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volkswagenchick.bsky.social
volkswagenchick
@volkswagenchick.bsky.social
My ability to spell "diarrhea" without spell check has won the hearts of folks all across the globe.

Certification Community Architect at the #Linux Foundation.

Code of Conduct for the #Drupal project.
A friend eloped yesterday.
I found parchment paper on sale.

Pretty big week for both of us, I guess.
December 7, 2025 at 4:18 PM
I pulled apart half my bedroom looking for the source of a weird noise before realizing it was my own phone vibrating in my pocket. Thinking about framing my degrees under “decorative only.”
December 5, 2025 at 3:30 PM
I just saved $125 shopping online because I'm too lazy to go get my credit card from the other room.
December 3, 2025 at 3:04 PM
My phone just autocorrected "thanksgiving" to "thanks f'ing".
I am glad somebody gets me.
December 2, 2025 at 12:41 AM
“You look a lot older in person.”
-A thing a bitch just said to me this week.
November 29, 2025 at 4:34 PM
Be mindful of what’s in your front sweatshirt pocket.
Case in point… that neatly discreetly folded panty liner in pink plastic?
It’s not so discreet when it comes unwrapped and sticks to your handkerchief when you pull it out to wipe your nose in front of your new neighbors.
November 28, 2025 at 3:26 PM
I already need a nap
November 27, 2025 at 3:12 PM
Do you ever lie in bed in the quiet and think about the important people in your life? Sometimes, they are strangers and you don't even know their their names.

For instance, whoever invented Cholula. I don't know your name, but you are very important. Thank you.
November 21, 2025 at 2:19 PM
You know how the day before your scheduled hair appointment and your hair looks so amazing you think about canceling the appointment?
Whelp. That didn't happen to me today.
November 18, 2025 at 6:52 PM
Why is it that the ads on the side of web pages assume I have hemorrhoids or am need of penis enhancement??
Is that the vibe I give off?
November 17, 2025 at 10:48 PM
I really wish people on commercials would stop cleaning CLEAN toilets. Invisible germs, blah, blah, blah. I assume there are zero man-boys living in your pretend house, or else You would KNOW where the germs are.

You are just cleaning to show off, Glenda...
November 12, 2025 at 1:45 PM
Let us not bash what we hate, but empower what we love and live by being a good example.

This is hard to live by given the current state of the world.
November 12, 2025 at 12:54 PM
This morning I saw a stork by the pond. I have been really busy since then. Busy ripping out my reproductive system, dousing it in kerosene, setting it on fire, and throwing it into an active volcano.
Of course I am kidding. I an in Atlanta, GA. I couldn't find a volcano.
November 11, 2025 at 4:12 AM
Next week, I’m heading to my last in-person conference of the year.
People keep asking if I’m worried…

HELL YES, I’M WORRIED!!

I’m not entirely sure I can manage to wear a bra for 6+ hours a day for a week.
And I’m definitely not sure the other attendees are prepared for me NOT to.
November 8, 2025 at 4:08 PM
Someone who hates me gave my email to the Scientology database.
I’m getting magazines and pamphlets asking me to join them to understand true enlightenment and live in an untainted reality.
I’m both disturbed and impressed by who is responsible for this next level fuckery.
That shit is cold blooded
November 7, 2025 at 4:14 PM
Looked in the rearview mirror this morning and discovered my chin has been participating in No-Shave November without my knowledge.
November 5, 2025 at 4:42 PM
Life lesson #39.. Do not look up the lyrics to your favorite songs, you will be disappointed.

My Version:
Like Demi Moore, Like Demi Moore.
There's an urgent need to pee.

Bad Religion's Version:
Let them eat war, Let them eat war
There's an urgent need to feed.

My version makes way more sense.
November 5, 2025 at 12:38 AM
For reals typed the word “duck” in a text and my phone autocorrected it to “f*ck.”
I’ve never felt more understood in all my life.
I don’t even need friends.
November 4, 2025 at 2:56 PM
I’ve been peeking at the Florida DrupalCamp 2026 session list, and wow there are some fun ones already!
But I don’t see your name yet.
Got a talk idea about project management, back-end, DevOps, or community? You know what to do.

fldrupal.camp/session-list

#drupal #FLDC26
snoopy is giving a speech in front of a microphone .
ALT: snoopy is giving a speech in front of a microphone .
media.tenor.com
November 3, 2025 at 9:43 PM
Of all the songs in the world that could decide to run in a loop in my head, "Holy Diver" would not be my first choice.
November 1, 2025 at 3:40 PM
Reposted by volkswagenchick
A11yTalks is tomorrow!
“Continuous AI for Accessibility: Build Better, Faster, Inclusive Software with GitHub" with Carie Fisher & Helen Hou-Sandi.

Oct 29 – 12pm ET
buff.ly/2tCo7Qq
#a11y
October 29, 2025 at 3:25 AM
This is one of the best sessions of every #Drupal camp.
Next up... @nedcamp.bsky.social !!
Bring a bag, take a bag — powered by caffeine and community.
(That’s how they roll at NEDCamp.)

Saturday Nov 15th at 2:15 during the afternoon coffee break
nedcamp.org/index.php/se...
October 28, 2025 at 9:59 PM
Last night I ate a gluten-free, fruit sweetened cookie.
Holy fuck, there's SO MUCH chewing. Now I know how triathletes must feel…
October 28, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Sometimes I want to go on a people slapping spree, however, that would require me to put on a bra or there's a chance they'd get slapped three times.
October 27, 2025 at 5:17 PM
Accessibility standards are always changing. What passes today might not tomorrow. How do we keep projects inclusive as things evolve?

Join me for "Beyond Compliance: Navigating the Accessibility Evolution" and learn to build #a11y with the future in mind @longhornphp.com this week.
It’s difficult to future proof our projects for accessibility standards. We may follow current standards, but will careful compliance become obsolete? Join AmyJune Hineline for "Beyond Compliance: Navigating the Accessibility Evolution"

Get tickets at longhornphp.com
October 22, 2025 at 9:56 PM