The Unger Review
@ungerreview.bsky.social
Satire by Andrew Unger.
Home of The Daily Bonnet.
ungerreview.com
Home of The Daily Bonnet.
ungerreview.com
Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage www.ungerreview.com/manitoba-man...
Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage
YARROW, BC Timmy Wiebe of Reinland, Manitoba ventured out to Abbotsford this week and quickly became the first Manitoban ever to dare to try BC farmer sausage. “BC farmer sausage? It doesn’t give such...
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November 23, 2025 at 3:00 PM
Manitoba Man Survives Encounter with Out-of-Province Farmer Sausage www.ungerreview.com/manitoba-man...
Check out our new merch store, just in time for Christmas.
November 22, 2025 at 10:18 PM
Check out our new merch store, just in time for Christmas.
Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-wo...
Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican
WINNIPEG, MB A young Mennonite woman from Winnipeg has been wondering lately whether it just might be that she’s actually an Anglican. Katie Enns, 23, started having Anglican thoughts a few years ago ...
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November 22, 2025 at 1:16 AM
Mennonite Woman Concerned She Might Be Anglican www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-wo...
Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant www.ungerreview.com/dating-coupl...
Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant
WINNIPEG, MB Dating couple Amanda and Kevin of Landmark drove into the city this weekend to sit in their car with the windows rolled down on Lagimodiere. “I knew this was a great first date [...]
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November 19, 2025 at 1:27 AM
Dating Couple to Spend Romantic Evening Basking in the Aroma of the Maple Leaf Plant www.ungerreview.com/dating-coupl...
Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-fa...
Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck
SCHRATJLIJCH, MB The Schratjlijch Gospel Church is inviting everyone to stay after church this Sunday for a delicious potluck, including raisin buns, mashed potatoes, and a delectable array of Jell-o ...
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November 19, 2025 at 12:38 AM
Mennonite Families Sign-Up to Bring Salads, Buns, and Measles to Upcoming Potluck www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-fa...
Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody www.ungerreview.com/winnipeg-man...
Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody
WINNIPEG, MB Area man Myles Fehr, 71, is begrudgingly hosting a Grey Cup party this afternoon and has forbidden any of his guests from cheering for anyone. “I hope they both lose,” said Fehr. “If [......
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November 16, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Winnipeg Man to Host Grey Cup Party and Cheer for Nobody www.ungerreview.com/winnipeg-man...
U.S.A. to Stop Making Sense www.ungerreview.com/u-s-a-to-sto...
U.S.A. to Stop Making Sense
WASHINGTON, DC The White House announced today, what the rest of the world had noticed for a long time, that they would officially stop making sense effective immediately. “I’ve instructed the US Mint...
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November 15, 2025 at 9:38 PM
U.S.A. to Stop Making Sense www.ungerreview.com/u-s-a-to-sto...
Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-pa...
Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup
SWIFT CURRENT, SK Area pastor Ron Hildebrandt is preparing a scathing sermon for this Sunday after he witnessed an extremely immodest display of makeup on the night sky this week. “Jauma, it looks lik...
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November 14, 2025 at 1:40 AM
Mennonite Pastor Scolds Sky for Wearing Too Much Makeup www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-pa...
Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage www.ungerreview.com/area-man-hop...
Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage
WASHINGTON, DC Area man Brad Wiebe, 31, has amazing plan to finally be rid of his 50-year mortgage – wait to die. “Yeah so let’s say Katie and I take a mortgage today,” explained Wiebe. [...]
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November 12, 2025 at 12:06 AM
Area Man Really Hoping to Die Before He’s Finished Paying Off That 50-Year Mortgage www.ungerreview.com/area-man-hop...
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans
OTTAWA, ON Although it’s controversial in some circles, it’s been part of the Anabaptist system, and the Protestant system more generally, for centuries – crossing the floor. Whenever a church member...
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November 7, 2025 at 6:43 PM
Mennonite Man “Crosses the Floor” to Join the Lutherans www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-ma...
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-te...
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School
WATERLOO, ON It’s perhaps thr most annoying trend to hit Sunday school this year, as Mennonite middle schoolers keep yelling “SIX-oh-six” at every opportunity. “There I am trying to tell them about th...
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November 6, 2025 at 2:44 AM
Mennonite Teens Keep Yelling “606” in Sunday School www.ungerreview.com/mennonite-te...
