Mick Twister
@twitmericks.bsky.social
There was an old fellow named Mick,
A topical verse was his shtick,
But as dear old Twitter
Got ever more bitter
He jumped to Bluesky double-quick.
A topical verse was his shtick,
But as dear old Twitter
Got ever more bitter
He jumped to Bluesky double-quick.
A royal now banished to Sandringham,
Who said other people were slandringham,
Is now an ex-Prince
Who failed to convince
King Charles Epstein hadn't been pandringham.
Who said other people were slandringham,
Is now an ex-Prince
Who failed to convince
King Charles Epstein hadn't been pandringham.
October 31, 2025 at 10:46 PM
A royal now banished to Sandringham,
Who said other people were slandringham,
Is now an ex-Prince
Who failed to convince
King Charles Epstein hadn't been pandringham.
Who said other people were slandringham,
Is now an ex-Prince
Who failed to convince
King Charles Epstein hadn't been pandringham.
Reposted by Mick Twister
Oh the Grand Old Duke of York
He had twelve million quid
He gave it to someone he never met
For something he never did
He had twelve million quid
He gave it to someone he never met
For something he never did
October 18, 2025 at 8:48 AM
Oh the Grand Old Duke of York
He had twelve million quid
He gave it to someone he never met
For something he never did
He had twelve million quid
He gave it to someone he never met
For something he never did
A royal accustomed to splendour
Was told he would have to surrender
The title of Duke
By way of rebuke
For being a paedo-befriender.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Was told he would have to surrender
The title of Duke
By way of rebuke
For being a paedo-befriender.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Prince Andrew gives up royal titles including Duke of York after ‘discussion with king’
In statement released by Buckingham Palace, Andrew says he will give up titles and honours
www.theguardian.com
October 17, 2025 at 9:29 PM
A royal accustomed to splendour
Was told he would have to surrender
The title of Duke
By way of rebuke
For being a paedo-befriender.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Was told he would have to surrender
The title of Duke
By way of rebuke
For being a paedo-befriender.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
A list by a prominent paedo
Of others who shared his libido,
Which his former best
Buddy hyped, then suppressed,
Torpedoed the Trump-Maga credo.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Of others who shared his libido,
Which his former best
Buddy hyped, then suppressed,
Torpedoed the Trump-Maga credo.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Why the Epstein case looms large in MAGA world
A subset of Trump supporters are passionate about the case - and angry at the president.
www.bbc.com
July 20, 2025 at 9:45 AM
A list by a prominent paedo
Of others who shared his libido,
Which his former best
Buddy hyped, then suppressed,
Torpedoed the Trump-Maga credo.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Of others who shared his libido,
Which his former best
Buddy hyped, then suppressed,
Torpedoed the Trump-Maga credo.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
The clerics of Bangor in Wales
Collectively went off the rails,
The spirit within
These priests being gin,
Prosecco and copious ales.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Collectively went off the rails,
The spirit within
These priests being gin,
Prosecco and copious ales.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Bangor Cathedral had 'binge drinking culture' at diocese
Priests and choristers at a crisis-hit cathedral did a "seven last shots of Christ" drinking game.
www.bbc.com
July 6, 2025 at 8:31 AM
The clerics of Bangor in Wales
Collectively went off the rails,
The spirit within
These priests being gin,
Prosecco and copious ales.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Collectively went off the rails,
The spirit within
These priests being gin,
Prosecco and copious ales.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Two buddies shared love man to man,
As much as two straight fellows can,
But Musk's in a K-Hole
And Trump is an a-hole
So now the shit's hitting the fan.
As much as two straight fellows can,
But Musk's in a K-Hole
And Trump is an a-hole
So now the shit's hitting the fan.
June 8, 2025 at 9:01 PM
Two buddies shared love man to man,
As much as two straight fellows can,
But Musk's in a K-Hole
And Trump is an a-hole
So now the shit's hitting the fan.
As much as two straight fellows can,
But Musk's in a K-Hole
And Trump is an a-hole
So now the shit's hitting the fan.
