Tonic water is the blue cheese of the sparkling waters.

I remember when burnout was just something cars did to impress other cars

I love wearing platform heels. They're like a portable poop stool.

You're in his dms. I'll see you there. We're starting a group chat to schedule our next threesome.

One must be careful when playing God with their microbiome

(i have thrush)

I wish cum tasted like creme soda

Maybe it was the cums we made along the way