@windeggs.bsky.social
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by aliens who abduct you, return you, and convince you you’ve been reading these tweets the entire time.
February 17, 2026 at 1:05 AM
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by aliens who abduct you, return you, and convince you you’ve been reading these tweets the entire time.
Jim swore to his wife Jill that he never slept with Sally Pearson. They just happened to be at the Stickett Inn for a conference. Jill might have bought it had he not used the same story about Pam Burns last year. A fact she laughed about later with her lover Jack Pine. #TwtStory
February 17, 2026 at 1:04 AM
Jim swore to his wife Jill that he never slept with Sally Pearson. They just happened to be at the Stickett Inn for a conference. Jill might have bought it had he not used the same story about Pam Burns last year. A fact she laughed about later with her lover Jack Pine. #TwtStory
Reverend Father Bob Gladhand promised his flock God would give them ten times what they gave the church if they only had faith. He got richer. They got poorer. Deep down, his flock suspected he was lying out his ass, but he had charisma. You’ve got to have faith. Right? #TwtStory
February 17, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Reverend Father Bob Gladhand promised his flock God would give them ten times what they gave the church if they only had faith. He got richer. They got poorer. Deep down, his flock suspected he was lying out his ass, but he had charisma. You’ve got to have faith. Right? #TwtStory
Jill’s mechanic handed her a $2500 bill. He said he replaced the torque wheel, recharged the flammer, and greased the Spitz valves. He was lying, of course. He only replaced her spark plugs, which was fine with Jill since she lied about having money to cover the check. #TwtStory
February 17, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Jill’s mechanic handed her a $2500 bill. He said he replaced the torque wheel, recharged the flammer, and greased the Spitz valves. He was lying, of course. He only replaced her spark plugs, which was fine with Jill since she lied about having money to cover the check. #TwtStory
So, the boy who cried wolf was the best thing to happen to the wolves. Hell, he was their plan all along. They slipped him 12 candy canes and a Mars Bar to shout warnings. Wwhen no one believed him, the wolves attacked. Stupid boy didn’t even have time to eat his candy. #TwtStory
February 17, 2026 at 1:01 AM
So, the boy who cried wolf was the best thing to happen to the wolves. Hell, he was their plan all along. They slipped him 12 candy canes and a Mars Bar to shout warnings. Wwhen no one believed him, the wolves attacked. Stupid boy didn’t even have time to eat his candy. #TwtStory
Okay, the Trojan Horse was an exaggeration. The Greeks really sent an exploding horse sculpture, which was a story to cover up the fact the Trojans were drunk and left the gates open. In fact, there never was a city named Troy. Troy was a guy who told bad Greek jokes. #TwtStory
February 17, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Okay, the Trojan Horse was an exaggeration. The Greeks really sent an exploding horse sculpture, which was a story to cover up the fact the Trojans were drunk and left the gates open. In fact, there never was a city named Troy. Troy was a guy who told bad Greek jokes. #TwtStory
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
February 17, 2026 at 12:55 AM
Advantage to writing a #TwtStory No. 5: Focus your writing skills by communicating only what's essentail. Join me with 270 character stories using the x/bsky neutral tag
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
#TwtStory
#AmWriting #writef="/hashtag/writers" class="hover:underline text-blue-600 dark:text-sky-400 no-card-link">#writers #write #MicroFiction #fictionwriter #writerswednesday
February 16, 2026 at 4:45 PM
February 16, 2026 at 4:30 PM
Tim and Bob trained bears to guard their stash by feeding them weed. At their funeral their wives agreed the plan made sense only to stoners.
February 16, 2026 at 1:01 AM
Tim and Bob trained bears to guard their stash by feeding them weed. At their funeral their wives agreed the plan made sense only to stoners.
Fred fired a bowl. 'It's just a myth pot makes you unmotivated.'
'Aren't you working today?' his wife asked.
'And miss the Scooby Doo marathon?'
'Aren't you working today?' his wife asked.
'And miss the Scooby Doo marathon?'
February 16, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Fred fired a bowl. 'It's just a myth pot makes you unmotivated.'
'Aren't you working today?' his wife asked.
'And miss the Scooby Doo marathon?'
'Aren't you working today?' his wife asked.
'And miss the Scooby Doo marathon?'
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by former EPA director Scott Pruitt who whines every other minute that he was meant for better things than this.
February 14, 2026 at 1:04 AM
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by former EPA director Scott Pruitt who whines every other minute that he was meant for better things than this.
Nina thought she would make a fortune selling #ContrabandHashtags but since the real ones were free, she was #ShitOutOfLuck
February 14, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Nina thought she would make a fortune selling #ContrabandHashtags but since the real ones were free, she was #ShitOutOfLuck
Rev. Thompson kept his depression under control, but the members knew to call his shrink when he preached about departure for heaven.
February 14, 2026 at 1:03 AM
Rev. Thompson kept his depression under control, but the members knew to call his shrink when he preached about departure for heaven.