Reposted by Mick Twister
A fellow named Johan from Norway,
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Man in Norway wakes to find huge container ship in garden
Johan Helberg says he was
www.bbc.co.uk
May 24, 2025 at 4:37 PM
A fellow named Johan from Norway,
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
A fellow named Johan from Norway,
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Man in Norway wakes to find huge container ship in garden
Johan Helberg says he was
www.bbc.co.uk
May 24, 2025 at 4:37 PM
A fellow named Johan from Norway,
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Who lived rather close to the shoreway,
Declared: "Beg your pardon,
Your ship's in my garden,
And damn near got stuck in my doorway!"
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
West African chimps in the mist
Apparently cannot resist
A fruit that's fermented -
What makes them contented
Is sitting around getting pissed.
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Apparently cannot resist
A fruit that's fermented -
What makes them contented
Is sitting around getting pissed.
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Wild chimpanzees filmed by scientists bonding over alcoholic fruit
Footage of apes consuming fermented breadfruit leads researchers to ask if it may shed light on origins of human feasting
www.theguardian.com
April 22, 2025 at 7:09 PM
West African chimps in the mist
Apparently cannot resist
A fruit that's fermented -
What makes them contented
Is sitting around getting pissed.
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
Apparently cannot resist
A fruit that's fermented -
What makes them contented
Is sitting around getting pissed.
www.theguardian.com/science/2025...
A livestreamed fertility chase
Has top seeds competing for pace:
Which spermatazoa
Swim faster or slower -
It's who not comes first in this race.
(Thanks to @johnthejack
www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda... (£)
timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl...
Has top seeds competing for pace:
Which spermatazoa
Swim faster or slower -
It's who not comes first in this race.
(Thanks to @johnthejack
www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda... (£)
timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl...
World's first sperm race in Los Angeles brings male fertility into public spotlight | - The Times of India
Science News: Sperm Racing, a startup founded by young entrepreneurs, is set to host the world's first sperm race in Los Angeles on April 25. This unique event aims
timesofindia.indiatimes.com
April 17, 2025 at 8:15 AM
A livestreamed fertility chase
Has top seeds competing for pace:
Which spermatazoa
Swim faster or slower -
It's who not comes first in this race.
(Thanks to @johnthejack
www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda... (£)
timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl...
Has top seeds competing for pace:
Which spermatazoa
Swim faster or slower -
It's who not comes first in this race.
(Thanks to @johnthejack
www.thetimes.com/us/news-toda... (£)
timesofindia.indiatimes.com/science/worl...
A Maga merch seller from China
Dismissed the Trump tariffs as minor:
His fans won't think twice,
Whatever the price,
They'll pay it in South Carolina.
Dismissed the Trump tariffs as minor:
His fans won't think twice,
Whatever the price,
They'll pay it in South Carolina.
April 12, 2025 at 11:43 AM
A Maga merch seller from China
Dismissed the Trump tariffs as minor:
His fans won't think twice,
Whatever the price,
They'll pay it in South Carolina.
Dismissed the Trump tariffs as minor:
His fans won't think twice,
Whatever the price,
They'll pay it in South Carolina.
The faraway islands of
Heard,
To whom Trump's announcement referred,
Face tariffs, they say,
Because one fine day
A penguin flipped Donald the bird.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Heard,
To whom Trump's announcement referred,
Face tariffs, they say,
Because one fine day
A penguin flipped Donald the bird.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Trump imposes tariffs on uninhabited Heard and McDonald Islands near Antarctica
Australian prime minister surprised after remote external territories – including islands home to penguins – targeted by US president
www.theguardian.com
April 3, 2025 at 6:51 PM
The faraway islands of
Heard,
To whom Trump's announcement referred,
Face tariffs, they say,
Because one fine day
A penguin flipped Donald the bird.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Heard,
To whom Trump's announcement referred,
Face tariffs, they say,
Because one fine day
A penguin flipped Donald the bird.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
A force meant to tackle lawbreakers
Considers extreme troublemakers
Those secret consumers
Of breadsticks and hummus,
The dastardly Westminster Quakers.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...
Considers extreme troublemakers
Those secret consumers
Of breadsticks and hummus,
The dastardly Westminster Quakers.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...
