Joe Maude
@writingjoe.bsky.social
Fantasy writer, researcher of strange things, person on too many internet watchlists, and ardent ingnorer of cause-and-effect.
I'm on a train. The staff offered me extra milk for my hot chocolate. As a result of their kindness, I have just spilt milk on myself...
Dont start. I'm not going to cry about it.
Dont start. I'm not going to cry about it.
July 22, 2025 at 5:45 PM
I'm on a train. The staff offered me extra milk for my hot chocolate. As a result of their kindness, I have just spilt milk on myself...
Dont start. I'm not going to cry about it.
Dont start. I'm not going to cry about it.
I have discovered the wonders of the electric bug bat. What powers this marvellous invention, you ask? Batteries? My burning hatred of flies? No, I suspect that the charge comes purley from my hubris.
On a separate note: I can confidently say that I am winning my war against nature.
On a separate note: I can confidently say that I am winning my war against nature.
July 18, 2025 at 3:44 PM
I have discovered the wonders of the electric bug bat. What powers this marvellous invention, you ask? Batteries? My burning hatred of flies? No, I suspect that the charge comes purley from my hubris.
On a separate note: I can confidently say that I am winning my war against nature.
On a separate note: I can confidently say that I am winning my war against nature.
I read out chapter 17 of my novel, Pen and the Demon, at @leicwritersclub.bsky.social yesterday. I have never had such overwhelmingly positive feedback on a piece from LWC before. Everyone seems to like it. Everyone! I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
May 2, 2025 at 3:53 PM
I read out chapter 17 of my novel, Pen and the Demon, at @leicwritersclub.bsky.social yesterday. I have never had such overwhelmingly positive feedback on a piece from LWC before. Everyone seems to like it. Everyone! I'm still waiting for the other shoe to drop.
I want to thank my amazing trans friends, who somehow put up with both myself and systematic oppression born of ignorance and fear. At the same time. You're fantastic. And you're not alone.
April 17, 2025 at 10:22 AM
I want to thank my amazing trans friends, who somehow put up with both myself and systematic oppression born of ignorance and fear. At the same time. You're fantastic. And you're not alone.
Yesterday evening, I ran for a bus I was early for, and fell.
Good news: I'm fine. Turns out I still bounce.
Bad news: Ow. I'm an idiot sandwich. And friction injuries have no business being this mean for their size and lack of severity.
Good news: I'm fine. Turns out I still bounce.
Bad news: Ow. I'm an idiot sandwich. And friction injuries have no business being this mean for their size and lack of severity.
April 10, 2025 at 9:13 AM
Yesterday evening, I ran for a bus I was early for, and fell.
Good news: I'm fine. Turns out I still bounce.
Bad news: Ow. I'm an idiot sandwich. And friction injuries have no business being this mean for their size and lack of severity.
Good news: I'm fine. Turns out I still bounce.
Bad news: Ow. I'm an idiot sandwich. And friction injuries have no business being this mean for their size and lack of severity.
So close! Just one more chapter to edit, and I'm done!
Ha... Haha hehe ho ahah.
*clears throat
Nope. More passes to do. But all joking aside, I am almost done with this one. The big one. I'm absurdly excited to be able to share it with people.
Ha... Haha hehe ho ahah.
*clears throat
Nope. More passes to do. But all joking aside, I am almost done with this one. The big one. I'm absurdly excited to be able to share it with people.
April 7, 2025 at 11:38 AM
So close! Just one more chapter to edit, and I'm done!
Ha... Haha hehe ho ahah.
*clears throat
Nope. More passes to do. But all joking aside, I am almost done with this one. The big one. I'm absurdly excited to be able to share it with people.
Ha... Haha hehe ho ahah.
*clears throat
Nope. More passes to do. But all joking aside, I am almost done with this one. The big one. I'm absurdly excited to be able to share it with people.
Feeling warm and happy after a lovely conversation. But now I'm trying to edit one of the last chapters of my novel, Pen and the Demon.
Pain, obsession, last ditch-efforts and the looming spectre of death.
I think I might need a neck brace for this much emotional whiplash.
Pain, obsession, last ditch-efforts and the looming spectre of death.
I think I might need a neck brace for this much emotional whiplash.
April 3, 2025 at 1:15 PM
Feeling warm and happy after a lovely conversation. But now I'm trying to edit one of the last chapters of my novel, Pen and the Demon.
Pain, obsession, last ditch-efforts and the looming spectre of death.
I think I might need a neck brace for this much emotional whiplash.
Pain, obsession, last ditch-efforts and the looming spectre of death.
I think I might need a neck brace for this much emotional whiplash.
Decision of the day: Chapter 47 (of 51) of P&tD is... okay. With tweaking, it will make sense and allow the climax of the story to take off. But it could be much better. Do I spend several days reworking it, or just polish the version I have and move on, perhaps coming back to it at a later date?
March 28, 2025 at 11:37 AM
Decision of the day: Chapter 47 (of 51) of P&tD is... okay. With tweaking, it will make sense and allow the climax of the story to take off. But it could be much better. Do I spend several days reworking it, or just polish the version I have and move on, perhaps coming back to it at a later date?