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing www.ungerreview.com/white-house-...
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won't Be Used for Dancing
WASHINGTON, DC Desperate the quell a rising tide of angry Mennonite voters, the White House clarified this afternoon that the new ballroom would not be used for dancing. “Only faspas and quilt auction...
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November 4, 2025 at 1:13 AM
White House Reassures Mennonites New Ballroom Won’t Be Used for Dancing www.ungerreview.com/white-house-...
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series www.ungerreview.com/lodged-perog...
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series
TORONTO, ON The L.A. Dodgers are thanking a Mennonite baseball fan this week for dropping his delicious cottage cheese perogy into the outfield, which cost the Toronto Blue Jays a potential series-win...
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November 2, 2025 at 10:04 PM
Lodged Perogy Costs Blue Jays World Series www.ungerreview.com/lodged-perog...
Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’ www.ungerreview.com/mennonites-r...
Mennonites Refuse to Watch 'Worldly Series'
ST. JACOBS, ON Thousands of Mennonites in southern Ontario have refused to join in on the festivities this evening after local pastors preached vehemently against the ‘Worldly Series’s this past Sunda...
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November 2, 2025 at 2:19 AM
Mennonites Refuse to Watch ‘Worldly Series’ www.ungerreview.com/mennonites-r...
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight www.ungerreview.com/man-who-cant...
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight
TORONTO, ON Area man Larry Enns, 51, normally swears off sports completely, but for some reason is really into the Blue Jays this evening. “I’ll be on the edge of my seat,” said Enns. “Rance [...]
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October 31, 2025 at 11:38 PM
Man Who Can’t Name a Single Player Really Rooting for the Blue Jays Tonight www.ungerreview.com/man-who-cant...
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List
EDMONTON, AB Alberta Premier Danielle Smith held a massive bonfire outside the provincial legislative building this week to destroy any remaining copies of the Constitution of Canada. “Had my goons fi...
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October 29, 2025 at 5:35 PM
Danielle Smith Adds Canadian Constitution to Alberta’s Banned Books List www.ungerreview.com/danielle-smi...
In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday www.ungerreview.com/in-honour-of...
In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday
LEAMINGTON, ON Pastor Dave of South Leamington Mennonite Church is gearing up for his longest sermon yet this upcoming Sunday. “You can’t say I didn’t warn you,” said Pastor Dave, “but those Blue Jays...
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October 29, 2025 at 1:37 AM
In Honour of Blue Jays, Mennonite Pastor to Preach Epic 18-Inning Sermon this Sunday www.ungerreview.com/in-honour-of...
Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg www.ungerreview.com/abbotsford-w...
Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg
ABBOTSFORD, BC Abbotsford woman Stephanie Friesen has come under a hailstorm of controversy this week after apparently bringing the west coast’s rainy weather with her to Winnipeg. “I haven’t used an ...
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October 28, 2025 at 12:16 AM
Abbotsford Woman Blamed for All This Rain in Winnipeg www.ungerreview.com/abbotsford-w...
Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations www.ungerreview.com/blue-jays-to...
Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations
TORONTO, ON After an apparent gaff in running an ad that accurately represented Ronald Reagan’s views on tariffs, Ontario Premier Doug Ford is now asking the Blue Jays to “let them have this one,” in ...
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October 25, 2025 at 11:21 PM
Ford Demands Blue Jays Throw World Series in Effort to Repair Canada-US Relations www.ungerreview.com/blue-jays-to...
Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack www.ungerreview.com/approaching-...
Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack
AIRDRIE, AB Area man Jeremy Goerzen, 41, slowed way down on Highway 2 near Balzac this week as he saw what he believed was a cop approaching in the distance. “Oh, jeez, better ease off [...]
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October 24, 2025 at 2:01 AM
Approaching Cop Car Turns Out to Be Just a Guy with a Ski Rack www.ungerreview.com/approaching-...
Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist www.ungerreview.com/thieves-stea...
Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist
WINKLER, MB Winkler, Manitoba, often called the Paris of the Pembina Valley, was the victim of a brazen daytime heist this week after balaclava-donning thieves on dirt bikes took off with Mrs. Reime...
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October 22, 2025 at 4:17 AM
Thieves Steal ‘Mennonite Crown Jewels’ in Brazen Daytime Heist www.ungerreview.com/thieves-stea...