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Unsourced News
@unsourcednews.com
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Satire, humor, and fake news. You heard it here first. Because we made it all up. Please like, follow, and share so we can keep you UN-informed. #satire #humor #parody

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Hated by Liberals for Years, Marjorie Taylor Greene Suddenly Needs Security After Being Hated by MAGA for a Day
#satire #humor #MTG #Trump #politicalsatire
Hated by Liberals for Years, Marjorie Taylor Greene Suddenly Needs Security After Being Hated by MAGA for a Day - Unsourced News
Representative Marjorie Taylor Greene has hired a full security detail after a single, terrifying day of disapproval from the MAGA base
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November 18, 2025 at 3:11 PM
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White House Unveils New Economic Plan: Read All Charts Upside Down #satire #humor #economy
White House Unveils New Economic Plan: Read All Charts Upside Down - Unsourced News
The White House today announced its groundbreaking new economic plan to read all data charts will be read upside down.
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November 17, 2025 at 4:36 PM
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Trump Calls for Release of Both Pages of the Epstein File That Don’t Mention His Name #Satire #humor #EpsteinFiles
Trump Calls for Release of Both Pages of the Epstein File That Don't Mention His Name - Unsourced News
President Donald Trump has called for the full release of the two Epstein File pages that allegedly do not mention him.
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November 17, 2025 at 2:31 PM
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Disney+ Unveils $89 ‘Ad-Free, Content-Free’ Subscription Tier for Subscribers Who Forgot to Cancel
#satire #parody #humor
Disney+ Unveils $89 ‘Ad-Free, Content-Free’ Subscription Tier for Subscribers Who Forgot to Cancel - Unsourced News
DisneyPlus has announced a brand-new $89 monthly tier officially named DisneyMinus™, with no content, no ads, no menus, and no thumbnails.
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November 16, 2025 at 4:29 PM
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White House Announces ‘Operation: Look Over There!’ Days Before Epstein Files Hit the Internet
White House Announces 'Operation: Look Over There!' Days Before Epstein Files Hit the Internet - Unsourced News
In an announcement that officials insist is “completely unrelated” to the the Epstein files, Trump unveiled Operation: Look Over There!
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November 14, 2025 at 4:35 PM
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November 14, 2025 at 2:06 PM
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Grok Update Adds Ability to Mansplain Even When No One Asked a Question
#satire #humor #politicalsatire #Grok
Grok Update Adds Ability to Mansplain Even When No One Asked a Question - Unsourced News
Developers at X announced that the newest update to Grok now includes a fully automated unsolicited mansplaining module.
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November 14, 2025 at 1:29 PM
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Trump Claims He Only Knew Epstein Socially, Biblically, Geographically, Financially, and Telepathically, But Not Personally
#politicalsatire #politicalcomedy #parody #satire #humor
Trump Claims He Only Knew Epstein Socially, Biblically, Geographically, Financially, and Telepathically, But Not Personally - Unsourced News
President Trump claimed he “only knew him socially, biblically, geographically, financially, and telepathically. But not personally.”
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November 13, 2025 at 6:54 PM
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New 50-Year Mortgage Will Require Ritual Bloodletting, Infant Collateral Clause, and Presence of Licensed Bank Witch
New 50-Year Mortgage Will Require Ritual Bloodletting, Infant Collateral Clause, and Presence of Licensed Bank Witch - Unsourced News
Details of the 50-year mortgage were unveiled to include ritual bloodletting, an Infant Collateral Clause, and oversight by a Bank Witch.
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November 13, 2025 at 1:33 PM
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Don't feed the hungry! #ice #thanksgiving #pilgrims
November 12, 2025 at 7:59 PM
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Trump’s New Stimulus Plan Will Simply Entail Taxpayers Writing Themselves a $2,000 Check
Trump's New Stimulus Plan Will Simply Entail Taxpayers Writing Themselves a $2,000 Check - Unsourced News
In an effort to address prices increases caused by his tariffs, President Trump announced a new self-stimulus program
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November 12, 2025 at 4:02 PM
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Celebrities Rally Behind Climate Change With Limited-Edition, Gas-Powered Bracelets
Celebrities Rally Behind Climate Change With Limited-Edition, Gas-Powered Bracelets - Unsourced News
Dozens of celebrities gathered this week to raise awareness for climate change by unveiling a new line of gas-powered bracelets.
