Tont Coles
@tontcoles.bsky.social
Writes offensively at affectionatediscourse.substack.com. Videogames, cats, probably crying or something? Thinking about starting a podcast analysing Davis-Brydon masterpiece Human Remains. Once did words for Edge and Eurogamer, apparently.
Pinned
What does the symbolic death of physical videogame retail mean to you, and how many times did you hide in bed, sobbing uncontrollably?
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
GAME (The Shop): The Definitive Review
Retail Receivership Relays Rare Rewarding Remembrances
open.substack.com
February 7, 2026 at 10:20 AM
What does the symbolic death of physical videogame retail mean to you, and how many times did you hide in bed, sobbing uncontrollably?
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Because I am a massive pervert, I bought this collection off eBay for a fiver.
February 5, 2026 at 8:08 PM
Because I am a massive pervert, I bought this collection off eBay for a fiver.
Eugene and Larry's Defender is an all-time great that very few people can actually play. Via namedropping and boasting about my retro collection, I attempt to explain why it's absolutely incredible.
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Defender: The Definitive Review
Welcome To The Dawn Of Machine Malevolence
open.substack.com
January 31, 2026 at 10:06 AM
Eugene and Larry's Defender is an all-time great that very few people can actually play. Via namedropping and boasting about my retro collection, I attempt to explain why it's absolutely incredible.
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
There's nothing wrong with buying more copies of Mercenary off eBay.
January 29, 2026 at 1:15 PM
There's nothing wrong with buying more copies of Mercenary off eBay.
Ever wondered what my mildest interpretation of Star Wars Outlaws would be? Read on!
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Star Wars Outlaws: The Definitive Review
When Ubisoft Play Ball With The Big Boys And Drop It
open.substack.com
January 24, 2026 at 10:08 AM
Ever wondered what my mildest interpretation of Star Wars Outlaws would be? Read on!
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Hackers (1995) continually proves itself to be the pinnacle of Western culture.
January 24, 2026 at 12:16 AM
Hackers (1995) continually proves itself to be the pinnacle of Western culture.
How grumpy can you get about the 2026 release schedule? I got this grumpy:
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
2026: The Definitive Review
A.K.A. Tony Coles Hates The World
open.substack.com
January 17, 2026 at 10:15 AM
How grumpy can you get about the 2026 release schedule? I got this grumpy:
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
I have resumed my grim and terrible work once again. This time to write about The Outer Worlds 2's ending!
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
The Outer Worlds 2’s Ending: The Definitive Review
When the vow breaks, the cradle will fall
open.substack.com
January 10, 2026 at 10:09 AM
I have resumed my grim and terrible work once again. This time to write about The Outer Worlds 2's ending!
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Reposted by Tont Coles
First post. What a film to start with. So iconic they’re still making them nearly 40 years later.
Predator — 9 January 1988
#AdmitOneDaily
#cinema #movietickets #filmhistory #predator #1980s #arnoldschwarzenegger
callsheetapp.com/movie/106
Predator — 9 January 1988
#AdmitOneDaily
#cinema #movietickets #filmhistory #predator #1980s #arnoldschwarzenegger
callsheetapp.com/movie/106
January 6, 2026 at 3:16 PM
First post. What a film to start with. So iconic they’re still making them nearly 40 years later.
Predator — 9 January 1988
#AdmitOneDaily
#cinema #movietickets #filmhistory #predator #1980s #arnoldschwarzenegger
callsheetapp.com/movie/106
Predator — 9 January 1988
#AdmitOneDaily
#cinema #movietickets #filmhistory #predator #1980s #arnoldschwarzenegger
callsheetapp.com/movie/106
Just a bit of fun this week, lads: open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Music League: The Definitive Review
It’s just a bit of fun, lads
open.substack.com
November 29, 2025 at 10:09 AM
Just a bit of fun this week, lads: open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Timely for once! Who doesn't love the #Xbox360? Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get a grip etc etc etc.
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
The Microsoft Xbox 360: The Definitive Review
Allard, Allard, where for art thou Allard?
open.substack.com
November 22, 2025 at 10:07 AM
Timely for once! Who doesn't love the #Xbox360? Like, what the fuck is wrong with you? Get a grip etc etc etc.
