If you are not creating - you are dead. If your creations are not for the good of others then you condemn everyone else to death.

Flags must be flown at half-mast today because Donald Trump is still alive.

Jeeps with the little rubber ducks are so annoying
like we get it you were bullied in school

Flags must be flown at half-mast today because Donald Trump is still alive.

I’m basically the human embodiment of an air freshener - the only difference being that the air is fresh from my ass and it smells bad.

**pointing the laser thermometer at my head and pulling the trigger**
“God, if only…”

My mom thinks I’m a tech genius. She just called with a question about how to access a downloaded map from a certain app. I had no idea. Not a clue. I do t have that app. But I googled it as she was asking and immediately got the answer. Shhhh don’t tell her.

SLAVA UKRAINI

Buenos días, Guadalajara. ❤️🇲🇽

Hey White House!

Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico
Gulf of Mexico

My bologna has a first name. It’s O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna has a second name. It’s also O-S-C-A-R.
My bologna’s parents hated them.

I’d like to apologize for this joke.

And this is the idiot in charge of the seasons? God I hate the Trump Administration.

Renaming the #gulfofmexico to the #gulfofamerica is so silly. Like, what’s the next executive order? All tacos must be called hard-shell hamburgers?

30 seconds into halftime and I said “I wonder how long it’ll take for some smooth-brained gun-sucker to get pissed off about the ‘lack of diversity’ in this performance.” #Superbowl #halftime #kendricklamar

welp

The only place on my chest that grows hair is around my nipples and I keep them shaved.

Well, today the unthinkable happened. RIP nipple.

I've assembled a team of the most horrible perverts and criminals you've ever seen and we're going to fix this country