If I had a girl, I'd call her Miranda so she'd always have rights and someone to read to her
December 3, 2025 at 12:49 AM
If I had a girl, I'd call her Miranda so she'd always have rights and someone to read to her
I like to experiment with drugs, for example when I do coke I try out different shapes
December 3, 2025 at 12:31 AM
I like to experiment with drugs, for example when I do coke I try out different shapes
making a dog fursuit for myself, that way if i don't get into heaven, i'm dropping a big hint about what i'd like to be reincarnated as
November 28, 2025 at 3:55 AM
making a dog fursuit for myself, that way if i don't get into heaven, i'm dropping a big hint about what i'd like to be reincarnated as
welp. it happened again. i mistook another baby for joe rogan. in my defense the baby is short, bald, doesn't like to eat vegetables, and won't shut up about how cool ai music is
November 27, 2025 at 1:45 PM
welp. it happened again. i mistook another baby for joe rogan. in my defense the baby is short, bald, doesn't like to eat vegetables, and won't shut up about how cool ai music is
microdosing staying in a hotel by putting a bible in my nightstand
November 26, 2025 at 10:15 PM
microdosing staying in a hotel by putting a bible in my nightstand
fellas, is it performative to wear the latest in burlap fashion, drink well water from a McDonald's batman cup, and only listen to music if I can find it on man's greatest invention, hitclips?
November 11, 2025 at 4:52 AM
fellas, is it performative to wear the latest in burlap fashion, drink well water from a McDonald's batman cup, and only listen to music if I can find it on man's greatest invention, hitclips?
i'm gonna start a roanoke themed tow truck company. if your car is missing, look for our company name "croa-towin" carved into a nearby tree
November 1, 2025 at 8:31 AM
i'm gonna start a roanoke themed tow truck company. if your car is missing, look for our company name "croa-towin" carved into a nearby tree
golfing with a vr quest? call that a meta fore!
September 30, 2025 at 12:21 PM
golfing with a vr quest? call that a meta fore!
i'm startin' to think some folks out there are one olsen twin short of a full house
September 18, 2025 at 6:08 AM
i'm startin' to think some folks out there are one olsen twin short of a full house
whenever i get a tattoo and someone says i'll regret it i point out the fact that there are dudes out there with "we the people" tattoos that haven't even read the first amendment let alone the whole constitution
September 18, 2025 at 6:06 AM
whenever i get a tattoo and someone says i'll regret it i point out the fact that there are dudes out there with "we the people" tattoos that haven't even read the first amendment let alone the whole constitution
Hunter S. Thompson's lesser known brother, Gatherer
September 12, 2025 at 7:36 AM
Hunter S. Thompson's lesser known brother, Gatherer
childhood is thinking your nana had a weird smelling perfume
adulthood is knowing it was the highest concentration of mothballs in one closet mankind has ever known
adulthood is knowing it was the highest concentration of mothballs in one closet mankind has ever known
September 8, 2025 at 10:52 AM
childhood is thinking your nana had a weird smelling perfume
adulthood is knowing it was the highest concentration of mothballs in one closet mankind has ever known
adulthood is knowing it was the highest concentration of mothballs in one closet mankind has ever known
everyone talks about traumatic flashbacks, but not one talks about traumatic flash forwards
i urge you to think of the time travelers, to think of the that's so raven
i urge you to think of the time travelers, to think of the that's so raven
September 4, 2025 at 2:18 PM
everyone talks about traumatic flashbacks, but not one talks about traumatic flash forwards
i urge you to think of the time travelers, to think of the that's so raven
i urge you to think of the time travelers, to think of the that's so raven
i treat every ass i see like a dodge ram. i point and ask, that thing got a hemi?
September 3, 2025 at 10:26 AM
i treat every ass i see like a dodge ram. i point and ask, that thing got a hemi?
the main difference between an intersection and a crossroads is what kinda deal the devil wants to make for your soul
September 3, 2025 at 10:25 AM
the main difference between an intersection and a crossroads is what kinda deal the devil wants to make for your soul
whoever said lightning never strikes the same place twice has never been pelted with gatorade bottles
August 27, 2025 at 10:57 AM
whoever said lightning never strikes the same place twice has never been pelted with gatorade bottles
after months of really hard math, i've figured out how to harness the power of the sun
August 25, 2025 at 12:10 PM
after months of really hard math, i've figured out how to harness the power of the sun
one man's great pacific garbage patch is another man's great pacific treasure patch
August 16, 2025 at 8:43 PM
one man's great pacific garbage patch is another man's great pacific treasure patch
any music is shoe gaze music if you never look up
August 16, 2025 at 8:42 PM
any music is shoe gaze music if you never look up
While most people my age are running around in the newest of balanced sneakers, I am running around in these two bear traps I stepped on in the woods.
August 12, 2025 at 1:09 PM
While most people my age are running around in the newest of balanced sneakers, I am running around in these two bear traps I stepped on in the woods.
ever since i got these blue blocking lenses for my glasses the blue man group is just 3 white dudes in turtlenecks who are pretty good at drumming
August 6, 2025 at 3:30 PM
ever since i got these blue blocking lenses for my glasses the blue man group is just 3 white dudes in turtlenecks who are pretty good at drumming
three, six, nine, damn you fine some body explain this math to me one more time
August 6, 2025 at 3:28 PM
three, six, nine, damn you fine some body explain this math to me one more time
"do you know who my father is!?"- a kid, whose dad went out for cigarettes and never came back, looking for answers
August 5, 2025 at 4:13 AM
"do you know who my father is!?"- a kid, whose dad went out for cigarettes and never came back, looking for answers
i met a woman who called her labia her labooboo, i hope she's doing well
July 27, 2025 at 10:09 PM
i met a woman who called her labia her labooboo, i hope she's doing well
If you say beetlejuice's name three times he'll show up. If you say my name three times, I'll come.
July 24, 2025 at 2:17 PM
If you say beetlejuice's name three times he'll show up. If you say my name three times, I'll come.