I think back to simpler times, when Bernie was running against Hillary and a white dove came and landed right on Bernie's lectern as he was doing a stump speech and at the same time in another city Hillary coughed up an owl pellet.

I am sick of jokes about picking bulbasaur. Venusaur dominated Kanto and the first 150. Charmander? A fire type? FIRE SUCKED IN GEN 1.

Chad losers that went on to buy Fifa and codblops every year started charmander. People that vote conservative and don't put trolleys back picked charmander

I like to play hard, thick and abusive electronic music while holding my dog up and saying 'so you think you have what it takes to get into Berghain' in a very bad German accent

That's fundamentally who i am as a person

It's so unfair when you have bad gut pain and hot squits and you've been eating good and drinking water

Like what's it all for if the end result is the same as canned chilli and 6 litres of coke?

There are few things in life as charming and whimsical as a dog's snort of outrage when you ask them to move off your pillow