NOTHING BEATS A JET2 HOLIDAY

Feeling like I’m one of three people in the world who heard “darling hold my hand” and immediately went “girl is that Jess Glynne??”. Either way, Stan our queen

Ya know, when I said, “as soon as I get fit it’s over for you hoes,” I didn’t realize I was referring to the downfall of the United States as a whole. My b.

The US is really feeling like we are on our farewell tour tbh

And so what if my work email sign off is:

Slay,
Tyler

That part when your “recommended songs” playlist starts to sound like a cry for help 👀

I promise I’m just a sad bitch at heart

You know that part in Grey’s when they start playing Aron Wright? Yeah that’s about how it’s going 💅

Is that existential dread in your pants or are you just happy to see me?

Before a company decides to use a song in a commercial, someone on that marketing team needs to sit in a room with it on repeat for an hour and then decide if they want to use it. The Sleep Number commercials are about to give me a nosebleed

My sweet baby Max 🥹

You’re telling me this was a short week??

At anytime in the day, know that some part of my brain is singing “Sheets of Egyptian Cotton” from Uptown Girls on repeat.

I live a very exciting life. I’ve gone through a bag of navel oranges in like 4 days

Not even sure I know how to social media anymore but look at my cat, he’s pretty great