Umberto Ecco2k
@umbertoecco2k.bsky.social
After pooping I waddle over to the sink and wash my hands before pulling up my pants
October 16, 2023 at 7:07 PM
After pooping I waddle over to the sink and wash my hands before pulling up my pants
Yes I have a degree in physics. No I don’t know how to tear plastic wrap
October 16, 2023 at 12:43 AM
Yes I have a degree in physics. No I don’t know how to tear plastic wrap
A girl asked me how long I’ve been going to the gym so I sent her a picture of me fully nude (half chub) and said “long enough to look like this” (2 weeks)
October 11, 2023 at 4:20 AM
A girl asked me how long I’ve been going to the gym so I sent her a picture of me fully nude (half chub) and said “long enough to look like this” (2 weeks)
I closed my eyes when Phoebe Bridgers showed her boobs and it didn’t take away from the plot at all
August 21, 2023 at 4:45 PM
I closed my eyes when Phoebe Bridgers showed her boobs and it didn’t take away from the plot at all
How I’m eating her pussy
August 18, 2023 at 8:32 PM
How I’m eating her pussy
C’mon cameraman don’t be shy, show us the other side of the gloryhole
August 18, 2023 at 4:34 PM
C’mon cameraman don’t be shy, show us the other side of the gloryhole
I don’t have a problem with Bradley Cooper’s fake nose as long as they give him a big fat Jew bulge too
August 17, 2023 at 5:11 PM
I don’t have a problem with Bradley Cooper’s fake nose as long as they give him a big fat Jew bulge too
My hypnotherapist keeps dressing up like my uncle and sucking my dick while I’m in a trance
August 11, 2023 at 4:46 PM
My hypnotherapist keeps dressing up like my uncle and sucking my dick while I’m in a trance
Zoophile excitedly pulling a book called “Animal Husbandry” off the shelf
July 31, 2023 at 7:29 PM
Zoophile excitedly pulling a book called “Animal Husbandry” off the shelf
I’m scared my life is just a simulation to create emotional training data for AI
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
July 28, 2023 at 5:34 PM
I’m scared my life is just a simulation to create emotional training data for AI
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?
Be sure to subscribe for my next tier list video where I rank ongoing missing persons cases
July 16, 2023 at 3:51 PM
Be sure to subscribe for my next tier list video where I rank ongoing missing persons cases
Watch out for that guy, I heard he buys girls a big turkey dinner at the bar and then offers to help them get home when they get real sleepy
July 15, 2023 at 9:20 PM
Watch out for that guy, I heard he buys girls a big turkey dinner at the bar and then offers to help them get home when they get real sleepy
Imagine how much bigger of a star Charlie Chaplin could’ve been if he learned how to talk
July 14, 2023 at 11:03 PM
Imagine how much bigger of a star Charlie Chaplin could’ve been if he learned how to talk
Doctor: The x-rays show 3 bullets in your son’s stomach
Mom: OMG, he was shot?
Doctor: No, he swallowed them
Mom: OMG, he was shot?
Doctor: No, he swallowed them
July 14, 2023 at 9:09 PM
Doctor: The x-rays show 3 bullets in your son’s stomach
Mom: OMG, he was shot?
Doctor: No, he swallowed them
Mom: OMG, he was shot?
Doctor: No, he swallowed them
A chance of meatballs, you say? but look outside - it’s sunny!
July 14, 2023 at 8:51 PM
A chance of meatballs, you say? but look outside - it’s sunny!
How do I know you’re a real clown and not just wearing makeup?
July 14, 2023 at 1:23 AM
How do I know you’re a real clown and not just wearing makeup?
Sheriff: We need a blood sample from the suspect
Deputy: *Pulls out pistol*
Sheriff: No no with a like a needle
Deputy: *Pulls out pistol*
Sheriff: No no with a like a needle
July 13, 2023 at 7:54 PM
Sheriff: We need a blood sample from the suspect
Deputy: *Pulls out pistol*
Sheriff: No no with a like a needle
Deputy: *Pulls out pistol*
Sheriff: No no with a like a needle
WARNING: The “lobster dinner” at Riley’s Crab Shack is NOT a meal styled after what a lobster would eat for dinner
July 13, 2023 at 4:57 PM
WARNING: The “lobster dinner” at Riley’s Crab Shack is NOT a meal styled after what a lobster would eat for dinner
There is no torture in hell. It’s just like heaven except satan let’s people
choose slurs as their name
choose slurs as their name
July 13, 2023 at 3:08 PM
There is no torture in hell. It’s just like heaven except satan let’s people
choose slurs as their name
choose slurs as their name
AITA for being happy my gf’s dad died?
Trust me it’s not as bad as it sounds haha it’s just that he was really traditional so I know he’d have wanted me to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage and that would’ve been soooo awkward so his death really takes a load off my back. My gf is not ha…
Trust me it’s not as bad as it sounds haha it’s just that he was really traditional so I know he’d have wanted me to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage and that would’ve been soooo awkward so his death really takes a load off my back. My gf is not ha…
July 12, 2023 at 10:17 PM
AITA for being happy my gf’s dad died?
Trust me it’s not as bad as it sounds haha it’s just that he was really traditional so I know he’d have wanted me to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage and that would’ve been soooo awkward so his death really takes a load off my back. My gf is not ha…
Trust me it’s not as bad as it sounds haha it’s just that he was really traditional so I know he’d have wanted me to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage and that would’ve been soooo awkward so his death really takes a load off my back. My gf is not ha…