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
How to crowbar your love for a late-70s sci-fi show into some waffle about #theouterworlds2 :
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
The Spirit Of The Outer Worlds 2: The Definitive Review
A Vibes-Based Approach To Videogame Criticism
open.substack.com
November 15, 2025 at 10:10 AM
How to crowbar your love for a late-70s sci-fi show into some waffle about #theouterworlds2 :
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
The Outer Worlds 2: The Definitive Review
Always. Be. Obsidianing.
open.substack.com
November 8, 2025 at 10:08 AM
With huge apologies to @pentadact.com , I have written about #heatsignature , the best space heist stealth murder gadget hacking tactical puzzle game ever made:
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
Heat Signature: The Definitive Review
Always. Be. Crashbeaming. Glitchtrapping. Shotgunning. Wrenching. Subverting (extreme range, self-charging)
open.substack.com
October 25, 2025 at 9:18 AM
With huge apologies to @pentadact.com , I have written about #heatsignature , the best space heist stealth murder gadget hacking tactical puzzle game ever made:
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
In reference to my R-Type Final 3 Evolved stuff, here's the first thing I ever saw about R-Type, via Commodore User's arcade pages. These four screenshots set my imagination ablaze.
October 24, 2025 at 4:48 PM
In reference to my R-Type Final 3 Evolved stuff, here's the first thing I ever saw about R-Type, via Commodore User's arcade pages. These four screenshots set my imagination ablaze.
Because you should love it like I do, here's how to play #R-Type Final (and 2 and 3 and 3 Evolved):
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
How To Play R-Type Final 3 Evolved: The Definitive Review
Or any of the R-Types Final, as it goes
open.substack.com
October 18, 2025 at 9:09 AM
Because you should love it like I do, here's how to play #R-Type Final (and 2 and 3 and 3 Evolved):
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
The 8-bit machine that was sort of the Xbox Series X of its day, only with better corporate management: open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
The 8-Bit Experience - The Commodore Plus/4: The Definitive Review
Riding behind the wave, 48KB down
open.substack.com
October 11, 2025 at 9:17 AM
The 8-bit machine that was sort of the Xbox Series X of its day, only with better corporate management: open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
It's time for another #R-Type Final 3 love-in. It's my filler game for October, as I genuinely think I can get all the ships before Outer Worlds 2 comes out.
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/the-discre...
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/the-discre...
The Discreet Charm Of The Filler Game: The Definitive Review
Actually another piece on R-Type Final 3 Evolved
affectionatediscourse.substack.com
October 4, 2025 at 9:12 AM
It's time for another #R-Type Final 3 love-in. It's my filler game for October, as I genuinely think I can get all the ships before Outer Worlds 2 comes out.
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/the-discre...
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/the-discre...
A wonderful game full of heart and soul, Avowed is just too nice to be ignored. #avowed #obsidian
substack.com/@affectionat...
substack.com/@affectionat...
Avowed’s Last Maps: The Definitive Review
I vowed, I sowed and I wowed.
substack.com
September 20, 2025 at 9:09 AM
A wonderful game full of heart and soul, Avowed is just too nice to be ignored. #avowed #obsidian
substack.com/@affectionat...
substack.com/@affectionat...
With huge apologies to @ultrabrilliant.xyz , here is my review of his fanzine, which actually becomes some vague mess about late-era PS1 racing games and other waffle. open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
One More Win: The Definitive Review
Ridge Racer Romance Realised
open.substack.com
September 13, 2025 at 9:12 AM
With huge apologies to @ultrabrilliant.xyz , here is my review of his fanzine, which actually becomes some vague mess about late-era PS1 racing games and other waffle. open.substack.com/pub/affectio...
After a month off, here's a thing about Strider, which is really about rock-hard combat platformers.
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/strider-th...
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/strider-th...
Strider: The Definitive Review
Always. Be. Striding.
affectionatediscourse.substack.com
September 6, 2025 at 9:04 AM
After a month off, here's a thing about Strider, which is really about rock-hard combat platformers.
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/strider-th...
affectionatediscourse.substack.com/p/strider-th...
Just a FYI that I haven't given up on Affectionate Discourse, I was merely on holiday. For ages! Lucky me.
September 5, 2025 at 3:51 PM
Just a FYI that I haven't given up on Affectionate Discourse, I was merely on holiday. For ages! Lucky me.
I have obtained one of the sacred texts of our gods, and for a fraction of its eBay value.
August 4, 2025 at 7:36 PM
I have obtained one of the sacred texts of our gods, and for a fraction of its eBay value.
Emulators I Have Loved And Lost: The Definitive Review
Always. Be. Emulating
open.substack.com
August 3, 2025 at 8:36 AM