@windeggs.bsky.social
Mother Hen urged the children to finish dinner so they could make the Black Friday sale. When asked why turkeys celebrate the human holiday Christmas, she explained, “When the Wampanoag and turkeys joined forces, the Christian God said, ‘They’re assholes. You’re welcome to them.”
November 29, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Mother Hen urged the children to finish dinner so they could make the Black Friday sale. When asked why turkeys celebrate the human holiday Christmas, she explained, “When the Wampanoag and turkeys joined forces, the Christian God said, ‘They’re assholes. You’re welcome to them.”
Father Gobbler asked young hen to tell the story of the first Thanksgiving. “The Wampanoag offered to celebrate the harvest with the evil pilgrims. Our ancestors volunteered to be plucked, and launched a surprise attack from the platters. We served roasted Pilgrim to celebrate.”
November 29, 2025 at 1:04 AM
Father Gobbler asked young hen to tell the story of the first Thanksgiving. “The Wampanoag offered to celebrate the harvest with the evil pilgrims. Our ancestors volunteered to be plucked, and launched a surprise attack from the platters. We served roasted Pilgrim to celebrate.”
The Gobbler family bowed their heads before diving into the feast, and Father Tom asked each to give thanks. Young Tom leaped ahead of the queue. “I’m grateful to be promoted from the pens to processing. There’s nothing worse than cleaning up the human’s shit from behind them.
November 29, 2025 at 1:03 AM
The Gobbler family bowed their heads before diving into the feast, and Father Tom asked each to give thanks. Young Tom leaped ahead of the queue. “I’m grateful to be promoted from the pens to processing. There’s nothing worse than cleaning up the human’s shit from behind them.
Grandpa Gobbler poked at the stuffing. “When I was a Tom we didn’t have microwaves. We baked dressing in the thorax. And we served kidney gravy, not this stuff.”
Mom Hen said. “Grandpa, you’re four years old. Your grandpa complained about microwaves.”
“Just holding up tradition.”
Mom Hen said. “Grandpa, you’re four years old. Your grandpa complained about microwaves.”
“Just holding up tradition.”
November 29, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Grandpa Gobbler poked at the stuffing. “When I was a Tom we didn’t have microwaves. We baked dressing in the thorax. And we served kidney gravy, not this stuff.”
Mom Hen said. “Grandpa, you’re four years old. Your grandpa complained about microwaves.”
“Just holding up tradition.”
Mom Hen said. “Grandpa, you’re four years old. Your grandpa complained about microwaves.”
“Just holding up tradition.”
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Past Life Discount Warehouse. This month's special: 50% off pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving who died of food poisoning from the leftovers.
November 29, 2025 at 1:01 AM
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Past Life Discount Warehouse. This month's special: 50% off pilgrims at the first Thanksgiving who died of food poisoning from the leftovers.
The Gobbler family sat to Thanksgiving dinner and launched into the traditional family squabbles—who got the thigh, who got the breast, who carved. Young Tom reached for a drumstick. His sister stopped him. “There’s only two.” Father said, “Kids, there’s enough human for all.”
November 29, 2025 at 1:00 AM
The Gobbler family sat to Thanksgiving dinner and launched into the traditional family squabbles—who got the thigh, who got the breast, who carved. Young Tom reached for a drumstick. His sister stopped him. “There’s only two.” Father said, “Kids, there’s enough human for all.”
November 28, 2025 at 4:35 PM
How to keep our children Christian. It's easier than you think.
#MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment
#MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment
November 28, 2025 at 4:30 PM
How to keep our children Christian. It's easier than you think.
#MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment
#MAGA #Religion #Christianity #Schools #FirstAmendment
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Black Friday sales, the best excuse to get away from your family on Thanksgiving.
November 28, 2025 at 1:25 AM
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by Black Friday sales, the best excuse to get away from your family on Thanksgiving.