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November 12, 2025 at 2:47 PM
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Short-Staffed Airports Advise Pilots to Simply Follow the Trail of Burning Debris to Locate Runways
Short-Staffed Airports Advise Pilots to Simply Follow the Trail of Burning Debris to Locate Runways - Unsourced News
The FAA announced that pilots are now encouraged to visually locate landing zones by “identifying the trail of burning debris.”
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November 11, 2025 at 2:47 PM
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Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain
Judge Orders Lively and Baldoni to Settle Dispute Through Dramatic Monologue in Rain - Unsourced News
A judge has ordered Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni to resolve their dispute through a dramatic monologue—performed outdoors, in the rain.
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November 10, 2025 at 4:36 PM
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Democrats Secure Parking Validation and a Tote Bag in Historic Win for the Party
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Democrats Secure Parking Validation and a Tote Bag in Historic Win for the Party - Unsourced News
Senate Democrats announced a groundbreaking deal to end the government shutdown in exchange for parking validation, one tote bag per member
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November 10, 2025 at 2:01 PM
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Protesters Discover PB&J More Effective Than Tuna Melts Against ICE Agents
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Protesters Discover PB&J More Effective Than Tuna Melts Against ICE Agents - Unsourced News
After the recent acquittal of sandwich activist Sean Dunn, protestors have begun experimenting with sandwich-based resistance.
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November 7, 2025 at 2:57 PM
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Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half
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Gavin Newsom Announces New Role as President of America’s Functioning Half - Unsourced News
In a move described as “critical for global democracy,” Gavin Newsom announced his position as President of the Functional States of America
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November 7, 2025 at 2:15 PM
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Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process #meta #scam #satire
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Meta Introduces “Verified Scam” Badge to Streamline Fraud Process - Unsourced News
Meta has rolled out of its new “Verified Scam” badge — a sleek blue-and-gold checkmark designed to help users identify which fraudulent ads
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November 6, 2025 at 7:25 PM
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RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines
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RFK Jr. Urges Americans to Prepare for Flu Season by Burning Sage and the CDC’s Official Guidelines - Unsourced News
RFK Jr. urged Americans to “cleanse their spaces and spirits” by burning a cleansing combination of sage and the CDC’s recommendations.
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November 6, 2025 at 2:44 PM
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Trump Denies Appearing on 60 Minutes
November 5, 2025 at 5:15 PM
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Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes”
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Mike Johnson Blames Election Defeat on “Unfair Bias Toward Candidates Who Received Votes” - Unsourced News
Mike Johnson(R-LA) declared that the culprit behind his party’s catastrophic losses was an “unfair bias toward candidates who received votes.”
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November 5, 2025 at 5:01 PM
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#gerrymandering #prop50 #texas #california #gerryman @governor.ca.gov
November 5, 2025 at 3:25 PM
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Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway
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Redrawn GOP Map Connects Every Republican Voter by One Long Driveway
Republican lawmakers have unveiled a new map that connects every registered Republican voter through a single, continuous driveway
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November 5, 2025 at 3:04 PM
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Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected
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Asshole Billionaires Threaten to Pack Up Their Shit and Ruin a Different City After Mamdani Elected - Unsourced News
After the historic victory of Zohran Mamdani, several of New York’s wealthiest residents have announced plans to leave the city
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November 5, 2025 at 1:41 PM
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Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake
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Ghost of Dick Cheney Haunts Pentagon, Demands One Last War for Old Time’s Sake - Unsourced News
In a chilling turn of events, the ghost of former Vice President Dick Cheney has reportedly taken up permanent residence in the Pentagon,
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November 4, 2025 at 4:29 PM