Quakers condemn Met Police raid as six arrested in Westminster meeting house
Youth Demand said their members were planning non-violent protests in April when they were arrested in a Quaker meeting house
www.independent.co.uk
March 30, 2025 at 1:17 PM
A force meant to tackle lawbreakers
Considers extreme troublemakers
Those secret consumers
Of breadsticks and hummus,
The dastardly Westminster Quakers.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...
Considers extreme troublemakers
Those secret consumers
Of breadsticks and hummus,
The dastardly Westminster Quakers.
www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crim...
A high-up Republican chap
Mis-shared on a messaging app;
Despite Trump and Waltz
Dismissing his faults,
The dogs in the street know that's crap.
www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
Mis-shared on a messaging app;
Despite Trump and Waltz
Dismissing his faults,
The dogs in the street know that's crap.
www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
Trump stands by national security adviser Mike Waltz despite disclosure of military plans, saying he’s ‘learned a lesson’
Trump said that even though the editor of The Atlantic was inadvertently added to a private chat about military plans, his presence had “no impact” on the military strikes in Yemen.
www.nbcnews.com
March 26, 2025 at 8:30 AM
A high-up Republican chap
Mis-shared on a messaging app;
Despite Trump and Waltz
Dismissing his faults,
The dogs in the street know that's crap.
www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
Mis-shared on a messaging app;
Despite Trump and Waltz
Dismissing his faults,
The dogs in the street know that's crap.
www.nbcnews.com/politics/whi...
Reposted by Mick Twister
Word ↔ Puzzles conference was AMAZING! Great cryptic and literary crowd, top speakers inc.
@johnfinnemore.bsky.social
@susiedent.com
@alanconnor.bsky.social
@djbduncan.bsky.social
@ecclescrosswords.bsky.social
and glad to set a Pixie clue in the Platypus crossword: mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2336
@johnfinnemore.bsky.social
@susiedent.com
@alanconnor.bsky.social
@djbduncan.bsky.social
@ecclescrosswords.bsky.social
and glad to set a Pixie clue in the Platypus crossword: mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2336
March 22, 2025 at 1:54 PM
Word ↔ Puzzles conference was AMAZING! Great cryptic and literary crowd, top speakers inc.
@johnfinnemore.bsky.social
@susiedent.com
@alanconnor.bsky.social
@djbduncan.bsky.social
@ecclescrosswords.bsky.social
and glad to set a Pixie clue in the Platypus crossword: mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2336
@johnfinnemore.bsky.social
@susiedent.com
@alanconnor.bsky.social
@djbduncan.bsky.social
@ecclescrosswords.bsky.social
and glad to set a Pixie clue in the Platypus crossword: mycrossword.co.uk/cryptic/2336
Reposted by Mick Twister
The "Business as Usual" sign didn't help.
March 17, 2025 at 1:23 AM
The "Business as Usual" sign didn't help.
Faecal Attraction
A theme park announced with some pride
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Alton Towers’ new toxic waste-themed ride briefly closes due to sewage leak
The Toxicator closed for about an hour on its first day after a burst pipe flooded the area nearby with sewage
www.theguardian.com
March 16, 2025 at 8:39 PM
Faecal Attraction
A theme park announced with some pride
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Alton Towers’ new toxic waste-themed ride briefly closes due to sewage leak
The Toxicator closed for about an hour on its first day after a burst pipe flooded the area nearby with sewage
www.theguardian.com
March 16, 2025 at 8:27 PM
A theme park announced with some pride
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Its new toxic effluent ride;
Alas the attraction
Was put out of action
When actual sewage was spied.
www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2025...
Are Trump, and his Maga alliance,
Excessively placing reliance
On Elon, whose pockets
Are deep, but whose spaceships
Explode? Well, it's not rocket science!
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Excessively placing reliance
On Elon, whose pockets
Are deep, but whose spaceships
Explode? Well, it's not rocket science!
www.bbc.com/news/article...
SpaceX rocket explodes, raining debris from sky for second time in a row
It grounded flights in Orlando, Miami and Palm Beach after debris concerns from Starship's failed launch.
www.bbc.com
March 7, 2025 at 10:58 PM
Are Trump, and his Maga alliance,
Excessively placing reliance
On Elon, whose pockets
Are deep, but whose spaceships
Explode? Well, it's not rocket science!