…Mom concluded giving thanks with her own litany—thanks for her husband, children and the almighty who would finally make them grateful for her tireless efforts to improve them. Bob told Beth, “Next year we’re doing Thanksgiving at my place and end this painful ritual.” #TwtStory
November 28, 2025 at 1:24 AM
…Mom concluded giving thanks with her own litany—thanks for her husband, children and the almighty who would finally make them grateful for her tireless efforts to improve them. Bob told Beth, “Next year we’re doing Thanksgiving at my place and end this painful ritual.” #TwtStory
…Ted raised his wine to give thanks. “I’m grateful that I met my lovely fiancé, Jan. She’s taught me some families can be good. I’m even more grateful we’re holding the ceremony in Boca Raton where mother can’t afford to attend and interfere with Jan’s arrangements.”… #TwtStory
November 28, 2025 at 1:24 AM
…Ted raised his wine to give thanks. “I’m grateful that I met my lovely fiancé, Jan. She’s taught me some families can be good. I’m even more grateful we’re holding the ceremony in Boca Raton where mother can’t afford to attend and interfere with Jan’s arrangements.”… #TwtStory
…Ted’s sister Beth lifted her wine to give thanks. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to pursue a career in modeling, travel, and meet influential people. I’m also grateful for voicemail so I don’t have to listen to mother ask me why I make money dressing like a whore.”… #TwtStory
November 28, 2025 at 1:22 AM
…Ted’s sister Beth lifted her wine to give thanks. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to pursue a career in modeling, travel, and meet influential people. I’m also grateful for voicemail so I don’t have to listen to mother ask me why I make money dressing like a whore.”… #TwtStory
…Ted’s brother Ralph lifted his wine to give thanks. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to attend college. It’s broadened my horizons and prepared me for the future. I will be even more grateful when my mother admits I can earn a living with a degree in film studies.”… #TwtStory
November 28, 2025 at 1:22 AM
…Ted’s brother Ralph lifted his wine to give thanks. “I’m grateful for the opportunity to attend college. It’s broadened my horizons and prepared me for the future. I will be even more grateful when my mother admits I can earn a living with a degree in film studies.”… #TwtStory
The entire family groaned when mom suggested a round of giving thanks. “Her family ritual,” Ted explained to his fiancé, Jan. His father begin at mom’s insistence, tanking God for a list of mom’s qualities.
Jan said, “That was a long list.”
“It should be. Mom wrote it.”… #TwtStory
Jan said, “That was a long list.”
“It should be. Mom wrote it.”… #TwtStory
November 28, 2025 at 1:21 AM
The entire family groaned when mom suggested a round of giving thanks. “Her family ritual,” Ted explained to his fiancé, Jan. His father begin at mom’s insistence, tanking God for a list of mom’s qualities.
Jan said, “That was a long list.”
“It should be. Mom wrote it.”… #TwtStory
Jan said, “That was a long list.”
“It should be. Mom wrote it.”… #TwtStory
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
November 28, 2025 at 12:59 AM
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 10: Generates ideas for longer, publishable stories. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
Doublemint Gumshoe
November 27, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Doublemint Gumshoe
What were you saying about critical race theory?
#DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice
#DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice
November 27, 2025 at 4:34 PM
What were you saying about critical race theory?
#DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice
#DonaldTrump #MAGA #ChristianNationalism #CivilRights #Justice
Earth’s turkeys were grateful the aliens rescued them from the cruel slaughter before human Thanksgiving, and gobbled in joy at their liberation. At least they did until they discovered the aliens thought they controlled the earth and took them as prisoners of war.
November 27, 2025 at 12:04 AM
Earth’s turkeys were grateful the aliens rescued them from the cruel slaughter before human Thanksgiving, and gobbled in joy at their liberation. At least they did until they discovered the aliens thought they controlled the earth and took them as prisoners of war.
Chandra was furious the Thompson family had no vegan or gluten free dishes to offer. ‘Not only is vegan food better for the environment, it’s good for your heart,’ she informed them. Mr. Thompson said they might have prepared some had she been invited.
November 27, 2025 at 12:03 AM
Chandra was furious the Thompson family had no vegan or gluten free dishes to offer. ‘Not only is vegan food better for the environment, it’s good for your heart,’ she informed them. Mr. Thompson said they might have prepared some had she been invited.
Dean couldn’t believe his brother Sam bet $300 on Washington in the Thanksgiving game, because gambling is a sure way to lose money. When Sam asked him to at least root for him, Dean refused. After all, he’d bet 600 on Dallas by six.
November 27, 2025 at 12:02 AM
Dean couldn’t believe his brother Sam bet $300 on Washington in the Thanksgiving game, because gambling is a sure way to lose money. When Sam asked him to at least root for him, Dean refused. After all, he’d bet 600 on Dallas by six.
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are subcontracted to a struggling standup comic in Mumbai. His parents fear he will never marry and never leave their house.
November 27, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are subcontracted to a struggling standup comic in Mumbai. His parents fear he will never marry and never leave their house.
Bob the turkey merchant complained every one in America had turned into a goddamned militant, a complaint soon confirmed when armed turkeys mobbed his porch on Thanksgiving day.
November 27, 2025 at 12:01 AM
Bob the turkey merchant complained every one in America had turned into a goddamned militant, a complaint soon confirmed when armed turkeys mobbed his porch on Thanksgiving day.
After arguing about religion, politics, lifestyle choices, and everything else, the Franklins blessed Thanksgiving dinner by being grateful they were all Christians even though some wouldn’t make it to the after life.
November 27, 2025 at 12:01 AM
After arguing about religion, politics, lifestyle choices, and everything else, the Franklins blessed Thanksgiving dinner by being grateful they were all Christians even though some wouldn’t make it to the after life.
November 26, 2025 at 5:02 PM