in other news ive been doing research and looking around because i think i want bottom surgery but for real now. im not trans, idk what my gender is anymore, but i really feel like no connection to my penis anymore. its kind of just there

i really feel like ive forgotten myself entirely as of late. ive mostly just been functioning on autopilot and whatever harm that brings me i just sort of bury it and go back to whatever gets me through the day

been struggling with depression a lot more lately and for the first time in a while im completely stumped as to why. nothing has changed life just seems less colorful than it usually is. my therapist also doesn't really know what's up because i dont know what's up so i dunno