Max Wittert
@waxmittert.bsky.social
Damaged goods. Click someone else’s link. linktree.com/maxwittert
When I respond, “Wait are you serious??” that’s two-factor authentication
March 28, 2025 at 7:00 PM
When I respond, “Wait are you serious??” that’s two-factor authentication
A Goblin Struggles to Tie His Shoes, 25x50, oil stick on paper. As featured in “Honey.” DM for purchasing info.
February 21, 2025 at 8:44 PM
A Goblin Struggles to Tie His Shoes, 25x50, oil stick on paper. As featured in “Honey.” DM for purchasing info.
Wait I’m actually so much like a bat. Love fruit, scream a lot, mostly just hang out at home, me and my friends love going out at night, women hate me traditionally
February 5, 2025 at 6:53 PM
Wait I’m actually so much like a bat. Love fruit, scream a lot, mostly just hang out at home, me and my friends love going out at night, women hate me traditionally
“Diva down” refers to the soft, fluffy undercoat beneath the diva’s outer layer
February 5, 2025 at 5:24 PM
“Diva down” refers to the soft, fluffy undercoat beneath the diva’s outer layer
I wish it was Greenwich Nice Time. Our world has so much pain in it as it is.
February 5, 2025 at 5:21 PM
I wish it was Greenwich Nice Time. Our world has so much pain in it as it is.
Product drop. Shoe divas assemble! www.maxwittert.com/boutique/
February 2, 2025 at 11:28 PM
Product drop. Shoe divas assemble! www.maxwittert.com/boutique/
January 30, 2025 at 8:31 PM
There needs to be a Criterion for music. I need more opportunities to be pretentious.
January 29, 2025 at 3:04 AM
There needs to be a Criterion for music. I need more opportunities to be pretentious.
Sometimes I just turn on the humidifier and the dehumidifier and just let them battle it out
January 27, 2025 at 2:27 PM
Sometimes I just turn on the humidifier and the dehumidifier and just let them battle it out
She needs to figure this shjt out I literally cannot do anything more for her
January 27, 2025 at 4:47 AM
She needs to figure this shjt out I literally cannot do anything more for her
My husband has been at the brutalist for nearly 8 days now. Please, I need your help
January 27, 2025 at 4:07 AM
My husband has been at the brutalist for nearly 8 days now. Please, I need your help
I miss when I didn’t know who was a billionaire
January 27, 2025 at 3:34 AM
I miss when I didn’t know who was a billionaire
I’m sorry but slumber is gay as hell. Sleeping is for women you’re a man wake the fuck up
January 27, 2025 at 3:02 AM
I’m sorry but slumber is gay as hell. Sleeping is for women you’re a man wake the fuck up
Recipes don’t work 💗
January 27, 2025 at 2:54 AM
Recipes don’t work 💗
YES, I am a DEI hire:
Divalicious
Extroverted
Italian
Divalicious
Extroverted
Italian
January 27, 2025 at 1:10 AM
YES, I am a DEI hire:
Divalicious
Extroverted
Italian
Divalicious
Extroverted
Italian
Make it stop. Make it end.
January 26, 2025 at 10:29 PM
Make it stop. Make it end.
If I were an employee, I would never wash my hands. Just like out of spite
January 26, 2025 at 9:05 PM
If I were an employee, I would never wash my hands. Just like out of spite
I was betrayed by an udon house today.
January 26, 2025 at 9:05 PM
I was betrayed by an udon house today.
Lil outfit I liked
January 22, 2025 at 3:01 AM
Lil outfit I liked
You know your phone knows you when it changes “Moby Dick” to “Nobu dick.”
January 15, 2025 at 4:50 PM
You know your phone knows you when it changes “Moby Dick” to “Nobu dick.”
Donkey Kong needs a Breath of the Wild style treatment
January 15, 2025 at 5:56 AM
Donkey Kong needs a Breath of the Wild style treatment
Hey Siri, please present my three lovely daughters, each more beautiful than the last.
January 11, 2025 at 9:44 PM
Hey Siri, please present my three lovely daughters, each more beautiful than the last.
If they want Siri and Alexa to sound more relatable they need to cough at inopportune times and say “sorry one second—“
January 8, 2025 at 8:48 PM
If they want Siri and Alexa to sound more relatable they need to cough at inopportune times and say “sorry one second—“
This morning I shot up out of bed sweating, and had a premonition of The Return of the Cork Wedge #gayguyfashiondiva
January 8, 2025 at 3:35 PM
This morning I shot up out of bed sweating, and had a premonition of The Return of the Cork Wedge #gayguyfashiondiva