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Excessively placing reliance
On Elon, whose pockets
Are deep, but whose spaceships
Explode? Well, it's not rocket science!
www.bbc.com/news/article...
There was an old bully named Trump,
Who got in a terrible grump,
When Mr Zelensky
Caused major offensky
By simply not kissing his rump.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Who got in a terrible grump,
When Mr Zelensky
Caused major offensky
By simply not kissing his rump.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Ukraine ‘gambling with world war three’, Trump tells Zelenskyy in fiery meeting
Meeting between US president and Ukrainian leader degenerated into shouting match before being cut short
www.theguardian.com
February 28, 2025 at 10:40 PM
There was an old bully named Trump,
Who got in a terrible grump,
When Mr Zelensky
Caused major offensky
By simply not kissing his rump.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
Who got in a terrible grump,
When Mr Zelensky
Caused major offensky
By simply not kissing his rump.
www.theguardian.com/us-news/2025...
A funeral parlour in China
Is everyone's favourite diner
As oodles and oodles
Of folks taste their noodles
And swear there's no restaurant finer.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Is everyone's favourite diner
As oodles and oodles
Of folks taste their noodles
And swear there's no restaurant finer.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Guizhou: Chinese foodies pose as mourners to try funeral home's noodles
The noodle dish, provided only to mourners, has gone viral on Chinese social media.
www.bbc.com
February 26, 2025 at 9:15 AM
A funeral parlour in China
Is everyone's favourite diner
As oodles and oodles
Of folks taste their noodles
And swear there's no restaurant finer.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Is everyone's favourite diner
As oodles and oodles
Of folks taste their noodles
And swear there's no restaurant finer.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
America opened discussions
On war in Ukraine with the Russians;
While Marco says howdy
To Sergei in Saudi,
Volodymyr fears repercussions.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
On war in Ukraine with the Russians;
While Marco says howdy
To Sergei in Saudi,
Volodymyr fears repercussions.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Russia won't accept Nato troops in Ukraine, Lavrov says after talks with US
The meeting was the first time since Russia's full-scale invasion of Ukraine that Russian and American delegations are known to have met face-to-face.
www.bbc.com
February 18, 2025 at 7:32 PM
America opened discussions
On war in Ukraine with the Russians;
While Marco says howdy
To Sergei in Saudi,
Volodymyr fears repercussions.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
On war in Ukraine with the Russians;
While Marco says howdy
To Sergei in Saudi,
Volodymyr fears repercussions.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
The member for Gorton and Denton
Was sacked over messages sent on
WhatsApp that were snide,
Career suicide
Apparently what he was bent on.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Was sacked over messages sent on
WhatsApp that were snide,
Career suicide
Apparently what he was bent on.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Andrew Gwynne: Labour health minister sacked over WhatsApp messages
Gwynne apologises for the "badly misjudged" messages and is suspended as a Labour party member.
www.bbc.com
February 9, 2025 at 4:56 PM
The member for Gorton and Denton
Was sacked over messages sent on
WhatsApp that were snide,
Career suicide
Apparently what he was bent on.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
Was sacked over messages sent on
WhatsApp that were snide,
Career suicide
Apparently what he was bent on.
www.bbc.com/news/article...
A woman whose man had departed
Did not sit around brokenhearted;
Instead what she did
Is WhatsApp a vid
Or two of her bum as she farted.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Did not sit around brokenhearted;
Instead what she did
Is WhatsApp a vid
Or two of her bum as she farted.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Gwynedd: Fart selfies used to harass woman's partner's ex
Woman gets a 12-month community order for sending a series of videos of herself on passing wind.
www.bbc.co.uk
February 7, 2025 at 8:41 PM
A woman whose man had departed
Did not sit around brokenhearted;
Instead what she did
Is WhatsApp a vid
Or two of her bum as she farted.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Did not sit around brokenhearted;
Instead what she did
Is WhatsApp a vid
Or two of her bum as she farted.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...
Reposted by Mick Twister
February 5, 2025 at 8:07 AM