Mitt Romney clearly posturing to run on the Dem ticket is so good man. Braindead liberals that listen to former Dubya staffers on MSNBC all day will fall for it too. Maybe 2028 will be the year of the illusive undecided moderate I've been hearing about my entire adult life.

I am going to suck off RFK and then hang dong in Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

People love to carry on about doomscrolling but it's always just about people reading depressing politics crap on twitter. Babes the real doomscrolling is going through r/teachers holy.

Man it is simply impossible to make pitas that puff up properly. Can't be done. Don't want to hear shit about "rolling them to the correct thickness" I have tried every thickness it does not work.

The classic thirty two year old man's urge to shape a big rock into a neat shape has fully taken hold of me.

Baseball would be better if only home runs counted. The whole field defense base running thing is too complicated. One pitcher, one batter, one fat umpire. All ya need.

Eating a frozen pizza for dinner today. Not great. Don't even have any beers. What can ya do ya know?

Don't smoke anymore but sometimes when I'm cooking something I used to make at my old cook job at a Malay restaurant I light a cig and let it burn on the counter to get the vibe right.

MLB player stat pages should have wiener measurements with their height/weight. Trying to get back into the game and this would really help me find guys to root for.

Capri Sun ain't got enough juice in em

A cholo walking a basset hound dressed up in a lowrider costume would be really sick. "Que onda guero? You look like you never see ears touch the ground before ese"

The hardest part of veganism isn't dietary restrictions or anything like that, it is actually just tolerating other vegans.

As a veteran I did not raze three Iraqi villages to the ground just to have the country I love and risked my life for taken over by a heckin bunch of fascists.

Another little dingus 80's Subaru that nobody has ever heard of despite being sold in the states just dropped. Shoutout to the Justy