Dougie noticed Bruse arrived alone. 'Where's Karen?'
Bruce flopped on the couch and rolled a J. 'What kind of woman would be stupid enough to ask a man to choose her or his purple kush?'
Bruce flopped on the couch and rolled a J. 'What kind of woman would be stupid enough to ask a man to choose her or his purple kush?'
February 14, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Dougie noticed Bruse arrived alone. 'Where's Karen?'
Bruce flopped on the couch and rolled a J. 'What kind of woman would be stupid enough to ask a man to choose her or his purple kush?'
Bruce flopped on the couch and rolled a J. 'What kind of woman would be stupid enough to ask a man to choose her or his purple kush?'
Jim's MPD often interfered with dating. Most women were charmed when Bob invited them to dance, but they didn't like Susan's death threats.
February 14, 2026 at 1:02 AM
Jim's MPD often interfered with dating. Most women were charmed when Bob invited them to dance, but they didn't like Susan's death threats.
Sue assured Mark she was still on her meds. But she wandered why so many women were suddenly showing such interest in him.
February 14, 2026 at 1:01 AM
Sue assured Mark she was still on her meds. But she wandered why so many women were suddenly showing such interest in him.
Everyone said Sue's pot pie was the meal they wanted to take with them into the afterlife. If they pissed her off, it often was.
The prosecutor called Sue a serial killer. 'That's a lie,' Sue cried. 'I used pot pies.'
The prosecutor called Sue a serial killer. 'That's a lie,' Sue cried. 'I used pot pies.'
February 14, 2026 at 1:00 AM
Everyone said Sue's pot pie was the meal they wanted to take with them into the afterlife. If they pissed her off, it often was.
The prosecutor called Sue a serial killer. 'That's a lie,' Sue cried. 'I used pot pies.'
The prosecutor called Sue a serial killer. 'That's a lie,' Sue cried. 'I used pot pies.'
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by former Cupids laid off because there’s so little love left in America.
February 13, 2026 at 1:25 AM
Contributed Tweets for Phillip T Stephens are provided by former Cupids laid off because there’s so little love left in America.
Everybody knows the story of star-crossed lovers Pecos Bill and Sweet Sue, which ended with her bouncing off Widow-Maker to the moon. They thought the horse was jealous of her. Truth be told, he bounced Bill too and moved to Minnesota to shack up with Babe the blue ox. #TwtStory
February 13, 2026 at 1:24 AM
Everybody knows the story of star-crossed lovers Pecos Bill and Sweet Sue, which ended with her bouncing off Widow-Maker to the moon. They thought the horse was jealous of her. Truth be told, he bounced Bill too and moved to Minnesota to shack up with Babe the blue ox. #TwtStory
Juliet Capulet woke in her family crypt, having lain in a coma induced by Friar Lawrence’s potion. Her lover Romeo lay next to her suitor Paris. Dead. Overwhelmed by grief, she stabbed herself. Romeo rose and joined Rosaline. “I thought she’d never get the message.” #TwtStory
February 13, 2026 at 1:23 AM
Juliet Capulet woke in her family crypt, having lain in a coma induced by Friar Lawrence’s potion. Her lover Romeo lay next to her suitor Paris. Dead. Overwhelmed by grief, she stabbed herself. Romeo rose and joined Rosaline. “I thought she’d never get the message.” #TwtStory
Barbie lived in a trailer park on Lake Okeechobee, working as a waitress at Hooters for tips and free food at the end of her shift. Ken’s parents owned the Hooters and he dropped by every night hoping to marry her. But rich husbands are jerks and Barbie needed his tips. #TwtStory
February 13, 2026 at 1:22 AM
Barbie lived in a trailer park on Lake Okeechobee, working as a waitress at Hooters for tips and free food at the end of her shift. Ken’s parents owned the Hooters and he dropped by every night hoping to marry her. But rich husbands are jerks and Barbie needed his tips. #TwtStory
Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts. That’s what the tabloids all said. He done her wrong and she shot him. Self defense is what her lawyer pled. The jury all found her not guilty, and the judge set her free. She made a million dollars selling her life story for TV. #TwtStory
February 13, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Frankie and Johnny were sweethearts. That’s what the tabloids all said. He done her wrong and she shot him. Self defense is what her lawyer pled. The jury all found her not guilty, and the judge set her free. She made a million dollars selling her life story for TV. #TwtStory
Selena was a 300-something biracial lesbian punk vampire. One night, while trolling the gay bars, she stumbled onto Lucretia, a 200-something Norwegian bisexual urban werewolf. In paranormal romance novels they’d be lovers. Now it was a question of who devoured whom. #TwtStory
February 13, 2026 at 1:21 AM
Selena was a 300-something biracial lesbian punk vampire. One night, while trolling the gay bars, she stumbled onto Lucretia, a 200-something Norwegian bisexual urban werewolf. In paranormal romance novels they’d be lovers. Now it was a question of who devoured whom. #TwtStory