_Matti
@underscorematti.bsky.social
I was God once, now I'm just experiencing the mortal life. Not my best decision, also not my worst tbh.
May 12, 2025 at 11:18 PM
The reason his voice is like that is because he swallowed his tongue trying to taste his own fart. He figured since his head was already up his ass so why not go for it.
We've all been suffering since.
We've all been suffering since.
May 4, 2025 at 3:59 AM
The reason his voice is like that is because he swallowed his tongue trying to taste his own fart. He figured since his head was already up his ass so why not go for it.
We've all been suffering since.
We've all been suffering since.
You don't get into heaven by telling everyone to go to hell.
April 21, 2025 at 9:11 PM
You don't get into heaven by telling everyone to go to hell.
Can't believe that couch fucker killed the Pope.
April 21, 2025 at 3:57 PM
Can't believe that couch fucker killed the Pope.
April 9, 2025 at 2:42 AM
Anybody else living one of their worst nightmares this week?
March 27, 2025 at 4:00 PM
Anybody else living one of their worst nightmares this week?
Today is a day to mourn.
Pet your pets for me, and they're a ginger cat give them extra love.
Pet your pets for me, and they're a ginger cat give them extra love.
February 23, 2025 at 5:43 PM
Today is a day to mourn.
Pet your pets for me, and they're a ginger cat give them extra love.
Pet your pets for me, and they're a ginger cat give them extra love.
This is as American as apple pie.
February 22, 2025 at 6:02 PM
This is as American as apple pie.
I almost got hit by a cybertruck for the first time today.
Like bro that's $120,000+ vs my $2500, have some sense.
Like bro that's $120,000+ vs my $2500, have some sense.
February 21, 2025 at 10:42 PM
I almost got hit by a cybertruck for the first time today.
Like bro that's $120,000+ vs my $2500, have some sense.
Like bro that's $120,000+ vs my $2500, have some sense.
This is your reminder that you deserve good things.
February 12, 2025 at 5:44 AM
This is your reminder that you deserve good things.
Shake your booty Shadow Man.
February 3, 2025 at 10:08 PM
Shake your booty Shadow Man.
February 3, 2025 at 4:53 AM
Defensive Safety Tip for the apocalyptic present:
Keep a working lighter and a travel can of hairspray in whatever bag you carry with you.
#DST
Keep a working lighter and a travel can of hairspray in whatever bag you carry with you.
#DST
January 31, 2025 at 5:38 PM
Defensive Safety Tip for the apocalyptic present:
Keep a working lighter and a travel can of hairspray in whatever bag you carry with you.
#DST
Keep a working lighter and a travel can of hairspray in whatever bag you carry with you.
#DST
As above, so below, and over yonder as well.
January 30, 2025 at 6:14 AM
As above, so below, and over yonder as well.
I had customers that needed copies of their immigration papers to keep with them while out in public. This broke me. Families are out there just trying to live their lives, now they have to have a constant fear cause some white dude with an inferiority complex will try and start shit.
#BeBetter
#BeBetter
January 29, 2025 at 5:27 AM
I had customers that needed copies of their immigration papers to keep with them while out in public. This broke me. Families are out there just trying to live their lives, now they have to have a constant fear cause some white dude with an inferiority complex will try and start shit.
#BeBetter
#BeBetter
I'm going to start posting useful and underrated tools.
This one, for example, is a valve stem removal tool.
#UsefulTool
This one, for example, is a valve stem removal tool.
#UsefulTool
January 21, 2025 at 3:07 AM
I'm going to start posting useful and underrated tools.
This one, for example, is a valve stem removal tool.
#UsefulTool
This one, for example, is a valve stem removal tool.
#UsefulTool
When a customer you help tells you they're looking for something for the brain-damaged person they care for and the way describe that person also describes you.
Brain-damage buddies!
Brain-damage buddies!
January 18, 2025 at 3:53 AM
When a customer you help tells you they're looking for something for the brain-damaged person they care for and the way describe that person also describes you.
Brain-damage buddies!
Brain-damage buddies!
The opposite of hard copy is flaccid facsimile.
January 17, 2025 at 2:33 AM
The opposite of hard copy is flaccid facsimile.
The universe keeps giving me side quests.
This life is the weirdest video game ever.
This life is the weirdest video game ever.
January 14, 2025 at 7:48 PM
The universe keeps giving me side quests.
This life is the weirdest video game ever.
This life is the weirdest video game ever.
When the universe talks to you through you.
January 11, 2025 at 9:21 PM
When the universe talks to you through you.
I'm a wizard, and my wand is a pocket knife.
December 22, 2024 at 8:10 PM
I'm a wizard, and my wand is a pocket knife.