are you going around issuing pedantic little corrections to people's joyful hyperbolic statements? is it giving you a tingly warm feeling of potency? how bout you give yourself a vinegar enema instead

I actually don’t really care about which way the toilet paper goes on the holder but I discovered today that my husband puts scotch tape on the dispenser with the sticky side up like a psychopath 😱

Me going into Queer Eye season 9: "They replaced Bobby?! Impossible. Can't be done. Whoever they got, I'll hate him immediately."

Me now:

The way Norm Lewis ends his words lives rent free in my head 🥺

starting my day with writing and pizza and coffee like some sort of degenerate

CHARACTERS - DAY FOUR: Alistair

Ah, Alistair. Depending on who you ask, he's the adorable woobie with the biggest heart or the irritating, over-used man-child. Yes, he is indeed all of those things. Good characters have flaws to go with their virtues. Ugly spots. That is literally their humanity.