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Soccer Moms Reclassified as Terrorist Organization by DHS
Soccer Moms Reclassified as Terrorist Organization by DHS - Unsourced News
In an urgent late-night press release, DHS announced it is reclassifying “Soccer Moms” as a domestic terrorist organization.
unsourcednews.com
January 8, 2026 at 3:01 PM
Soccer Moms Reclassified as Terrorist Organization by DHS
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover - Unsourced News
President Trump described his interest in Greenland as “a very proud American tradition” of taking land from Indigenous people.
unsourcednews.com
January 7, 2026 at 4:00 PM
Trump Cites Time-Honored American Tradition of Stealing Land from Native People as Justification for Greenland Takeover
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole - Unsourced News
Americans gathered this week to joyfully observe January 6th by smashing, screaming, and the beating of law enforcement officers.
unsourcednews.com
January 6, 2026 at 4:13 PM
Americans Gather to Celebrate January 6th Holiday with Festive Window Smashing, Screaming at Paintings, and Annual Beating of Law Enforcement Officers with a Flag Pole
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge - Unsourced News
The CDC announced Tuesday that it is reducing the childhood series of 17 vaccines to three shots of tequila and a lime wedge
unsourcednews.com
January 6, 2026 at 2:25 PM
CDC Reduces Childhood Immunization Requirements from 17 Shots to 3 Shots of Tequila and a Lime Wedge
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place - Unsourced News
Tim Walz announced that he would be exiting politics, prompting Republicans to search for a candidate controversial enough to replace him.
unsourcednews.com
January 5, 2026 at 4:59 PM
Tim Walz to Exit Politics Amid Controversy; Republicans Seek Out Candidate Controversial Enough to Take His Place
Insiders Say Trump Began Fixating on Maduro’s Presidency After Learning it Was Only 13 Years Old
Insiders Say Trump Began Fixating on Maduro's Presidency After Learning it Was Only 13 Years Old - Unsourced News
According to senior officials, Trump’s eyes glazed over when he was informed that Maduro’s Presidency is currently entering its 13th year.
unsourcednews.com
January 5, 2026 at 3:47 PM
Insiders Say Trump Began Fixating on Maduro’s Presidency After Learning it Was Only 13 Years Old
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy - Unsourced News
In an effort to “restore civility,” newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani has required all conversations conducted at or below a gentle whisper
unsourcednews.com
January 2, 2026 at 7:04 PM
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy
Doctors Confirm Trump Takes Non-Lethal Dose of Lead Each Morning for Brain Hardening
Doctors Confirm Trump Takes Non-Lethal Dose of Lead Each Morning for Brain Hardening - Unsourced News
A team of physicians confirmed that Donald Trump begins each day by ingesting aspirin and a carefully measured, non-lethal dose of lead.
unsourcednews.com
January 2, 2026 at 6:44 PM
Doctors Confirm Trump Takes Non-Lethal Dose of Lead Each Morning for Brain Hardening
Ghislaine Maxwell Remains Unquestioned as DoJ Asks Literally Anyone Else About Epstein Case
Ghislaine Maxwell Remains Unquestioned as DoJ Asks Literally Anyone Else About Epstein Case - Unsourced News
The DoJ confirmed that it has interviewed everyone connected to the Epstein case except the one person who was verifiably there for all of it.
unsourcednews.com
January 2, 2026 at 4:02 PM
Ghislaine Maxwell Remains Unquestioned as DoJ Asks Literally Anyone Else About Epstein Case
Nation Rings in New Year With Hope, 2026 Cracks Knuckles and Says “Hold My Beer”
Nation Rings in New Year With Hope, 2026 Cracks Knuckles and Says “Hold My Beer” - Unsourced News
As fireworks lit up the sky, millions of Americans pretended that the calendar represented a moral reset. Then 2026 cracked its knuckles.
unsourcednews.com
December 31, 2025 at 5:26 PM
Nation Rings in New Year With Hope, 2026 Cracks Knuckles and Says “Hold My Beer”
Nicki Minaj’s Publicist Resigns, Citing “A Sudden Desire to Ever Work Again”
Nicki Minaj’s Publicist Resigns, Citing “A Sudden Desire to Ever Work Again” - Unsourced News
Nicki Minaj’s longtime publicist confirmed her resignation, explaining she'd “reached the absolute limit of what a human résumé can survive.”
unsourcednews.com
December 30, 2025 at 4:48 PM
Nicki Minaj’s Publicist Resigns, Citing “A Sudden Desire to Ever Work Again”
Cabinet Meeting Runs Smoothly After Aides Take Turns Moving President’s Arms to Simulate Engagement
Cabinet Meeting Runs Smoothly After Aides Take Turns Moving President’s Arms to Simulate Engagement - Unsourced News
The latest Cabinet meeting ran “without incident” after senior aides implemented a rotating arm-movement schedule to give the appearance that President Trump was actively participating.
unsourcednews.com
December 29, 2025 at 5:06 PM
Cabinet Meeting Runs Smoothly After Aides Take Turns Moving President’s Arms to Simulate Engagement
Aaron Rodgers Says Fans Lack the Football IQ to Appreciate Why He Choked Again
Aaron Rodgers Says Fans Lack the Football IQ to Appreciate Why He Choked Again - Unsourced News
After the loss, Aaron Rodgers patiently explained that the real problem was the intellectual limitations of everyone watching.
unsourcednews.com
December 29, 2025 at 4:40 PM
Aaron Rodgers Says Fans Lack the Football IQ to Appreciate Why He Choked Again
Poll Finds Majority of Americans Think Boxing Day Celebrates Jake Paul’s Jaw Being Wired Shut
Poll Finds Majority of Americans Think Boxing Day Celebrates Jake Paul’s Jaw Being Wired Shut - Unsourced News
A new poll found that a majority of Americans now believe Boxing Day exists to commemorate the moment Jake Paul had his jaw was wired shut.
unsourcednews.com
December 26, 2025 at 7:12 PM
Poll Finds Majority of Americans Think Boxing Day Celebrates Jake Paul’s Jaw Being Wired Shut
“Let us be very clear,” said a DOJ spokesperson, “There are naughty people. We know who they are. Santa knows who they are. What matters is that you do not.”
