt not talk on speaker phone in public.

I think the world just needs to come together and just kiss it out. That’s how I solve all my problems but the WOKE mob wants to put a stop to me… I guess I’m CRAZY and need to be locked up… HELP!!!

My AC broke and I’m kinda scared.

Y’all ever just wake up and blast “When She Loved You” From Toy Story 2 and start crying? Yeah, me neither…

Despite what they teach you in school, a cup doesn’t have a hole. It’s a man-made orifice that you can hold.

Currently looking for a blood boy.
-5/10 face
-6/10 body (no fatties)
-3/10 personality
I have a fear of blood so I was thinking we can just kiss. I heard that it works the same. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY!

I wonder if my dad still think I’m lazy even though I just cut my own grass. He said I was lazy. HE SAID THAT! TO ME! I was tied that day! I hope he doesn’t think that. I grew up. I was 11! Hope he’s not mad at me. Please don’t yell.

It’s prob been 10 years since I’ve pooped myself. Every day since is a blessing