BlueTy
@tylrt.bsky.social
Account that acts like a spillover retention pond for my useless thoughts
Any woman named April Showers should never be rejected if applying to work for FTD
January 22, 2026 at 11:00 PM
Any woman named April Showers should never be rejected if applying to work for FTD
Bubba: "It's like a saxophone, Donnie. Don't use teeth like that."
November 14, 2025 at 8:18 PM
Bubba: "It's like a saxophone, Donnie. Don't use teeth like that."
> Post something meaningless on a sub-10k subreddit
> Accused of karmawhoring
Yessir, I throw my virtual body at penny-ante subs for the thrill of having three upvotes and no other reason. Redditors, man 🤦
> Accused of karmawhoring
Yessir, I throw my virtual body at penny-ante subs for the thrill of having three upvotes and no other reason. Redditors, man 🤦
September 2, 2025 at 2:50 PM
> Post something meaningless on a sub-10k subreddit
> Accused of karmawhoring
Yessir, I throw my virtual body at penny-ante subs for the thrill of having three upvotes and no other reason. Redditors, man 🤦
> Accused of karmawhoring
Yessir, I throw my virtual body at penny-ante subs for the thrill of having three upvotes and no other reason. Redditors, man 🤦
Idea: Drumeo's For The First Time, but they could've already heard the song and they can only use their fingers to drum a school desk
August 27, 2025 at 9:30 AM
Idea: Drumeo's For The First Time, but they could've already heard the song and they can only use their fingers to drum a school desk
"Here, take a senzu bean!"
"Nope! I'm allergic to them!"
"You've never had one!"
"I can't eat most beans, any legumes, beans of a traditional bean shape — it's one or all of those. And how does it fill you up for days? I can't have gluten, dairy, soy, red meat, fish, chicken, pork, tomatoes..."
"Nope! I'm allergic to them!"
"You've never had one!"
"I can't eat most beans, any legumes, beans of a traditional bean shape — it's one or all of those. And how does it fill you up for days? I can't have gluten, dairy, soy, red meat, fish, chicken, pork, tomatoes..."
August 3, 2025 at 12:46 PM
"Here, take a senzu bean!"
"Nope! I'm allergic to them!"
"You've never had one!"
"I can't eat most beans, any legumes, beans of a traditional bean shape — it's one or all of those. And how does it fill you up for days? I can't have gluten, dairy, soy, red meat, fish, chicken, pork, tomatoes..."
"Nope! I'm allergic to them!"
"You've never had one!"
"I can't eat most beans, any legumes, beans of a traditional bean shape — it's one or all of those. And how does it fill you up for days? I can't have gluten, dairy, soy, red meat, fish, chicken, pork, tomatoes..."
Bob Barker's microphone was the opposite of a Slim Jim in that it grew in length over time
July 24, 2025 at 5:20 AM
Bob Barker's microphone was the opposite of a Slim Jim in that it grew in length over time
Zelda Dungeon Maintenance: "Crew — at the end of the night, make sure to lock up in a convoluted manner to thwart and demoralize intruders.
Key holder — TAKE THE KEY WITH YOU!! Do not leave it in an easily accessible chest!"
Key holder — TAKE THE KEY WITH YOU!! Do not leave it in an easily accessible chest!"
July 16, 2025 at 6:05 AM
Zelda Dungeon Maintenance: "Crew — at the end of the night, make sure to lock up in a convoluted manner to thwart and demoralize intruders.
Key holder — TAKE THE KEY WITH YOU!! Do not leave it in an easily accessible chest!"
Key holder — TAKE THE KEY WITH YOU!! Do not leave it in an easily accessible chest!"
Redditors 🤜🙅🤛 Reading comprehension
↑
The very same redditors
↑
The very same redditors
July 2, 2025 at 4:46 PM
Redditors 🤜🙅🤛 Reading comprehension
↑
The very same redditors
↑
The very same redditors
It's Friday the 13th today. It's safe to walk under ladders if you just don't feel anything anymore
June 13, 2025 at 5:15 PM
It's Friday the 13th today. It's safe to walk under ladders if you just don't feel anything anymore
"Mwa ha ha! I will kidnap Peach today and thrash Mario for good this ti-"
"He's going karting again."
"Mothball these new plans! Fetch my wheels!"
"He's going karting again."
"Mothball these new plans! Fetch my wheels!"
June 7, 2025 at 8:16 PM
"Mwa ha ha! I will kidnap Peach today and thrash Mario for good this ti-"
"He's going karting again."
"Mothball these new plans! Fetch my wheels!"
"He's going karting again."
"Mothball these new plans! Fetch my wheels!"
"Load the ark! Two of every animal.
...Yes, even the ones in South America. I don't have a map. God will tell you where it is. Shouldn't be too far.
...Yes, just two. No, they won't grow hungry.
...Defecation? God will take care of that.
...Procreation on the boat? God is forbidding it!"
...Yes, even the ones in South America. I don't have a map. God will tell you where it is. Shouldn't be too far.
