Val 🪽
banner
valkyrieforhire.bsky.social
Val 🪽
@valkyrieforhire.bsky.social
I'm stubborn, smart, snarky, savvy, and self-assured. I'm also pragmatic about my crazy and have a penchant for fire.
TikTok @ValkyrieForHire
Venmo @ValkyrieForHire
I’m reading Nobody’s Girl, Virginia Roberts Giuffre’s memoir. I have 80 pages left to finish.

I believe her. Release the Epstein files. All of them, unredacted. I don’t care who is in them. Hold everyone accountable.
November 12, 2025 at 7:01 PM
Reposted by Val 🪽
PORTLAND: “The frogs are multiplying”

(#NotAWarZone Noem Matter what Kristi says)
October 10, 2025 at 1:22 PM
What this country needs right now is a large dose of Epsteinaminophen 💊
October 8, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Hot Take on requests for a “country Super Bowl Halftime”

I hope Bad Bunny invites Shaboozey to perform the Bar Song 😈🖕🏼
October 1, 2025 at 9:35 PM
Anyone with a lakefront house need me to check on your pets after the rapture? DM me your address and access code plz or just leave the key under the flower pot 🙏🏻
September 22, 2025 at 11:12 PM
Slept like a baby despite several people damming my soul to hell #executivelevel
September 11, 2025 at 3:04 PM
September 11, 2025 at 2:59 AM
I desperately need a vacation from just every single thing right now 😢
August 12, 2025 at 7:03 PM
Who is the woman in the front row of the WNBA Skills Challenge wearing the shirt that says “Women Leaders Belong in Every Room” ? #WNBA
July 19, 2025 at 12:23 AM
I’m rooting for the ketamine in Elon’s system like it’s a triple crown contender.
June 5, 2025 at 8:58 PM
Defense Sec. Hegeseth has ordered the Navy to rename the USNS Harvey Milk. Defense officials have said the timing of this name strike was deliberate and intentional.
June 3, 2025 at 8:25 PM
IYKYK
feels like this was the music they should've used to announce him
May 9, 2025 at 2:16 AM
Putting ketchup on a hot dog is now a cardinal sin #popeleoxiv
May 8, 2025 at 9:49 PM
All very good questions. #tariffs
April 13, 2025 at 3:52 PM
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
On a case by case basis. #thehandmaidstale
April 8, 2025 at 8:35 PM
Cue the howling about the Super Bowl Haltime show.
February 10, 2025 at 1:30 AM
Same.
If you're with ICE or any other authority targeting innocent migrants, don't expect cooperation from me. Your failure is a blessing for humanity. I hope your job is soul-draining. I am actively rooting for your anxiety and frustration. I would rather gargle broken glass than make your life easier.
January 29, 2025 at 9:12 PM
Has anyone found a healthy balance between staying informed and not losing their god damned mind?
The Whitehouse is not stupid or incompetent. They’re malicious. This entire freeze has been nothing but a trial to see how far they can go and how far the backlash will be. The chaos and confusion is the point. It’s nothing but blinders to distract you.

Move accordingly.
January 29, 2025 at 9:08 PM
Defending-Women-from-Gender-Ideology-Extremism-and-Restoring-Biological-Truth-to-the-Federal-Government. On the White House website.

Are we taking our cues from the 1990s-era Taliban? Because I remember the Ministry-for-the-Propagation-of-Virtue-and-the-Prevention-of-Vice.
January 23, 2025 at 4:31 AM
I’m going to tell people this was Elon Musk #inaugurationday
How’s everyone’s Inauguration Day going
January 20, 2025 at 7:05 PM
Go open TikTok right now and tell me who is the first to come up on your fyp @sea-ya-later.bsky.social and @emilydubious.bsky.social
January 19, 2025 at 6:53 PM
When the mittens come for you…
January 19, 2025 at 4:38 PM
Honestly.
January 18, 2025 at 5:50 PM
Heads up, USAA app is fucky right now.
January 17, 2025 at 9:21 PM