2 seperate strangers came up to me 10 minutes apart from one another let me know I looked like these guys

Finding out turkey day is not a celebration of one of our nations most majestic wild creatures

The problem with me and my gf both using birth control is that we aren’t sure who’s IUD is doing the heavy lifting

Fuck, Marry, Kill: The sexiest person you know, the most caring and lovely person you know, and the biggest asshole you know.