From today's edit
The Bear would be low, but its claw would reach above the roof tiles. The Fool’s Cart and the Hunchback would be easy to find. Summer constellations. She’d learned them sitting in his lap, sighting along his arm as he pointed, giving names and shapes to the fields of shining souls
The Bear would be low, but its claw would reach above the roof tiles. The Fool’s Cart and the Hunchback would be easy to find. Summer constellations. She’d learned them sitting in his lap, sighting along his arm as he pointed, giving names and shapes to the fields of shining souls
March 25, 2025 at 11:20 AM
From today's edit
The Bear would be low, but its claw would reach above the roof tiles. The Fool’s Cart and the Hunchback would be easy to find. Summer constellations. She’d learned them sitting in his lap, sighting along his arm as he pointed, giving names and shapes to the fields of shining souls
The Bear would be low, but its claw would reach above the roof tiles. The Fool’s Cart and the Hunchback would be easy to find. Summer constellations. She’d learned them sitting in his lap, sighting along his arm as he pointed, giving names and shapes to the fields of shining souls
Had a fantastic time at the States of Independence festival at De Montfort University, and an agent one to one with the ever-knowledgeable Oli Munson.
Thank you @farhanashaikh.bsky.social and many others for doing what you do. Your event helps so many writers and artists grow and learn.
Thank you @farhanashaikh.bsky.social and many others for doing what you do. Your event helps so many writers and artists grow and learn.
March 23, 2025 at 1:10 PM
Had a fantastic time at the States of Independence festival at De Montfort University, and an agent one to one with the ever-knowledgeable Oli Munson.
Thank you @farhanashaikh.bsky.social and many others for doing what you do. Your event helps so many writers and artists grow and learn.
Thank you @farhanashaikh.bsky.social and many others for doing what you do. Your event helps so many writers and artists grow and learn.
Editing success!
I started yesterday with a chapter that was an 1800 word mess of confusing dialogue and exposition. The new version is 2300 words of clear, powerful storytelling.
I'm going to bask in this feeling for a while.
I started yesterday with a chapter that was an 1800 word mess of confusing dialogue and exposition. The new version is 2300 words of clear, powerful storytelling.
I'm going to bask in this feeling for a while.
March 21, 2025 at 1:09 PM
Editing success!
I started yesterday with a chapter that was an 1800 word mess of confusing dialogue and exposition. The new version is 2300 words of clear, powerful storytelling.
I'm going to bask in this feeling for a while.
I started yesterday with a chapter that was an 1800 word mess of confusing dialogue and exposition. The new version is 2300 words of clear, powerful storytelling.
I'm going to bask in this feeling for a while.
Having a fantastic week, but every time I try to sit down and finish editing this chapter of Pen and the Demon, another thing happens. Well, not today. Today is editing day.
I just need to check this one thing on YouTube before I start...
I just need to check this one thing on YouTube before I start...
March 19, 2025 at 1:07 PM
Having a fantastic week, but every time I try to sit down and finish editing this chapter of Pen and the Demon, another thing happens. Well, not today. Today is editing day.
I just need to check this one thing on YouTube before I start...
I just need to check this one thing on YouTube before I start...
I know ADHD varies wildly in its presentation, but after this morning, I think I have the perfect question for instant diagnosis.
How often do you have to (or would, if you were able to) run to catch a bus?
How often do you have to (or would, if you were able to) run to catch a bus?
March 16, 2025 at 11:00 AM
I know ADHD varies wildly in its presentation, but after this morning, I think I have the perfect question for instant diagnosis.
How often do you have to (or would, if you were able to) run to catch a bus?
How often do you have to (or would, if you were able to) run to catch a bus?
Spent the afternoon/evening making aubergines stuffed with pisto with a friend. Learned loads, the food turned out great. Took us three hours.
Good rule of thumb: if you've no idea how to make a new dish, it will take you twice as long as you think 😅
Good rule of thumb: if you've no idea how to make a new dish, it will take you twice as long as you think 😅
March 15, 2025 at 11:30 PM
Spent the afternoon/evening making aubergines stuffed with pisto with a friend. Learned loads, the food turned out great. Took us three hours.
Good rule of thumb: if you've no idea how to make a new dish, it will take you twice as long as you think 😅
Good rule of thumb: if you've no idea how to make a new dish, it will take you twice as long as you think 😅
A five minute poem. Apologies in advance to lovers of this food 😄
Quicksand in a Microwave
Rice pudding? Sounds like a bad time
round granules without feeling
great mouthfuls of nothing
chew it, no crunching
drink it, you’re choking
eat it, are you joking?
Was I hungry? No. I’m fine
Quicksand in a Microwave
Rice pudding? Sounds like a bad time
round granules without feeling
great mouthfuls of nothing
chew it, no crunching
drink it, you’re choking
eat it, are you joking?
Was I hungry? No. I’m fine
March 14, 2025 at 10:25 AM
A five minute poem. Apologies in advance to lovers of this food 😄
Quicksand in a Microwave
Rice pudding? Sounds like a bad time
round granules without feeling
great mouthfuls of nothing
chew it, no crunching
drink it, you’re choking
eat it, are you joking?
