Drywall is like an advent calendar except it’s year round and there are no prizes and you open it with your fists

I love Jeopardy. A contestant can discuss their cancer diagnosis with Ken Jennings and then be immediately followed by a contestant's anecdote about jumping really high one time in 4th grade.

I want to buy a house, but only because I want to have a neighbor that I can start a property line dispute with that I take WAY too far

Was Butt-Ugly Martians a real TV show or some elaborate fever dream I had as a child?

No, I didn't just blow in from Stupid Town. I have a car.

New to Bluesky! Has anyone made a sexual joke about "skeets" yet? What's that? Nobody?! *cracks fingers*

You lost faith in elections after Trump was elected a second time.

I lost faith in elections when DEWmocracy 2 resulted in White Out beating Typhoon.

We are not the same.

Cinema peaked with Sky High (2005) and I will not be told otherwise