...Yes, just two. No, they won't grow hungry.
...Defecation? God will take care of that.
...Procreation on the boat? God is forbidding it!"
May 25, 2025 at 12:38 AM
"Load the ark! Two of every animal.
...Yes, even the ones in South America. I don't have a map. God will tell you where it is. Shouldn't be too far.
...Yes, just two. No, they won't grow hungry.
...Defecation? God will take care of that.
...Procreation on the boat? God is forbidding it!"
...Yes, even the ones in South America. I don't have a map. God will tell you where it is. Shouldn't be too far.
...Yes, just two. No, they won't grow hungry.
...Defecation? God will take care of that.
...Procreation on the boat? God is forbidding it!"
Ocean dub DBZ was like: "you didn't die when I sunk your battleships, ripped apart your helicopters, and leveled your cities, but you will writhe in agony over the economical damage and recovery efforts"
May 23, 2025 at 10:50 PM
Ocean dub DBZ was like: "you didn't die when I sunk your battleships, ripped apart your helicopters, and leveled your cities, but you will writhe in agony over the economical damage and recovery efforts"
Deaths on this day: Osama bin Laden, J. Edgar Hoover, Joseph McCarthy. Three's a crowd, but you know who loves crowds?
It's you! Don all — tacky or not — your festive hats if you celebrate today
It's you! Don all — tacky or not — your festive hats if you celebrate today
May 2, 2025 at 11:26 AM
Deaths on this day: Osama bin Laden, J. Edgar Hoover, Joseph McCarthy. Three's a crowd, but you know who loves crowds?
It's you! Don all — tacky or not — your festive hats if you celebrate today
It's you! Don all — tacky or not — your festive hats if you celebrate today
Floors are lava but they only harm humans, not furniture, toys, pets, etc.
April 23, 2025 at 6:23 AM
Floors are lava but they only harm humans, not furniture, toys, pets, etc.
It's Hug a Newsperson Day. I find that very thoughtful. People ask "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" but rarely ask "How's the frequency, Kenneth?"
April 4, 2025 at 10:14 PM
It's Hug a Newsperson Day. I find that very thoughtful. People ask "What's the frequency, Kenneth?" but rarely ask "How's the frequency, Kenneth?"
New DJT album, "Fear of a Bleak Planet," drops tomorrow for $45.47 ($14.88 if you hold a golden U.S. visa)
April 4, 2025 at 9:40 PM
New DJT album, "Fear of a Bleak Planet," drops tomorrow for $45.47 ($14.88 if you hold a golden U.S. visa)
♪ I sought the tariff
'cause I didn't keep my faculties ♪
'cause I didn't keep my faculties ♪
April 4, 2025 at 4:39 PM
♪ I sought the tariff
'cause I didn't keep my faculties ♪
'cause I didn't keep my faculties ♪
Late is better than over-obligate
March 22, 2025 at 11:46 PM
Late is better than over-obligate
You put your two hands in
You put your two hands out
You do the Trumpy Grumpy
And you shake yourself about
You put your two hands out
You do the Trumpy Grumpy
And you shake yourself about
March 19, 2025 at 10:20 PM
You put your two hands in
You put your two hands out
You do the Trumpy Grumpy
And you shake yourself about
You put your two hands out
You do the Trumpy Grumpy
And you shake yourself about
Contents: Just look in the bag! It's see-through!
March 7, 2025 at 1:32 PM
Contents: Just look in the bag! It's see-through!
"I will implement tariffs" 🌸
"I will not implement tariffs" 💠
"I will not implement tariffs" 💠
March 7, 2025 at 2:12 AM
"I will implement tariffs" 🌸
"I will not implement tariffs" 💠
"I will not implement tariffs" 💠
It's been almost a week since the Chiefs lost the Superb Owl, hence more than four hours. At this rate, I might keep chopping it until the next season
February 15, 2025 at 4:32 AM
It's been almost a week since the Chiefs lost the Superb Owl, hence more than four hours. At this rate, I might keep chopping it until the next season
Perk of a 13-month calendar system: less January!
🐇🐇, you fucking awful month! 🖕🫳💪
🐇🐇, you fucking awful month! 🖕🫳💪
February 1, 2025 at 7:38 AM
Perk of a 13-month calendar system: less January!
🐇🐇, you fucking awful month! 🖕🫳💪
🐇🐇, you fucking awful month! 🖕🫳💪
Making America Losers Over Dimwitted Orangeman Reactions
January 27, 2025 at 7:03 AM
Making America Losers Over Dimwitted Orangeman Reactions
When do you believe they'll start letting random soldiers crash in your house? Gotta protect the border, rights be damned.
Looking more likely every day. Mid 2025?
Looking more likely every day. Mid 2025?
January 25, 2025 at 12:09 AM
When do you believe they'll start letting random soldiers crash in your house? Gotta protect the border, rights be damned.
Looking more likely every day. Mid 2025?
Looking more likely every day. Mid 2025?