Christmas Confusion as DoJ Redacts Entirety of Santa's Naughty List - Unsourced News
The Department of Justice confirmed Tuesday that it has responsibly redacted every single name from Santa Claus’s Naughty List.
unsourcednews.com
December 24, 2025 at 10:21 PM
“Let us be very clear,” said a DOJ spokesperson, “There are naughty people. We know who they are. Santa knows who they are. What matters is that you do not.”
Local Family’s Christmas Photo Captures Exact Moment Uncle Was Banned from Future Gatherings
Local Family’s Christmas Photo Captures Exact Moment Uncle Was Banned from Future Gatherings - Unsourced News
The Henderson family thought they had finally nailed it this year's Christmas card: until they noticed Uncle Gary in the background
unsourcednews.com
December 24, 2025 at 4:01 PM
Local Family’s Christmas Photo Captures Exact Moment Uncle Was Banned from Future Gatherings
White House Sources Say Trump Shocked to Learn Greenland Is Not, In Fact, Bigger Than Africa
White House Sources Say Trump Shocked to Learn Greenland Is Not, In Fact, Bigger Than Africa - Unsourced News
President Trump was “visibly shaken” after learning that Greenland is not bigger than Africa, despite dominating half of every classroom map.
unsourcednews.com
December 23, 2025 at 1:29 PM
White House Sources Say Trump Shocked to Learn Greenland Is Not, In Fact, Bigger Than Africa
CBS News to Drop "C" in Network Rebrand
CBS News to Drop "C" in Network Rebrand - Unsourced News
As part of their new direction under Bari Weiss, CBS News has announced it will drop the “C” from its name as part of a sweeping rebrand.
unsourcednews.com
December 22, 2025 at 3:53 PM
CBS News to Drop "C" in Network Rebrand
Trump Calls for Release of Both Pages of the Epstein File That Don’t Mention His Name
Trump Calls for Release of Both Pages of the Epstein File That Don't Mention His Name - Unsourced News
President Donald Trump has called for the full release of the two Epstein File pages that allegedly do not mention him.
unsourcednews.com
December 21, 2025 at 2:59 PM
Trump Calls for Release of Both Pages of the Epstein File That Don’t Mention His Name
Trump Announces ‘Patriot Games’, Where Children Will Compete for Lower Gas Prices, Basic Healthcare, and Affordable Eggs
Trump Announces 'Patriot Games', Where Children Will Compete for Lower Gas Prices, Basic Healthcare, and Affordable Eggs - Unsourced News
The White House announced the Patriot Games, a televised competition where American kids will battle for basic elements of democratic society
unsourcednews.com
December 19, 2025 at 2:41 PM
Trump Announces ‘Patriot Games’, Where Children Will Compete for Lower Gas Prices, Basic Healthcare, and Affordable Eggs
Dr. Oz Says Making Testicles Still Significantly Easier Than Growing a Pair
Dr. Oz Says Making Testicles Still Significantly Easier Than Growing a Pair - Unsourced News
Dr. Oz reassured Americans that, although quite expensive, making testicles still remains “significantly easier than growing a pair.”
unsourcednews.com
December 19, 2025 at 2:09 PM
Dr. Oz Says Making Testicles Still Significantly Easier Than Growing a Pair
Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical
Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical - Unsourced News
Officials at the Kennedy Center expressed “deep disappointment” this week after ticket sales plummeted for Apprentice: The Musical
unsourcednews.com
December 18, 2025 at 7:44 PM
Kennedy Center Perplexed by Lagging Ticket Sales After Audience Held Captive and Forced to Watch Apprentice Musical
CBS News Head Bari Weiss Set to Moderate Unbiased Town Hall Called “Why the Left Is Always Wrong”
CBS News Head Bari Weiss Set to Moderate Unbiased Town Hall Called "Why the Left Is Always Wrong" - Unsourced News
CBS News announced a new town hall moderated by network head Bari Weiss, tentatively titled Why the Left Is Wrong About Everything.
unsourcednews.com
December 18, 2025 at 6:56 PM
CBS News Head Bari Weiss Set to Moderate Unbiased Town Hall Called “Why the Left Is Always Wrong”
James Cameron Says ‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Spent Extra $1 Billion “To Really Nail the Ferns”
James Cameron Says 'Avatar: Fire and Ash' Spent Extra $1 Billion "To Really Nail the Ferns" - Unsourced News
James Cameron said that Avatar: Fire and Ash went $1 billion over budget after the director realized the ferns “weren’t convincing enough.”
unsourcednews.com
December 18, 2025 at 3:19 PM
James Cameron Says ‘Avatar: Fire and Ash’ Spent Extra $1 Billion “To Really Nail the Ferns”
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy - Unsourced News
In an effort to “restore civility,” newly elected Mayor Zohran Mamdani has required all conversations conducted at or below a gentle whisper
unsourcednews.com
December 18, 2025 at 2:53 PM
City Hall Reports Strange Quiet After Mamdani Enacts “No Talking Above Whisper Level” Policy