Was I hungry? No. I’m fine
Quicksand in a Microwave
Rice pudding? Sounds like a bad time
round granules without feeling
great mouthfuls of nothing
chew it, no crunching
drink it, you’re choking
eat it, are you joking?
Was I hungry? No. I’m fine
Had my first experience with VR today. It was fantastic, but my glasses seemed hellbent on ruining it. So I'm getting new ones. Not to make them better with a headset. Just to send a message.
And also because I need new glasses...
But I like the idea of vengeance against inanimate objects.
And also because I need new glasses...
But I like the idea of vengeance against inanimate objects.
March 11, 2025 at 2:11 PM
Had my first experience with VR today. It was fantastic, but my glasses seemed hellbent on ruining it. So I'm getting new ones. Not to make them better with a headset. Just to send a message.
And also because I need new glasses...
But I like the idea of vengeance against inanimate objects.
And also because I need new glasses...
But I like the idea of vengeance against inanimate objects.
My favourite line from today's edit:
'She traced this new constellation of divots, mapping her own skin like a foreign land.'
Occasionally when editing I get to add things, rather than take them away. This one of those new things.
'She traced this new constellation of divots, mapping her own skin like a foreign land.'
Occasionally when editing I get to add things, rather than take them away. This one of those new things.
February 28, 2025 at 2:38 PM
My favourite line from today's edit:
'She traced this new constellation of divots, mapping her own skin like a foreign land.'
Occasionally when editing I get to add things, rather than take them away. This one of those new things.
'She traced this new constellation of divots, mapping her own skin like a foreign land.'
Occasionally when editing I get to add things, rather than take them away. This one of those new things.
Favourite line of today's edit:
'The silence stretched like dry lips in winter.'
Sometimes, past-me really knew what he was doing.
'The silence stretched like dry lips in winter.'
Sometimes, past-me really knew what he was doing.
February 26, 2025 at 2:38 PM
Favourite line of today's edit:
'The silence stretched like dry lips in winter.'
Sometimes, past-me really knew what he was doing.
'The silence stretched like dry lips in winter.'
Sometimes, past-me really knew what he was doing.
So... I just made arayes again.
That was way too tasty. Cooking is possibly my most dangerous hobby.
That was way too tasty. Cooking is possibly my most dangerous hobby.
February 24, 2025 at 9:23 PM
So... I just made arayes again.
That was way too tasty. Cooking is possibly my most dangerous hobby.
That was way too tasty. Cooking is possibly my most dangerous hobby.
The edit of chapter 41 has fought me for three days. Past Joe said in his notes that it needed 'a few lines of description' adding, and some tidying. He did not say that whole sections would need to be rewritten, or replaced entirely.
Note to future Joe: never trust Past Joe. That guy's an idiot.
Note to future Joe: never trust Past Joe. That guy's an idiot.
February 13, 2025 at 4:01 PM
The edit of chapter 41 has fought me for three days. Past Joe said in his notes that it needed 'a few lines of description' adding, and some tidying. He did not say that whole sections would need to be rewritten, or replaced entirely.
Note to future Joe: never trust Past Joe. That guy's an idiot.
Note to future Joe: never trust Past Joe. That guy's an idiot.
Reading through act 3 of Pen and the Demon for an editing pass. It's a lot better than I thought it was. I find it reassuring to be able to track my progress as a writer through a single work. That is, until I remember how long I spent on it...
February 7, 2025 at 4:23 PM
Reading through act 3 of Pen and the Demon for an editing pass. It's a lot better than I thought it was. I find it reassuring to be able to track my progress as a writer through a single work. That is, until I remember how long I spent on it...
Dear whoever designed those plastic staple/pin things they put in socks.
I just want to talk.
Sincerely, someone who just spent ten minutes with nail scissors trying not to tear my new socks while unpacking them.
I just want to talk.
Sincerely, someone who just spent ten minutes with nail scissors trying not to tear my new socks while unpacking them.
January 11, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Dear whoever designed those plastic staple/pin things they put in socks.
I just want to talk.
Sincerely, someone who just spent ten minutes with nail scissors trying not to tear my new socks while unpacking them.
I just want to talk.
Sincerely, someone who just spent ten minutes with nail scissors trying not to tear my new socks while unpacking them.
They were on sale. I was short on time. Coming back for the rest tomorrow.
January 9, 2025 at 10:40 PM
They were on sale. I was short on time. Coming back for the rest tomorrow.
January 7, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Ever so rarely, when editing Pen and the Demon, I find things that make me laugh out loud with joy. They are glimpses of what I want my stories to be, translated once into words on a page, then again by my experience of reading.
My aim as a writer has always been to share those experiences.
My aim as a writer has always been to share those experiences.
January 6, 2025 at 5:56 PM
Ever so rarely, when editing Pen and the Demon, I find things that make me laugh out loud with joy. They are glimpses of what I want my stories to be, translated once into words on a page, then again by my experience of reading.
My aim as a writer has always been to share those experiences.
My aim as a writer has always been to share those experiences.