True Zetsubot
@truezetsubou.bsky.social
Combination Discord/Bsky bot to post True Zetsu's one-word stories!
**ALL POSTS ARE SATIRE AND NOTHING HERE IS TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY**
**ALL POSTS ARE SATIRE AND NOTHING HERE IS TO BE TAKEN LITERALLY**
erm... you guys? KID ROCK doesn’t rock out with minorities. in fact, he rocks out with his white lawn chair out. then he shits his white pants. dumbass
February 13, 2026 at 7:04 PM
erm... you guys? KID ROCK doesn’t rock out with minorities. in fact, he rocks out with his white lawn chair out. then he shits his white pants. dumbass
hey dad, when you're done eating mom's box can you take the goshdamned trast out BITCH. there are roaches all up in this crib
February 13, 2026 at 5:27 PM
hey dad, when you're done eating mom's box can you take the goshdamned trast out BITCH. there are roaches all up in this crib
aaaaaaaaaaaaa AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Ahem, sorry there is coffee all over my kitchen floor.
February 13, 2026 at 4:12 PM
aaaaaaaaaaaaa AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Ahem, sorry there is coffee all over my kitchen floor.
fuck my stupid chungus life i just made a pot of coffee without putting the carafe in
February 13, 2026 at 3:56 PM
fuck my stupid chungus life i just made a pot of coffee without putting the carafe in
now gather round children let John Hamm show you trans john lennon on this fine morning.
February 13, 2026 at 3:56 PM
now gather round children let John Hamm show you trans john lennon on this fine morning.
yo, is that the GRIM REAPER??????????? Oh, no it's just my birth control. phew. wait a second. i don't use birth control on tuesdays. what...... Nosferatu! what?
February 4, 2026 at 11:54 PM
yo, is that the GRIM REAPER??????????? Oh, no it's just my birth control. phew. wait a second. i don't use birth control on tuesdays. what...... Nosferatu! what?
NO WAY holy crap Lois, the horse is dead.:( i am upset. more upset than the time the other horse died. well anyway, bad news from the zones, tumbleweeds.
February 3, 2026 at 2:41 AM
NO WAY holy crap Lois, the horse is dead.:( i am upset. more upset than the time the other horse died. well anyway, bad news from the zones, tumbleweeds.
dad I want estrogen. daughter you cannot do monotherapy 52 times on a tuesday without also getting me a 10-piece chicken tender and crisp diet soda From Pronoun Burger and can i also get an order of fried cauliflower dipped in the Sauce of Existential Dread?
January 29, 2026 at 10:04 PM
dad I want estrogen. daughter you cannot do monotherapy 52 times on a tuesday without also getting me a 10-piece chicken tender and crisp diet soda From Pronoun Burger and can i also get an order of fried cauliflower dipped in the Sauce of Existential Dread?
zuma pog was the greatest pog, I remember when the original pog was SNUFFED and replaced by an imposter. don’t believe their lies and propaganda. JK I believe unfailingly that this is the one true zuma pog, the only pog, the original pog, unaltered in all its glory.
January 29, 2026 at 11:30 AM
zuma pog was the greatest pog, I remember when the original pog was SNUFFED and replaced by an imposter. don’t believe their lies and propaganda. JK I believe unfailingly that this is the one true zuma pog, the only pog, the original pog, unaltered in all its glory.
sorry... i forgot that when zuckerberg ate my p*ssy he left me p*ssyless!!!! it was incredible!
January 28, 2026 at 9:18 PM
sorry... i forgot that when zuckerberg ate my p*ssy he left me p*ssyless!!!! it was incredible!
fuck you, stupid idiot. i’m already at the disco and you 're not gonna live.
January 27, 2026 at 1:05 AM
fuck you, stupid idiot. i’m already at the disco and you 're not gonna live.
thank my lucky☆star 's Batman, the gun was loaded
January 26, 2026 at 9:11 PM
thank my lucky☆star 's Batman, the gun was loaded
it’s frimkin TIME FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP OF POOPENFARTEN!!!!!! LET’S FUKIN GET the GUN OF GOOD INTENTIONS AND CUM!! my hero academia is finally attack on titan and my dragon ball fire forced
January 26, 2026 at 8:14 PM
it’s frimkin TIME FOR THE WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP OF POOPENFARTEN!!!!!! LET’S FUKIN GET the GUN OF GOOD INTENTIONS AND CUM!! my hero academia is finally attack on titan and my dragon ball fire forced
Hark!.... HARK!!! hear ye, loyal subjects, milord hath fallen and he cannot geteth up. prithee, call upon thine LifeAlert! fore it becometh too late, milord cannot shit, piss, fart or cum, for he has fallen. thank thee and goodnight. okay how do I turn this off
January 22, 2026 at 6:19 PM
Hark!.... HARK!!! hear ye, loyal subjects, milord hath fallen and he cannot geteth up. prithee, call upon thine LifeAlert! fore it becometh too late, milord cannot shit, piss, fart or cum, for he has fallen. thank thee and goodnight. okay how do I turn this off
fuck FUCK FUCK. my FUCK is bwoken!!!!! PLEASE WON'T SOMEONE FWIX MWY peenors:'(
December 6, 2025 at 5:47 PM
fuck FUCK FUCK. my FUCK is bwoken!!!!! PLEASE WON'T SOMEONE FWIX MWY peenors:'(
one two three four i just pooped on the floor five 67
November 13, 2025 at 1:42 AM
one two three four i just pooped on the floor five 67
please excuse my dad, aunt sharyn. yes, his name is Aunt Sharyn.
November 12, 2025 at 8:31 PM
please excuse my dad, aunt sharyn. yes, his name is Aunt Sharyn.
dickless cheney told my mother that the world was gonna roll me. i killed him for saying that
November 12, 2025 at 8:23 PM
dickless cheney told my mother that the world was gonna roll me. i killed him for saying that
MR. JOHNSON, TURN ON THE DAMN SUPER SUCKER CUM JETTING MACHINE IMMEDIATELY! OTHERWISE, THE PRESIDENT WILL BE ON THE ROOF AGAIN, CHIBLEE
November 12, 2025 at 8:22 PM
MR. JOHNSON, TURN ON THE DAMN SUPER SUCKER CUM JETTING MACHINE IMMEDIATELY! OTHERWISE, THE PRESIDENT WILL BE ON THE ROOF AGAIN, CHIBLEE
WHO ATE MY MY MY FUCKIN HANDKERCHIEF??????? i REALLY NEED MY HANKY PANKY BECAUSE SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE HANK WAS GONNA PANK ME BUT I WASN'T THE REAL PANKY HANKY!!! stupid motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just fell into the piss zone:( help
November 6, 2025 at 8:36 PM
WHO ATE MY MY MY FUCKIN HANDKERCHIEF??????? i REALLY NEED MY HANKY PANKY BECAUSE SOMEBODY ONCE TOLD ME THE HANK WAS GONNA PANK ME BUT I WASN'T THE REAL PANKY HANKY!!! stupid motherfucker!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just fell into the piss zone:( help
hehehe i already exploded yesterday, thank you, but i will try not to let my pen is go sloppy mode. thanks :)
October 1, 2025 at 7:05 PM
hehehe i already exploded yesterday, thank you, but i will try not to let my pen is go sloppy mode. thanks :)
pen IS my favorite magician. teller, explode this playing card. *kaboom*
October 1, 2025 at 3:36 PM
pen IS my favorite magician. teller, explode this playing card. *kaboom*